something about Him and me.

2009-12-29T00:18:00.003+08:00

Been through OCS - it's tough nonetheless.
Used to looking forward about book out and going home - no longer now,
Used to believe LLL : long lasting love - hardly now,

I'm stuck in loneliness, submerged halfway.
Hardly anyone knows...

My heart was tearing about the promises in my life and the people i used to like, when I was watching "The Promise" at Channel U.
Friends, are just being chucked to one side after somewhile. even those who are close to you?
I was very sad, about the promises people made and never fulfill it, and i felt depressed yesterday.

I am pretty lost - about the things in the world.
I really dun like how i am living now, everything seems to be so fake.
everyone wants to be at the receiving end, and no one wants to give it..
I felt tired.. how much can i continue to move on, with God?
how much can i hold on?

Nonetheless, I really want to thank God for this opportunity to be in OCS.
to be where I am, for God really loves me whoever I am.
For this period of time, He is going to drill me more on discipline to be a disciple,
and that's what i want to be, but I am not doing anything.
He's not going to be angry, He is gonna loves me more and more, because i really want to seek Him. I hardly can trust anyone on this land, this world.

How sweet it will be for Him to sing "This I Promise You".
maybe this my part of loneliess, that God gonna build me up to be a strong person.
In life, He has always provide any opportunity for me to strive.

For this season, there's a lot for me to reflect.
Christmas, I do not really feel much about it, though I wanted to.
I just feel so indifferent..
maybe my heart has hardened, or maybe i have changed.
but no one can change my direction towards God..

Praise God. :)
and thank you Lord, for everything in my life! :)
For You have came for me.. :)

2009-07-18T09:41:00.003+08:00

It is the 5th week book out, going back tomorrow, sunday 1450 hours.
Pretty bad timing, but i guess it's necessary.

things are happening at home -
parents are going to be separated for 3 years;
I am in the middle of crossroads and i asked my brother about it. He spoke very much about his journey upon choosing engineering path. It is really tough for him because he started from ITE to NTU. Thank God for him, cos i guess without him, i think i wont be able to thinking through my decision and my actions.
My strengths, my future, my weaknesses, areas that I know I can strive and get used with, what I really wanted at the end of the day, and what i can give with my strength, and whatever God has provided.

In the midst of army, it is all revolving, and it just keeps on coming.
Today, I woke up with a broken heart, with her in my dreams.
It is a sweet dream to have her, but it is a cruel fact to find that she is no longer by my side - and my tears flowed out as I went to wash out.
Maybe things have been different now, if i am with her; or maybe not.
I guess though it has been sometime, it still leave a big hole in the small and weak me.

Thank You Lord, for always been with me.
And hey,
thank God for you, Jo-lin, for making the effort to keep in touch.
well your smses perks me up, to reality.

Thanks for all the prayers - they are important and dear to me, really. (:
thank God for everything. (:

2009-06-05T01:01:00.002+08:00

a little bit of this and that, guess that pretty make up life.

Thank God that I have came so far in my life.
now, it is the time for this..

Army.
pretty soon, i will be enlisting.
pretty soon, i will be gone.
pretty soon, i will be missed.
pretty soon, i will be 'botak'...

whatever that was done for, i will be doing for the others.
I guess, life isnt that bad,
because there are so much things to thank God for.
Pretty much, i guess i have screwed up my life, my own self. (:

I thank God for God.
I thank God for my families, cell families.
I thank God for people around me, in school and AH.
I thank God for people who taught me, good and bad.
I thank God for all the prayers.

I thank Jesus - He taught me pretty much in life.
Asking from Christ, about questions in life, in skyway.
Making my decision with Christ and with Chris, those who looked over me.

I always have this admiration and adorations upon all the couples.
Everyone has their tough, yet beautiful and loving story behind every relationship.
Persevering through and through all difficulties.
If I have these thoughts, i guess, at least 1 percent of the people in this world will have it too.
seeking and trying to find the ways in romance.
I just thank Jesus for telling me all these - it just make me realise that,
I do have this special story in my heart. maybe, it may seems like it has passed, but the very fact i hope everything can be refresh, from the bottom of my heart.

but i do have another special story to tell, currently on going: how Christ has loved me, show me the different aspects - beautiful and positive aspects in life. Believing Him is tough, but rejecting the things that He has done, and always been doing is even tougher.
It is a loving story to tell.
In fact it gives hope, love and faith, to those who are weak, poor and lost.

Blessed are those who hears Him, and asks Him.
“Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.”- 1 Chronicles 29:11

2009-05-12T23:25:00.003+08:00

I was passing-by my house around, while rushing off to pickup Zero and Nelson.
I came by this blangadesh, who is having quite a hard time pushing the heavy thingy.

I was thinking, should i help or not?
it is dirty.
i am kinda rushing for time.
he can do it by himself.

I was struggling to help him, or not.
SO IN THE END....

i didn't, i rushed off to pick them up.
i feel that, i need to pick them up as soon as possible.
but i prayed within myself: Dear Lord, if i will be coming up with this matter again, i will help him, or whoever it is.

And i asked both of them.
and they said yes.

i realised, if all these can add up to every little good thing in the world,
i guess, this world will be more beautiful, little by little.
and a lot of things added to this beautiful world: human beings.
so nice! :D

I just had my graduation yesterday. it was kinda fun.
and i went for NJD training after that.

my reluctancy about this graduation was pretty much. I didn't really do well.
a GPA of 2.30 after 3 years - something i am not really proud of.
kinda condemnation by my classmates - the understanding and hard learning process for me.
waste of time, may eat into training time = sians.

but i went still, after hearing what Chris said.
Like what Chris said, to celebrate this graduation with Jesus.
a process that Jesus, He himeself, walked beside me.
Thank You Lord. (:
I thank God, for all these in my life. If it is without Jesus comforting me, I guess, Jimmy wont be here, and graduated.

while walking towards the Director of Health Science for an empty red scroll, I felt the pride on walking. the breeze came to my face as i was walking. it is cooling, and memorable.
it was just all over, the 3 years in poly.
welcome to the new start.

I thank God, I was looking at my transcript, do i really suit my nursing career?
which apparently not. I did quite well with all my nursing practical.
and the others, not that good, other than those management and issues in the world.
oh well, what can i find for myself, a job which consist of all these?
I am looking forward that the Way God has planned. (:

deep within myself, I am feeling pretty dry and down.
I miss her. everytime, I search for her, in church, and in hall 9.
Just to see her well being, and i always caught her in my eyes.
but she didn't, which is pretty fine.

though i just want say a hi to her.
God just blessed me with this,
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:”- Proverbs 31:10, 27-28

who can find? only Christ. (:
I just love the way that God affirms me. (:

Lin Jun Jie has came up with a new song: 表达爱
发现爱 - 期待爱 - 表达爱,
it pretty has much of its description about love.
Discovering, waiting, and showing about love, is what God does in our lives.
we found God's love. while we pray and wait, He shows His love silently around us.
And He shows us more of He loving us as we read more about Him.

Thank You, My Father in Heaven. (:
泪水流过才明白
爱不爱原来心里早已存在
幸福不在千里外让
我勇敢表达爱...

2009-04-18T23:04:00.003+08:00

I wont fight, I will cry.

I guess that is pretty much for a human.
for them, to love and to believe.
I want to be that kind of people, very weak in all manners.
broken, and contrite.

why is it so?
I realised, God love me, because i am weak.
the strong will, and the child in me.
putting away my childish side. yeah.
and my intelligence, insight, and specificity.

guess, that's much in my life.
others, may view me as a lower being, and maybe rejected me.
i will cry and i will change.

hey, welcome to life. (:
thank God and thank you Lord. (:

2009-04-12T00:30:00.002+08:00

living in anticipation, praise God.

every fear that I faced, I thank God for all the grace, chances and love that He has put into my life. I didnt really suffer much, I guess.
but I hope I can let others see the faith taht I am working towards too,
for that's God's love for all.

Good friday isnt just a good friday.
It is for me to reflect what really pin my dear heavenly Daddy onto the Cross.
it speaks of great love and grace from God.
my attitude, my characters, simply everything in my life.

i do have her in my heart,
but i surrender my heart, my mind to Christ, for I know I adore, love Him, and He loves me.
let me not to forget the rest around me,
and her, who i really loved, and love - but just wanna commit to You, Father.
Lead me back to you. (:

Praise God for all the things in my life. yeah (:

2009-04-08T23:43:00.002+08:00

thank God for today.

went to clarice's house today.
thank God her parents, and her grand-daddy were fine.
so glad to hear that.
both of her parents are very nice.

oh, today managed to pray at the coffin - it was indeed a blessing.
I always have this fear, even though sometimes, the one lying in the coffin
I was praying hard that grandmother will arise from the dead.
and now, i just to pray for the well being of the family.

may the peace and God's love, fall into the home and family. (:

lol, I guess i am really blessed today.
went to help out pastor to give out flyers for coming easter sunday.
then they tell me, there is a prayer meet later.
thank God, for that. otherwise I have wasted it.
nonetheless thank God for today, and everything.

prayer meet, is perfectly wonderful with God. (:
Praise the Lord! :)

2009-04-07T00:20:00.002+08:00

thank God for today!

it was a great day to start with quarreling with my mum. :D
cos I woke up late and well, I did know what I am doing, and it's wrong for me to do it.
and now, I have to change. first thing to change, is to sleep early, which i have to after i finished my blogging! tee hees!

met Ian to shop for risers maintainence stuffs.
thank God for providing some jobs with my mum, so i can earn some pocket money.
thank God for giving us such good places to get things.
thank God for the journey mercy.
thank God for the people around me are safe.
thank God for ideas that are flowing through our heads.
and i so so get a nice design for my risers, especially the springs. Roar!

nowadays as i am trying to push things to get going, i also have to keep update myself about the newspapers, magazines and be observant about the things around us.
to learn from people around me.
It is really glory to God, because without surrendering my mind and my heart to Him, it is just so me. so yup. (:
definitely the search for materials has not ended.
in fact it has just started.
equipments, paint sprays and tools for risers, very important to get a consistent supplier and everything.

a random thought came into my mind:
if I can install a GN-drive (those who watches Gundam OO season 2 know this) onto it, then running with it, will be so cool! :D
i was having this thinking too, if something like the risers can be an energy provider, and we use ourselves as trained and skill to be another energy provider, that will definitely increase the output of the risers.

it will be so powerful. :D
as i was passing through bras basah complex, there are so many memories came back. but of course, i must do what i need to. thank God for Ian, i managed to try how does MAc's milk shake tastes like. though sitting alone along the rails with milkshake, this strawberry flavoured milk shake taste extra-ordinary sweet with love and concern. I guess that is the power of strawberry. :D

dinner time! only 5 of us. haiz.. next time dont come le.
I didnt know i will be getting my green belt. finally green belt le.
thank God for the grading in Ninjado - cos i am not supposed to do that well.
haiz, have to stretch more lo, my flexibility has so much problems. haiz.

oh well, thank God, because as much as it hurts very much, it just pushes me on. (:
no pain, no gain. (:
And God really blesses me. (:

Praise the Lord! :)

2009-04-06T14:40:00.002+08:00

does friends really just like, hi and bye?
or was it just a bit more?

I was happy with this friend of mine.
well, i like him a lot, used to. but now i know it's just a crush, so i dun think i will be bothering him so much.
because i scare... whatever whatever whatever! :D

baka - i guess, there is very much in what nowadays thinking now, those who think quite a lot and have some intelligence.
when sensible guys say friends, most of them means friends.
personally, i mean what i say. :D
I think a lot of gals have always been tricked about this deception:
i liked this guy then now not le, so i will just leave that guy.
i mean as a guy that is very sad: it's like shit, and hey sometimes guys dun even know gals want to get close to them, because they like them, and everything will start from friendship.
but things doesnt seems to that way, they just get away from the guys.
why cannot friendship?

friendship is fun, enjoyable, for there each other. well, if friendship you found it's redundant. i guess, some friends who wanted to your true friends, wasted their effort.
true friends care for each others.
and do what true friends really tell each other, commited to each other?
does true friends cross really have to cross the boundaries between two different genders?

i guess, that is my definition. it is for your reference. Roar!
just be truthful to your friends.
or... at first.. can you even be truthful to yourself?

I thank God, i have Jesus as my true friend and the people around me, who care for me.
maybe just a sms about how i am - i guess that is more that sufficient.
Praise God. (:

2009-04-05T00:56:00.004+08:00

been thinking through a lot and a lot, but realised only through God, everything is possible.
I thank God, beacuse yes I am someone who is very much kept to myself,
people who are very close to me are my victims who i can complain.
I guess that is very much about human, but at least, everytime i whine I tried something else.
so i wont stay still,

that is Jimmy, ever changing - but one thing i never failed, is to keep to myself.
unless you ask me: becaue people who really care for me, will ask me and i will share deeper.. (:
thank God for them. (:

after watching the final episode of Gundam OO seasons 2, yeah it is very interesting.
I love Macross Frontier and Gundam OO;
Marcross Frontier talks about the relationship between people, that man does not work alone, rather, there are always friends, and when people tries to strike us down, we know that our friends will help us - that is what precisely what God do. (:
Gundam OO speaks very much about helping each other, understand each other, through things in life, daily behaviours, to come to build a better world - we tend to do so much into others lives, and i realised, i will just want to stop a while in life, to look, to see, to concern and to care for people who is around me.

it takes a whole world to live in a planet, we are not alone. (:
may God leads me to the impossible. (:
I shall hold onto You, the Centre of my Life. (:
thank you for the tears You have cried - and You know how I feel.
"Jesus wept" - Father, You cry not because of others feeling down, rather You just want to cry with us, and Father, You understand it all.
(:

just time to relax, and to work with God hand in hand, to see the impossible.
dreams! take flight! :D

2009-03-16T00:42:00.002+08:00

Synergy.

It's a very powerful word.
In all successes in life, it has required that.

what did i received upon worshipping the Lord?
His majesty, Love, grace, mercy, His Glory, His Warmth, Embrace, Holy Spirit and a relationship with Him.
His ever saving grace, makes me knee on the ground.
Just imagine all these came at once, I am convicted by Christ. (:

human has nothing at all, just a bag of flesh, emotions and a living breath of God.
that is so much limited that we can do.
But i thank God, as the three days of G12 conference, worshipping, eating and noting down everything on that day, yes drained me out but ultimately, I realised I cant really do much, but to listen to God, ask Him to use me mightily.

am I dreamer? No.
all I am is a simple human, but God makes things in wonderful way.
the effort that placed together by men, maximising the ways of humans.
plus the anointing of God, and the teaching of God, the guidance of the Holy Spirit,
everything grows - like how a righteous man prospers.

I believe i will be prospering soon. haha. :D
cos, life is unfair, but God is Good, all the time. (:

2009-03-08T21:02:00.004+08:00

It's been soemtimes, everything is over: coming to a month.
I realised, and i undestand, I neglected very much of what is love.
I have rejected, ways of love, maybe not a lot of understand what is my language of love.
I have been rejected by myself.
is it really through relationship then i can receive love?
absolutely not. how much different?

good friends, true friends who loves me.
my family who loves me.
if you are seeing my blog, thank you.

relationship come the commitment and love - ultimately friendship.
so.. yup, so far, but of course to continue to pursue for more friendships.
especially those who are treasuring now.

my dear brothers, and Chris (my God-daddy (: ), thanks for the family and love.
it took me 4 years to know that, how to receive. maybe i lost it during the process of growing up.
I hope i dun lose it again. (:
and thank You Lord, for letting me so much things in life,
the things around me,
the meaning behind things,
not hardening my heart,
know the difference between the real world, and myself,
what You want me to be, knowing the true self of mine.

maybe it is like what Pastor YC said 'gave too much that we forget how to receive.'
how do i know i receive lots of love?

I got good parents - that is not by fate.
I got good friends - I thank God that I have good friends, because people who cannot stand me, will leave me.
I am well provided - thank God.
woo hoo. got to know one more friend closer.

didnt know her sweet strength, came from such a secret force. (:
she's tough nut to crack, but she is very nice, nicer than anyone thought.
she is friendly, even though in times,
she tricked me,
scolded me stupid lol,
but she dunno she is mean to herself,
losing herself to who she loves,
making me loving her more, as friend.
she says i am trustworthy..
hey my good friend, sorry today.
i can't be there for you. but i did pray for you.
i felt very bad, because there is once my ex wanted me to be there, i wasnt, as she asked me not to.
and i have kept her msg what she told me at night - and i cried in my heart that night.
but that is in the past, it's over. (:

i am here to receive the future, and love from Christ.
after receiving, to spread it to others. (:
eh, especially you - smart gal. :D

thank You Lord...
thank God for all of you, my families and friends.
thank God for you all,
especially your friendliness, smart girl. (:
it touches me. (:
thank God for you. (:
and i super duper scared that i will fall for you. lol. :D
if he dun treasure you, your friends and me will treasure you. (:

2009-02-28T01:17:00.003+08:00

finished my last attachment on last last tuesday.
thursday they celebrated ward sister's birthday - it was a belated birthday.
her actual birthday was 13 Feb, which is the valentine day's eve.

a mixture of feelings.
I have been thinking my future career and life.
to be a nurse or not to.

it was a nice experience to work in AH. facilities may not be as much other hospitals, but it is still very efficient and it provides patient care very much.
it is so much in an extent where maybe other hospital may need extra manpower to provide.
it is a very nice and good place to work, just that it has very little exposure to other disease and management.

I felt like, i was working there. Caring patients - pouring what we have is what an nurse will do, whether is it a staff nurse or an assistant nurse.
I love to communicate to my patients, providing support to them.
and my passion is to save lives.
but apparently, that is very little what nurses can do - as i worked through my PRCP.
I can handle up to 6 patients so far. night shift, with continuous antibiotics - 9 patients.
3 admissions were done by my preceptor.
Thank God for all my preceptors, without them and without SSN Tong's teaching, I dun think Jimmy will be able to reorganise his work.
thanks Murnie for helping to boost my confidence level - because she's the one who said I am ready to be a nurse.
thanks Tong, because she has great patience to teach me, and bless with meals - because everytime, I am so busy until I got no time to eat.
Not because I dunno how to manage my work, it just that I will like to participant in most of my nursing care to patient.
To turn them,
to clean diapers,
to change bedsheet,
to bring them to bath -something i did the least. :x
to do all the changes.

doing so much, giving what I can provide the best nursing care:
that is not saving lives - a nurse helps them to regain to their optimal level of independence upon recovery.

must i be a nurse then I can save lives?
specialised skills to take care of patients, to bring hope to their lives?
are all that my job as a nurse?
For one thing I am sure, I want to be like Paul.
7 days a week - he works for 5 days, and the rest he used it to preach, to teach and to fellowship.
I got a choice. (:

Being through the nursing course taught me a lot in life.
even in a smaller scale hospital, i thank God because I learnt to prioritise, to manage and to control whatever I need to do.
It is a stepping stone for me.
To begin with, in my life. (:

I was asking Christ, what do He want me to do: He asked me to wait, to be still.
I believe Him, because He taught me a lot of things about Him and He loves me. (:
I will seek for Him, for my future. (:
I believe there is something more He wants to give me. (:

Praise God. (:

2009-02-23T00:06:00.003+08:00

I was thinking about the relationship.
Found myself to be quite upset about how it ended.

Somehow, I thank Christ for today, that I managed to went for service.
It renewed the relationship between Christ and me, as I was sitting there and pray.
Chris, my spiritual leader-daddy, helped me to pray and hug me - my tears flowed.
On the other hand, as I begin to think about the things that has passed,
well if I managed to see her again, whether things are doing fine or not, I think as long as I can see her smile, I will be smiling too.

so as i prayed today,
a sense of calmness came into me, the warmth - and no doubt, that's love.

a love that Christ wanted to give me.
Thank You Lord.
it just marks the first step in my life. (:

2009-02-14T08:18:00.003+08:00

it's over, for this loving relationship between her and me.
over valentine.

well, our friendship has not over yet.
something I wont rather care much. Lol. :D

And thank God, it happened during this time - oh man.
I learnt a lot.
To love one unconditionally,
to embrace through everything,
to think appropriately,
to learn the right way,
and to obey God's laws.

Thank God.
and God is real, so real.
Did I made the wrong choice?

I dun think so.
I think, it's been a wonderful relationship, though we dated each other twice only, within 2 months.

Praise God. (:
and thank you. (:

2009-01-16T23:03:00.002+08:00

I was upset today.
upset, because there is such a great miscommunication between both of us.
thank God for Ziyang, who went out with me in the end.
He seems like a subsitute to her, lol. but too bad, he is not her.
thank God for Ziyang, who went out with me,
I got a new pair of pants, Ziyang got lost his wallet. lol.
haiz, my poor buddy. (:

today, I really wanted to go out with her- I dunno whether is it the selfish me, or unsecured me or the busy me, I just wanted to go out with her badly.
and today, she reinforced to me - ah my profession habit!
REINFORCED: a word that I will used to instruct patient to do something, and to tell them again. especially to do something that is real hard and make sure they can repeat what I do.

but guess, today is a wake up day for me.
She reinforced to me, as she said today she wanted to go out with her friend.
too bad then, and let it be.
thank God, and as much as I wanted to cry to God - oh well, just gonna control my emotions.
It just make me too upset through out the day. Guess I have to keep prayering,
to keep my soul and my mind, the Holy Spirit to alive and burn even wilder.
it is good that she went out today and, also I wanted to go out with her after I received her sms.
It seems like I can't.

so no point keep upsetting. so....keep my upset mood! wooot!
muahahah!

well guess she wanted a relationship to be free and not demanding.
let it be - hope she dun complain i dun hav time for her lol.
let it be - see what she can do lol.

let it....

aiya, whatever la!
she didnt ask me to be upset anyway. hah!
because in this relationship is meant to bless each other.
roar!
I am still slightly upset. :(
let my tears roll over my face when I am asleep...!

Thank God for today.
thank God for Ziyang! (:
wee! :D

2009-01-06T17:31:00.000+08:00

I was once reminded about the simple faith.
God told me about it.
TO keep it, it's so hard...

... and it is the only way to God.
it comes with faith, love and hope.
I was constantly reminded about what God told me through you;
I am sometimes childish and do that childish actions. lol. yeah true.
and that's so true. (:

So, I changed because I need to, I want to, and I believe I have to.
That childishness, I changed - I need to keep the child in me,
on the other hand, to grow and guard things, and develop my character. (:

2009-01-02T17:06:00.003+08:00

A year, getting it through with God, and breaking through my life, sorting out issues in my life.
Thanks giving there are lot, it's quite a waste not to share, but none the lest. I think i shall share it here.

thanksgivings:
lots to cry about,
lots to be sad about.
lots to believe about,
lots of it is to dream about.

Getting intimacy with God, at times when I am lost - is the main point.
when I was quite helpless,
getting screwed by people around me,
correcting my character,
losing GOd's wisdom in my life,
my attachments,
not getting enough rest,
fighting for opportunities,
lots...

leads me to a dream.
TO soar like a eagle,
to roar like a lion,
and to dream,

because I am a dream. (:
To forget,
to love,
to forgo,
to forgive,
to learn,
to seek,
to knock,
to gather,
to dream,
to teach and to preach.

God told me very much about my spiritual walk.
MY salvation,
what God told me a bout love.
A lot of things in life, I still ahve to be clear about myself,
where am I standing,
why do i want to seek,
what are the things that I place deeply in my heart?
and,
what is long term,
what is eternal, that stand through true fire and storms. (:

Praise God, for what I am. (:

2008-12-30T17:06:00.003+08:00

I thank God for these years.

Every year, Christmas is kinda same, until God saw my heart to serve Him-
that was the date I worked together with my whole cell group, Wendy and some of the ladies.
Thank God, for this year, I went through my attachment, with lot of pleasant things passing me by:

my hope party,
Christmas,
Christmas outing with NP ninjado mates,
missing a lot of services,
missing my time with my kids,
pulling up myself to go to Gkids then go work.

Thank God for all, I just kinda feel about how others feel, when they are not free and available to help us.

This year Christmas, I felt His Touch strongest so far in my life. (:
The lyrics that rings my heart.
The gift that is sent to the people.

Hark the Herald Angel Sing, Silent Night-
Angels We have heard high, joy to the World-

used to be the songs that I dun put in my heart.
But one of the afternoon shifts nearing the Christmas,
a group of people sang, and so it changed my heart too.

It was the night I wanted to, the need to,
and what God wants me to,
to change myself, in all senses-
in my behaviour, my thoughts, my words, my characters.

The Gift - Jesus Christ.
And that time, she was a gift to me too.
Though she was with me a while, I thank God for her. (:

The year is coming to an end.
I missed a lot of things, outings, time with others, my family and all.
But thank God, I see an eternity. (:

Thank God for this year. (:
I am a dream,

this is what He told me. (:

2008-10-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

it was back few weeks that this happened.

I was disappointed, purely disappointed.

I was carrying my risers upon the train platform,
and there, from far, you saw me.
I was limping my way through the way, with a injured ankle.
As far as you noticed me, there at the same time, I saw you too.

Was I a stranger, or was I a man,
that then when you saw a helpless man and turned your face,
looked into the book?

I limped my way to the front of the platform
through the cloudless sky,
there your face were upon sheets of black and white.
Finally I made my destination, a closer look,
you have not changed from reading,
except you are on earphones, which I just realised.

Was I a stranger, or was I a man,
that then when you saw a helpless man and turned your face,
looked into the book, music that numbs your sensitiviy?

Upon looking into the toilet of your own kind
as doors opened wide,
seeing your face after church service,
you saw the limping me with my limbless riser set.

your still eyes,
fixed upon me.
it reminds me of the day.
the disappointment I had,
filled up within me.

Thus i turned my face away from you,
to look for an open space.

2008-09-14T22:20:00.002+08:00

I was holding a sputum... wait!

I shall called it, phelgm. :D

thick phelgm that soaked through the first tissue.
Thank God I was holding another tissue and throw it away, cos the wet and WARM phelgm is soaking through. I can feel the warm, because the second tissue, is ... getting wet! :D

thank God for these days.

It's a real struggle for the last last week of my first 3 week.
I thank God for my CI, Robin - well, he taught me standard of nursing. I do learnt a lot, and catch up what is lost. However, there are more for me to learn. (:

NURSING NURSING! Here I am! :D

Thank God for leading me.

I'll move on, I'll go on.
Lord I will take Your hand,
and you will guide me along,
soar back through the storm.
So I say,
I'll make, I want to hold onto my hope,
Yes I will walk down this road, and the passion will try to lead me on..

2008-09-02T15:55:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was one of the greatest days in my life.

I was on the way home, feeling quite emo.
Even though my smiles are always on my face, a sense of joy and happiness is on my face, there are times that I was real down.
Like yesterday, when I was leaving the place, I dun wish to go away from that place.
Like yesterday, when I was thinking whether to take MC for yesterday, because I was really tired and down - I felt I am like a common person, as much as my attachment is part of my priority.

Appreciated? Definitely I am being appreciated, at all times and all ways, by Christ, my family and friends. I am not looking for a sense of belongings - but rather, I am looking for my own things - a perfect characteristics, that God wants to build in me. (:

Praise God, for the discipline that taught me into my life.
Praise God, for yesterday marks a new starting in my life.

yesterday was a party, which marks a new start in my life. It's my birthday.
Okay let's see who has wished me happy birthday... :D

-Chris
-Guo Wei
-Gabriel
-Samuel
-Roniel
-Jonathan
-Terrence
-Shaun Tan
-Shawn Lim
-Justin
-Zero
-Xiu Juan
-Tammie
-Robyn
-Jia Ling
-Adelia
-Nelson
-Tammy
-Wanyan
-Howard
-Ziyang
-Kenji
-Cheryl
-Zaki
-Wen Rou
-Lee Huang
-Lydia
-Rachel
-Ian
-my elder brother
-my younger sister
-both my parents
-Jonathan, someone who I know from NDP and same church as me.
-Colleen and the deaf ministry
-Jaryl
-Ayu

from my cca side.
-Shi Pei was the first. (:
-Clarice
-JQ
-Hannah
-Marcus
-Jian Yang
-Xin Yu
-Shawn
-Joshua

The sweets that was dropped from heaven...
oops I mean, pinata, was being shared. I finally understand - good things are meant to share. (: :D
well, I missed that place as I walked away. But I chose to, and I did not regret - that's me.

thank you all, all my dear friends.
thank you Lord, for all my family members, my buddies and friends in my life. (:

my three wishes.
Dear Lord Jesus, I hope to find a wife-to-be to celebrate my 21st birthday with me.
A future career, that leads me far and allows me to earn a decent amount for my future family.
People all around sees you! Have their salvations every moments, especially my family. (:

God bless you all. (:

2008-08-29T09:15:00.003+08:00

I was being screwed by one of my favourite patients's relatives.

The feeling, wasnt good.

I was down there listening to their complaints - they slowly turned the responsibilities and blames, I guess, towards me.

In my mind, I was changing my thoughts and was listening. The point is, keep on listening to her, my eyes with raised brows - and this particular daughter of my patient said, I dun care.

I cannot care much and I dunno where to care; I just came to work and didn't even have report. I was about to check updates and talk to patients, everything came to me.
On the other hand, I was thinking how I put myself their shoes, and understanding how they feel.

Definitely, it's for me to reflect on the other hand.
How can I stand up as a nurse?
Patient wanted to discharge, as an nurse, I should stand up for my patient as an advocate.
The values that we learn as a nurse do not stop. It will lead me far... I guess? :D

But that was a good day, cos... it did not take away my laughter. (:

2008-06-07T12:20:00.002+08:00

Have something in mind, and finally came out already. woo.

I was watching My Guardian Angel, and was wondering what went wrong, during the process of a young diabetic patient during his growing years, and thanks be to God, I saw that.

The things that makes me happy is that, the teacher and the parents have never given up on that special child, but on the other hand, what saddens me is the teacher, who do not understand about the child, who has I ever thought, whether did he ever understand about this child, as an individual.

Busy, yes, the teachers do. Stressed, yes, the teachers do. But does the student isnt the same?

Was it ethically correct to discuss something about students in class, like their illnesses?
I doesnt want to write much about my emotions this time. (:

Was it the moment of folly of the teacher?
Was it an interesting subject for the teacher?
Was the teacher an insensitive or biased?
Was that teacher done what as a teacher has to do, and called as a teacher?
Was the teacher, neglecting what he has to fulfill in his plegde?

I'm a child of God and a nurse, but I wont be using the Commandments, nor the regulations of the nurses to place judgemental views on the teacher. But as a commoner, is it right for a teacher to say that?

Well, thank God for teachers at the end of the day, because they taught all the good things, and things that they missed for us to pick it up. (:

Praise God.(:

2008-02-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in life, felt like being someone else. It definitely easier. I wanted to be "Zai nan". But it's damn hard for a christian, but easy for a backslided christian - which something I don't wish it will happened to me.

I thank God, that I'm always see myself struggling myself.
I thank God, I am able to stand up because of Him.
Today's Psalms - Psalm 35.

It speaks about how prayers can work against enemies in our lives. The enemies are actually myself, my personal character. I suddenly find that prayers work powerfully in my life, and well, it turns my life totally. It just gives me a new and clear mind.

Especially today, I was really blessed by Him. Taking 52 to IMM for NP open cell, I dunno that bus no.52 can go there, and it stops at the back of IMM.
No need to walk so much and save transport fare. XD

God has really opened my eyes recently. Sharing of the open cell was also something for me to take home, where it really enlightens our souls, especially the part when Wayne shares about he is being called to be a Levite, as he asked God. But somehow he is confused. (: I did ask God can I actually joined the choir, and God gave me Dad's reply.

God has trained me for this moment in my life, exposing me to kids and becoming patient with them. How come I didnt have children?
What's in my mind these few days, are the offers of the Young Arrows. Beacuse God see that I do not really have the time ba, especially He showed me the part when I'm going to Army. He knows me well. (:

A lot of thoughts been going through. Tough and challenging, like in the parable of wheat and weeds. But you see, I can use God's prayer to go against the enemies. (:

Thank God for everything. (:

2008-01-15T23:59:00.005+08:00

Thank God today, guess it's something important that I learnt in NP open cell. Thank God for today's message that is shared, and the experience that Jasper and Wayne shared. (:
REally got blessed by what they shared, as brothers, and as family. (:
Aligning myself to Dad's vision, his dream and what he wants to do. I dunno why I need to do it, but most probably because it's a training, for the sons. (:
Following strictly, because being a leader, they have to follow the rules even more stricter. And hey if you are being scolded by Dad, thank God for it, because you are being considered as Dad's disciple, not a follower. The relationship make a difference. On the other hand, I am committed to this family. Thank God that I am in Dad's family. Other families, I guess I'm not suitable for other cells.

What could I say?
What could I do?
But offer this heart O God,
Completely to You.

Distractions from this world, certainly there is a lot, especially walking into society. This great gap of changing in my life, seems to be a challenge to me. I do have the will to choose this and that, but I'm still taking advices, dunno why. But I have always believed one thing, that everything is for my own good. As long as I am not dead, I will give thank to God. Even if I am dead, I will give thank to God. (:

“[The Children of Abraham] To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”- John 8:31-32

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.
Psalms 15

Don't you feel like going into God's sanctuary, or dwelling in His presence?

I thank God for Jesus. Yes, Jesus has died and resurrected. But He left something with us, that is Holy Spirit. Tearing the veil for us to seek Him.
David wanted that, but he was not given. God wanted to give us that, but how come some of us does not want it?
On the other hand, are you shining for Christ? Who can do all these?

No one, not even David. Yet, everyone should keep seeking, building relationship with Him and others, because it's a privilege.
Having brothers and sisters around are also a privilege.
But do we actually treasure them?
Or just a sunday-concern and monday-dunno thing?

He who does these things
will never be shaken.
Do look at a bigger picture of this verse. Why one will do it, when they love the people around, and protect them?
Because they are people who hold one thing that God taught them - Love, that had stemmed into them, deep. (:
So it's Love between the relationship of God and man, allows one to dwells in His presence, when the heart of the son turn to the father. (:

Praise God. (:
Thank God for everything.

2008-01-15T23:59:00.003+08:00

Thank God for today. Just felt funny if I dun do my devotions, something lack in me.

2 The LORD looks down from heaven
on the sons of men
to see if there are any who understand,
any who seek God.
3 All have turned aside,
they have together become corrupt;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.
Psalms 14.

Not even David who does good, even he seeks His Heart. SAd to say.
So in the end, most of us know how to seek God, do not does good.

Stressed by life...?
Definitely.
Distracted by television at home, I finally know the reason why I can't really do my work at home. Haha. Stressed is on my neck. Why?
Work is placed in front of me, but the television keeps distracting me, for that 4 useful hours. My Laws and Ethnics should be finished by now, but I failed to do so. Disappointed with myself. The computer is at the living room, my daddy says so, that's why. (:

But whatever so, thank God. Night is certainly not the time I can work.
Guess I am supposed to finish my work at the library then.

well, Stress come and find me today.
Be God like, I am trying.
Be a good son of daddy, I am trying.
Be a good student, I am really trying hard.
Be a good brother, I am trying.
Be a good friend, I am trying.
Be someone who obey God's words, I am trying.
Enjoying my work, I am trying.
Be someone who speaks truth, and being "quarantined" by them, still loving them and forgiving them, I am trying.
Be someone who tries to change my tardiness, I am trying.

More and more coming up!

EVeryday trying my best to be very best.
But what did I gained in the end? Nothing.
CAtching up my work is a must. And other parts of my life, it's also a must.
Hard and I am struggling, but I will give thanks to God.

But the point of this is, I give thanks to God, trying my best to give thanks.

This grumbling has already marked me as no good, but I still seek Him.
why? Because He loved me, and I want to be the best out of Him. (:
Heart break, nevermind.
Body wear off, nevermind.
Mental breakdown, nevermind.
I have nothing, except this special gift of life, the very breath that He breathed into me.

Everyone has their own struggles. (:
But let us commit it onto His hands.

What is Christianity to me? Is it a religion or relationship?
A relationship, not as in flexible as a stone, fixed like laws. Rather, it is something like water, no fomr, but can be added back, and it will keep increasing, unless you drink it. (:

Is there a satisfaction limit for me to seek You, my Lord? - I asked myself
It's not always enough, and it will never be enough, my Lord. - and I answered myself XD
Maybe I should do my devotion before I started my work.
Whatever that is, Praise GOd. (:

After all these stuffs, something will come.

7 Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!
When the LORD restores the fortunes of his people,
let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad!

Thanks be to God who leads us in triumphial procession!
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.
Let me set my eyes onto You, Hosanna in the Highest,
like the risen sun from the East lifted up high, contrasted out by light blue sky,
shining the golden rays onto me, like Your Glory shining into my eyes.

Praises onto You, my Heavenly Father. (:

2008-01-15T23:59:00.001+08:00

2008-01-15T23:58:00.004+08:00

I thank God today.
During cell, it reminded me about serving my heart and soul totally to Him, esepcially during devotions. And ya, my dear shawn didi, how's the prayer thing that you promised God that you will do, have you done it? (:

A lot of times, we want to be winners, and we kept running. But at the end of the day, do we actually run into the most safest place, that is into God's Arms? Or we are running too fast, to be a winner, and we miss God out?

I do, and I often kept running and meeting people and at the end of the day, I still need God to mould me and fill me. Breathing the air that He has breathed into me.

I found out today, even a relationship willl not work out, at least I am able to experience it, and at the end of the day, well, at least, I can learn and be a good boyfriend.
I want to be good boyfriend, that my girl will have fun, great romances with me, who is led by God and keeping the ourselves from sins. You see, I dun have any ex-girlfriend before, so I need some experience to be one. God can teach you, if you have one. (: A good husband and good father to my children. That is someone I want to be. Why?

Because at the end of the day, maybe I cant be a legend at the end of the day, but maybe I still can be a history maker for my girlfriend, my spouse and my children, in their hearts, telling them how God has changed me and the good things that God has used me to do for them, without any conditions, and it's all from Love. (:

How often we want the other partner to change, but things doesnt seem to work out, dun you think so? I finally understand, today that it's really God. Well, it's like I am the farmer, proclaiming His greatness and the necessities that He has blessed, and plant my vegetables. And the growth of my crops, left it to God, after I had believed Him and took the first step of trust, to hold onto Him.

MAybe there is a lot of "these" and "those" that distracted your life, but do have Him in your heart, knowing that it is Him.
Do you want to waste your time to give your best, even though you have to give it up?
Yes, I will. Like the sermons that Dad has given me, God is more interested in forming what we are than doing right will. A detour is God's will, sometimes. When all hell breaks loose, you maybe doing something right, but i hope I dun break loose. I just thank God for all the things that is in front of me. Maybe phrases and verses came to me, I still thank God,because He loves me, and never did He left me. (:
So do you give up on someone who is says no to church and does it griefs your heart? Certainly it does, for me and for the others.
But do we give them up? Nope.
Because

6 And the words of the LORD are flawless,
like silver refined in a furnace of clay,
purified seven times.
7 O LORD, you will keep us safe
and protect us from such people forever.

8 The wicked freely strut about
when what is vile is honored among men
Psalms 12: 6 to 8.

Silver is actually one of the best metals, so far. Purified seven times - represents victory, as the number of 7 represent victory.
After purifying 7 times, it should be at its purest state and able to reflect one's image, without stain.

Every word of the Lord, is pure, simple and reflective, and every word is its actions itself.
The Word of the Lord, carries victory in life.
And so, it makes His Words flawless - but why not perfect?
Because man is uncertain.
That's why David prayed that He will keep us safe, and David knows that the wicked will be roamed among men, if vile is honoured.

Do not allowed things that is unpleasant in the eyes of Lord, or things that displeased to be in His sight, otherwise the wicked in man will rise and snatch away your everything. Remember what the Lord has told you.
His Words are flawless, but your willingness make it perfect. (:

Remember, He is always watching you, loving you. (:

2008-01-15T23:58:00.003+08:00

I thank God that I hav such a great freedom in today.

Was being scolded by lecturer for being late for class and presentation, but still thank God, because I did made it in time for my presentation. Got scolded by my friends, and lecturers, it is still good, wasn't it? (:
It's a great start for my day. I thank God for that. (:

Though quite tired, still thank God, till the end of day, when work and everything went well. I thank God that I received praises from customers yesterday. Then today, I received a lot of smiles today, providing the best service, not only for the outlet, but most importantly, for God, being very best in performing my stuffs. (: At the end of the day, managed to get some to eat, to drink at my workplace, because they knew me and allow me to secretly, keke. (:
Not leftover, but fresh from fridge and oven, sometimes. Thank God.

19 Arise, O LORD, let not man triumph;
let the nations be judged in your presence.
20 Strike them with terror, O LORD;
let the nations know they are but men.
Selah
Psalms 9:19 to 20
18 defending the fatherless and the oppressed,
in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
Psalms 10: 18.

God reminded me of these verses, well I can say, I dun really understand.
Until now.

My first feeling is fear.
It tells us how great is our God.
Psalms 9 and 10 are supposed to be together, forming a psalm, rather than 2, in Hebrew.
Only one God. Putting down human's pride and strike them with His awe, and spreading the Word to the others, about defending the loved and weak ones in the heart of God.
He is the one who can TAKE IT ALL.
David called for Him in these few psalms, praising Him and asking for His Presence.
How do David felt when He was singing all these? Rested, assured, believed, trusted, alll emotions onto Him and David set his eyes upon Him.
Every psalm is something like a poem plus song, I think since David can do it, why not us do it too? (:
A king has no time to do it, I think we commoners, should have some. (:
anyway, praise God for all these. (:

Thank God for everything.

2008-01-15T23:58:00.001+08:00

What's in your blood?

Thank God for today, that He told me and asked me, "where's the powerful and childlike-faith Jimmy?"
And Amazing Grace, speaks of it.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
-Amazing Grace, Chris Tomlin.

My chains are gone and I been set free. It came to me, when I was reading Helen's devotions, speaks how much how an injection from skin, and the liquid went into the blood.
What's in my blood that is different from others?

Like what Shawn has written in his devotions "10 Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." -Psalms 10:10.
During the day, I was sad because my heart didnt really feel God. But I dun need to, because the difference between me and the others, is the very original thing personality that I have placed on Him.

I dunno, maybe I have been doing things that is been too stable, or not been broken enough to allow God to mould me, and change me. I realised I can do a lot of things, but at the end of day, I will gained nothing, because all I have been doing, is Work Of God, but not enjoying the Spirit of God.

Savior of the world You came & chose me
You breathed into my world & gave me life
You are placed above all that I love
I live to praise You God
I give you more
I sing forevermore

So I sing, sing, sing
You know You’re the reason
I dance, dance, dance
You brought me this freedom
To show the world my life has been turned around.
‘Cos I can’t help shouting
I’ve seen how You’ve changed me
When I was lost
You came and You saved me
I lift my voice in praise for eternity

Forevermore I give You all the praise
I live to know You more
Forevermore I give You all I have and all I am

Have you ever wondered that how come this song, at the end of this song, it's kinda boring where the "sing sing sing" and "dance dance dance" part repeated and no climax??

I do find the song kinda boring at the ending part, it's repeated and the "sing" and "dance" part has reached its climax. But during choir practice, I thank God that I realised the greatness of this song. I was lethargy after dancing for 4 songs. Yes, I know last 2 years they had done more, but yup, as I felt the weariness of my body, I began to dance and sing, doesnt care much about my body, shouting praise and dance, and in my mind, I said to myself, I will dance until I dropped down. (: God's revelation came. (:
Won't you want to sing repeatedly and kept dancing for the Lord, every dance is better than the one previously? and every word that is sang repeatedly become a more and more powerful praise to Him?
God used the practice to teach me, greatly. Certainly, I am blessed. (:
Choir may seems to be a thing, but everytime, I believe, as long as I am willing to make an effort to be there or some place, where God is, God can teach me. (: Like what He has said, " for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." - Psalms 10:10.
Well, no harm trying if you can afford the time and deliberately make a time out for Him, isn't that the case? He is able, WHEN YOU ARE AVAILABLE.

Well, if you missed that part, too bad for you! XD
Let us set our eyes upon Him. (:
I guess I have missed own part of myself, and the Devil tries to distracts me.
My very original personality, that is my child-like faith. Always trust in Him, and that actually makes my heart stays with Him. Who can make that?

And what's in your blood? (:
None other than Jesus. (:

Praise God. (:

2008-01-15T23:56:00.003+08:00

Thank God for today. Have a great time with a female colleague. She was supposed to be with her friend, but at the end of the day, her friend went away to get Donut Factory. City hall one was closed and her friend ran to get from Suntec. Her friend was actually getting for his brother. cool. (: So nice to see brothers' love. (:
Today was a great day. Done with my 1 man CPR, 2 men CPR, infant CPR and choking scenerios for adults and infants.

First time attempt for 1 man CPR failed, but it got better and passed for the 2nd time.
2 men CPR , first attempt failed due to my counting and my speech, and my dear male friend was there suffering with me, and finally the second time I passed. I thank God that, my very dear male friend is a christian too, and he endured with me. (: Sweet. (:
And my the others stations for get my Basic Cardiac Learning Skills to pass, by first attempts and it's by God's grace, definitely. (:

I thank God, because I hav actually came back to my very original self, like a kid. Guess that is the best way for me to learn, and I am actually 20 years old this year, hard to accept, but yup, I will still prefer to be like a child, and a young kid. (:

2 From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise [b]
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.
Psalms 8: 2.

And I was reading another side of my Bible, and the Lord showed me something. Matthew 2.
Those who stopped the childrens and infants from coming to God will die, and no place for the wicked.
Do not be the one who stopped others from coming to Christ.

Well, I felt like, myself is stopping me and maybe others getting towards Christ, and so He will kill me, my sinful self, to allow the others to follow Him. Thank God for it, was it? A death in myself to lead others to salvation. Destroy those who slowed down others' salvations towards Christ.

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
Psalms 8: 4.

Why is Him and what is it in Him that we are and we become so concerned about Him? Why do I care for Him?
Because He is Our FAther, He cares for us, and we love Him.
True, He has done great thing, but after all, His Love has actually enough for us, anything in our lives! (:

Thank God for today! (:

2008-01-15T23:56:00.001+08:00

Thank God for today and all and all.

I was blessed by Him, told that I need to improve on my friendship. Busy with my part time work, schoolwork after work, getting online, doing my work and devotions, and checking stuffs, that's all.

I'm certainly feeling dry inside, lack of friends, and losing most of the things in my life, except God's touch. Even things starts to turn around, why? Too much things on hand, still I thank God that I'm able to see that He's working, and wherever His Prescene will be, as long as I praise Him. Why is His Prescene there whenever I praise Him? I dunno. Still I Thank God He is always there for me, and yup, it just simply fills up my heart. (:

I begin to take steps to change my life, eevn in attitude of doing my work. I thank God that I can actually take up the responsibility for my BCLS, where I need to do CPR, after that passed, I can get a registered BCLS card, wee!

It seems to be simple, but controlling breathes and the strength of each chest compression was not easy. It's easy to be normal, but it's hard to be perfect, like Him. It's just simple to seek Him.

I thank God for Justin's devotions.
It's quite sometime, but still, I thank God, because I read it now, just in time. (:
"A double minded man is unstable in alll his ways." James 1:8
As I just begin to focus on God, I did realised a lot of changes in my life. More and more friends are being made, no more mental-like boundaries that I created for myself.
I confessed and I repented on my double-mindedness. It's all about Him. (:

14 He who is pregnant with evil
and conceives trouble gives birth to disillusionment.
15 He who digs a hole and scoops it out
falls into the pit he has made.

16 The trouble he causes recoils on himself;
his violence comes down on his own head.
Psalms 7: 14 to 16.
It comes to me that, it starts from us and it will end with us. Sounds like Karma though =//
Double mindedness, speaks how us wanted to hav the ways of ourselves, however it will not turn out the way it supposed to be, because it is not perfect, like God's way.

It wasn't a easy choice to choose to be single-minded towards Him, but I just believe Him,
and I trust in U, my Lord. (:
In my life, just before I typed this out, I wanted to walk out of Christianity, but what really holds me into this family is God, and my great families, especially the changes that in my life. (:
Temptation of the world is strong, but God is even stronger. (:

Well, isn't Him my Sheperd?
Praise God, in whatever and wherever I am! (:

2008-01-15T23:55:00.003+08:00

Thank God for today's cell.
It's somehow affirming, and it gives a clear idea of what ways I should seek the Lord, asking for His presence, and yup, just simply trust in Him.

Do I doubt God?
Certainly. I was thinking about that when I was waiting for the bus to go Dad's house, and well, I just simply trust the Lord will provide everything.
These few days, been seeking the Lord and found out that somehow, my heart, my soul and mind were not there.

Oh, before continuing that, I am sorry that I am late for the cell, because I had a lunch plus dinner at my workplace. Had actually make it specially for my female colleague. She was released late, and I took a very long time for me to reach that place. Shouldn't have done that:/, but still praise the Lord, because I learnt something. :)

I thank God that I realised and understand one thing. You can try all ways to seek Him. But He had said that, when one praise Him, He will come. Well, I do believe, because after the Word that is released by Dad, I realised, how tense I am seeking and doing lots of things to seek Him, and it's only at the end of the day, it is actually calling Him and sharing of the joy, that then He will come. Certainly I have put quite number of sad face through the week, and lesser, when it comes to praise.

Still thank God for today Psalms.
11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
12 For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous;
you surround them with your favor as with a shield.
Psalms 5: 11 to 12.

How come those who loves His name will rejoice?
It came out from each individual's spirit. For it is written:
6Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba,[a] Father." 7So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
Galatians 4: 6 to 7.

Each of us has a part of Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit in us is very sensitive to all things in the world. It's neither too hard nor too easy to identify the the Name of the Lord. IT's actually how sensitive are Holy SPirit inside to feel around. (:
The Holy spirit recognise the that it's our Father's name, thus we shall rejoice for we are being the heirs. Whatever He does now, it is a promise for us, as His heirs.
Does David has that?
I dunno, but it's always in David's spirit that God is a faithful God, even in times of doubts. (:

Praise God!

2008-01-15T23:55:00.001+08:00

I always thank God for what I am.
A growing boy into man, from someone who cant express, to someone who can reflect upon actions and slightly able to express more clearer, as compared to the past.

For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm of David
1 Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.
2 How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame [a] ?
How long will you love delusions and seek false gods [b] ?
Selah
3 Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;
the LORD will hear when I call to him.

4 In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
Selah

5 Offer right sacrifices
and trust in the LORD.

6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.

7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.

8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety. - Psalms 4.

From this Psalm, it speaks from Our God's heart. As David sings, doesnt he thinks of what he has done wrongly to Him, and how much it hurt Him?
Even when we are going to sleep, do we actually search our hearts, judging ourselves, for what we know we have done wrongly, in the eyes of His?
Put what is in your heart, most importantly and have the most priority, give it to Christ.

Thank God for this and thank God for that, but at the end of the day, yes we are running strong as winners, but do we actually found ourselves in God's love? And falling in love our sweet and dearest Heavenly Father?
That is why, David said this:
7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.
8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety
For there's no greater love and peace, things from the Earth can actually replace anything from David's heart. For Him alone, and only Him, David can lie and sleep in peace, for He comforts David's restless and fitful heart to a peaceful sleep.

For me, I have to confess that, well, my Love for Him wasn't deep enough. I believe this is one of the best conviction I have ever get, so far. (: STill, praise God!

He who touches your heart, only yearns for your Love and good behaviour. (:

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”- Micah 6:8

Gratefully loving, or plainly loving Him, after you know He loves you? (:

Praise God. (:

2008-01-15T23:54:00.001+08:00

It's been a few days after you started your Psalms reading?
Guess you should be at Psalms 2, while some may still stuck at someone. XD if you got what I mean.

Thank God for today.
There's always a sense of pride in me. I thank God for the Psalm 2 before food, because I almost forget to read it as I was hungry to get my lunch. Thank God my lecturers left the nursing laboratory late.

1 Why do the nations conspire
and the peoples plot in vain?
2 The kings of the earth take their stand
and the rulers gather together
against the LORD
and against his Anointed One. [b]
3 "Let us break their chains," they say,
"and throw off their fetters."

4 The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
the Lord scoffs at them.

5 Then he rebukes them in his anger
and terrifies them in his wrath, saying,

6 "I have installed my King [c]
on Zion, my holy hill."

7 I will proclaim the decree of the LORD :
He said to me, "You are my Son [d] ;
today I have become your Father. [e]

8 Ask of me,
and I will make the nations your inheritance,
the ends of the earth your possession.

9 You will rule them with an iron scepter [f] ;
you will dash them to pieces like pottery."

10 Therefore, you kings, be wise;
be warned, you rulers of the earth.

11 Serve the LORD with fear
and rejoice with trembling.

12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry
and you be destroyed in your way,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him.

My worst fear in staying in my class, is about class politics, where people try to think each other thinking and plot how to win people over, attract people into small groups. It really happens.
I just hope I am thinking too much.
Well, because of pride, and sometimes I was felt in that situation, I was thinking, am I His Anointed One in my class? I was hoping the Lord was doing what was on verse 3 and 4.
But, hey wasn't there only one Anointed One? Then and there I realised my pride.
Still, I thank God, because I realised I am like one of the kings on earth.
Being acknowledge as His son, I realised I am protected against all the plots, whether is human or Satan's, He has became Our Father who looked over my life.
I thank God I can be different from them. Though sometimes, they ignored me and forget me in class, and whatever, I have inheritance and have given the privilege to have iron scepter.
The iron scepter is just like the Wisdom amd Knowledge of Christ, given to me so that I can break people's pride humbly.
LAst but not least, at the end of the day, I still must kept myself free from sins, in order not to displease Him or make Him angry. Why? Because I have sinned today and yesterday, towards the sight of flesh.
Thus, whenever I was again led to temptation, I shall seek Him as my refuge. (:

Thank God for today.
Thank God, that I can concentrate on the lecture all the way.
Thank God, that I can share with you all. (:
Praise God, that I have overcome some part of my sins. (:

2008-01-15T23:53:00.004+08:00

2 Samuel 11.
David slept with Uriah's wife, and she was pregnant. David finds all way to kill his faithful servant. David done it but God was not pleased.

The Lord knows me well. (:
Distractions in my life, especially the weakest part in my life, relationship and lust. He knows a man, in no matter what circumstances, as long as it satisfy the heart and desire of man, a man will do it. To a man, what really satisfy them, is lust and relationship.
God was displeased with David, His Son, with sexual immorality and adultery.

This whole chapter speaks about me, very well. Seeking Him is the thing that we usually do, but often there are something that pop out in my life, to distract me and take me away. In this case, it's actually relationship. I thank God I am actually weak, that I am able to seek Him in desperate times, which we are supposed to do it all the time. Why are we supposed to do it this way?
Before God, who can give you a better idea and control your feelings, comfort you, to do all these? (:
I thank God that He used David to teach me about my life and in guiding me. I also want to thank Him, that He has always been so patient to me, everytime He is there, not to mention the others too. (:

Well, the story has not ended.
It's usually the desire of man let to undesired consequences, real bad consequences. But what can we actually do? Wrong already how?
Just seek Him and ask for forgiveness, and He will guide you. And do not commit adultery and sexual immorality. (:
Do not allow yourself to go into the first step of sins.
There are always distractions in life, but it's how strong that you will hold onto Lord, not only for better of yourself, but for Him. (: I dun want to short change myself and push away the blessings that He has promised me. (:
Do you know how God loves you? (:

Praise God!
And thank God for all the journey mercy yesterday and today. (:

2008-01-15T23:53:00.003+08:00

Thank God for today.

Well, I thank God for what Pastor had shared today.
Serving the nations. Our church has indeed ministered to a lot of cell groups, churchs in our nations. That create open doors. But how are we going to make open doors to other countries, to hear the Gospel?

Holy Spirit reminded me about this verse. I have read it before. I dunno what does that meant, until now. (:
10All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do. - Galatians 2: 10
The poor is certainly a way to open the door to other nations, not only to the churches.
That's the Word I received from God.
The year of Victory, had led me through a lot of victories in my life. In my studies, I began to put a the same amount of priority, just little lesser than family, and much lesser from God and His Works.
The year of Sabbath is indeed here, remaking and building of relationship, a time for us to endure, to win and to enjoy His peace and gladness, that is prepared for us. And now, I am awaiting for the Year of Jubilee.

26You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.
Galatians 3: 26 to 29.
1What I am saying is that as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate. 2He is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father. 3So also, when we were children, we were in slavery under the basic principles of the world. 4But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, 5to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. 6Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba,[a] Father." 7So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
Galatians 4: 1 to 7

Heirs, promised to have the inheritance of Abraham. Everyone has it, God promised it. Everyone is equal, God promises it. But What's the difference this time, is Our Father in Heaven, God - Holy Spirit. To set us free, to bring us from salvations and tells us about the secret of God, and what is His plannings.
We are heirs of God, promises that are on the way here, but sometimes doesn't we asked, why is it not here yet?
We need Holy Spirit to tell us. (:
And I thank God that He has set me free, from the last thing on the very last day, that is relationship, again. (:

Thank God for everything.

2008-01-15T23:53:00.001+08:00

Thank God for today, as I was seeking Him, how the debriefing should be done.
He asked me to read the Word, but before I seek Him and asked for a better way to become a better team leader, a better family member.

Seeking Him, is always the way seems to be right all the time, to improve ourselves and the relationship with Him.
Yet, this required very much of one's initiative.
What are the requirement for us to seek Him? As long as you are saved.

But when it comes to be a better team player, hardly anyone knows the rules, because everyone knows how to be a team player, but a better and even better one that always stick out helping hands, need to have something within themselves.

Is it possible for team players to become better?
Certainly, however they need to have self initiative, like how they seek the Lord.
"But why is it so necessary?" I asked Our Father in Heaven.

He showed me what am I thinking and reflections about what some of them has done during the meetings and the plannings of the event. I was actually finding all sort of reasons and the loopholes with their reasons provided, to eradicate their reasonings why they did not placed their priorities in this event. Well, I may seems to be empty on the spot and slow, I always thank God for the times where I meet Him privately, as Holy Spirit revealed the things to me. (:
Praise God.

Last thoughts came, when 12:30pm were coming. As a main organiser, do I have faults? Well, I do and I have a lot.
"So, who am I to say the others?", Holy Spirit asked me. He led me to back to my secondary school days, where my secondary 2 form teacher done it before she starts her lesson. A simple Icebreaker, that requires someone else to write about one's good/bad points. Everyone get to write one, and pass to someone next to him/her after finished.
She was new that time. Yup that is Cheryl Tan, and now guess she is Cheryl Goh, which is another story. (:

That was the point where I know, which areas of my life can change. Thank God for that game.(:
Well, that game, can be quite cruel, because of the facts that is so real, cold and hard. And the Lord, gave me these few verses.
3 "Prepare your shields, both large and small,
and march out for battle!
4 Harness the horses,
mount the steeds!
Take your positions
with helmets on!
Polish your spears,
put on your armor!
5 What do I see?
They are terrified,
they are retreating,
their warriors are defeated.
They flee in haste
without looking back,
and there is terror on every side,"
declares the LORD.

6 "The swift cannot flee
nor the strong escape.
In the north by the River Euphrates
they stumble and fall.
Jeremiah 46:1 to 6.

How much does these verses say?
Nothing much - Just press in. Like a warrior of Light, eradicating the evil armies, till they nowhere found on the land, or at least they have at least withdrew themselves about 300 steps. It's like pursuing the army, till they are faraway from us, fear from us.
Some of us are trying to change our characteristics, some maybe still at the same point, while some still do not know where to start. But no matter where we are, the Lord affirmed us, that we are going to win soon. (:

The Lord told me, "affirm them, and lead them into this."
It also applied the same, as we are going to next year, press in and pursue our enemies till the ends of the world, erasing their existence.

It is okay without a common interest but it is not okay, without building a common interest, which most of the responsibilities lies on the team leader, and some on the members.
A good team player need to have guidelines and criterias to hang on to, obey to, and have to be taught how to be one too. Responsibility lies onto the one who give instruction - Team leader. What makes a powerful team player is self initiative - that speak the very same heart, way and attitude in seeking the Lord.

Thank God for everything. (:

2008-01-15T23:52:00.001+08:00

Thank God for the great few days I had. It
It was a ministering night for me, yesterday.

These few weeks, my heart was hardened. It wasn't the way that it should be.
How do I know that?

It's very easy. (:

My temper flares, which should not be that case.
My self desire and self centredness rise, which should not be that case.
While reading the Word, I found myself, half understood this and half understood that.
Towards the works of the others, and do I have even hav empathy? No.
He has given me a Word - Sheperd. But how much do I understand by that? Little.

Where does the word "sheperd" came from?
It came from candy cane, a usual Christmas sugar treat.
Have you ever wonder where does it comes from? (:

It actually symbolized the humble sheperds in their fields near Bethlehem, who were the first to receive the news, "unto you a Saviour is born."
What amazed me, is this, I saw the cane represents something else, in the hospital! It represents the SHEPERDS who were still guarding their sheep at late night.
IT is simply amazing! MAybe it's time for me to eat some candy canes also. (: People made it because it represents Him, the Good Sheperd, a.k.a, Jesus Christ. Well, Our Father in Heaven is definitely sweeter than any candy. (:

I thank God yesterday, because after being ministered by Holy Spirit, and Our Father, I realised what it is talking in this passage. I have asked myself the whole day and been thinking about it. But none came till after the moment I am being ministered by Christ. (:

11See what large letters I use as I write to you with my own hand!
12Those who want to make a good impression outwardly are trying to compel you to be circumcised. The only reason they do this is to avoid being persecuted for the cross of Christ. 13Not even those who are circumcised obey the law, yet they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your flesh. 14May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which[b] the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. 15Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation. 16Peace and mercy to all who follow this rule, even to the Israel of God.
Galatians 6:11 to 16.

I was like one of the Jews, asking others to be circumised, and looking good outwardly, trying my best to portray how Christ is in me,and showing others. Yes, something that is very true is that I am trying to run away from persecution of the Cross of Christ. And I hardly obey laws... but what's the Law?

14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."[b]
Galatians 5: 14.

What makes this new creation, in Jesus Christ, new from the others? How does Peace and Mercy came, from a King who despised sins?
That is Love.
The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowlegde and wisdom, but the Love of His is the growing process and building block in us. (:
If God, One who despised sins, will you think peace and mercy will come as there is not love? Certainly not.
Through Love came grace, and this entitled Peace and Mercy. (:
Ultimately, hope, faith and love, the greatest of these three is still Love. (: If all not done in Love, it is considered nothing.

8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast.
Since this gift of God is no by works and no one can boast about it, let us praise God! (:

Thank God for everything. (:

2007-12-12T00:16:00.001+08:00

1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Romans 12: 1 - 2 (The Message)

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”- Isaiah 7:14

Placing my life before God, and be a virgin. Pure in thoughts, pure in heart.
That's my definition of virgin. The world may said that a virgin, a person who has never had sexual intercourse, but that signify the pure body of what a person can offer to God.
It's hard, but can do it. Because we do have God.

Personally, I am being inspired by a lady. She is super straight type. Well, maybe she doesn't know how make decisions, management and planning, but at least she is sensitive and work on God's instructions. That was the best part of her. Because she is simple and straight, whenever she heard God's instruction, she will do it, though she struggles most of the time.

Thank God for her. (:

Galatians 2: 11 to 20 (NKJV)
Paul confronted Peter, for Peter is being in charge of God's ministry to Jews and led others to believe.
I said to Peter before them all, “If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you[b] compel Gentiles to live as Jews? Galations 2: 14b.
Paul was telling Peter that, there should not be diffference between Gentiles and Jews, though Jews are circumcised when Gentiles are not. Though so, Jews are like Gentiles, for they are circumcised by the faith in Christ, not by the works of the Laws. For the works of the Laws and judgements, bring death upon one's flesh.

BUT! BUT! BUT!
Why is it Peter?
Why not others?

Peter is the main in charge of the ministry of the Jews. As what we can see, Peter didn't correct what James has done, thus leading the others to wrong actions.
This leads me to some thoughts, and explain a bit more about why some of us still dun have spiritual children.
Are our lives actually align with God?
Well, I am not, I do have negative and violent thoughts. God is moulding me through Gkids. Tolerance, patient and control of my anger. Other parts of my life, like time management, priorities in life and most importantly, serving the poor, which is like everyone of us should be doing it, but not overdo it. (:
I sitll remember the others, telling me, "dun worry, God will provide you with children."
I am certainly assured by that! :D
And are you assured by someone who dunno how to take care of kids? :D

Well, sometimes I do felt like feeling proud if I got spiritual children when I am still like 20 to 23 yrs old, and got a few kids, because I do have something that I am younger, while others have only they are older! XD
But that is certainly something God did warned me, and Justin sent me this verse:
"Do you have a special talent? Are you better than someone else is at schoolwork? Or in sports?:)
Are you espcially attractive? You shouldn't try to deny your talents and abilities, but don't take the credits for then, either. Look at yourself realistically and thank God for making you just as you are. When you are given compliment, accept then graciously then pass them along- to Him. :)
What do you have that GOd hasn't given you?" 1 Corinthians 4:7."
This is the sweet ending that Justin gave, " Remember bro:, your talents are from God:)."
And that is very true, what we do have is Christ. And the characteristics that He build us up, it belongs to Him. We dun have anything because, our flesh has been died by judgement, during our salvations!
I thank God that, my brother came last week, and he is coming this week. Whether is he receiving Christ or not, I will leave it to God, because after all, it is Him who decides, and I will just walk through together with my brothers and my elder bro, with the family and with God. (:
Thank God who stopped the rain when I was walking home, from NUH.
Praise God. (:

2007-12-12T00:15:00.002+08:00

While walking home, I thank God that He hold onto the rain and allowed me to walk home. It's kinda interesting experience. It doesn't take long, like a 25 mintues brisk walk and at the end, I walked up ti my house.

Thank God for that walk, and thank God for the day.
It's because the walk today, I do have a better understanding what is the way of Life, how should we shine even better and brighter.

I was there using my handphone for its torchlight function, and I realised that the very white light shone away my fear of dark. The road is dark, like the complicated world we are living traps us in dark prison.
I thank God because the torchlight shone the dark road. It brings hope within my world.

The feeling is like taking the Bible, the Gospel, Light of the World in my hand, and shining onto Earth. Showing the light to those who live in the dark. What is the most thrilling thing is that, I am handling with the Gospel, like a miracle in my hands.
Oh ya, just in case I forgot. Thank God for making the prayers came true, because that friday was a morning shift, and I can make it for the meeting for the event.
That was the day that the cubicle( that consist of 8 beds.), has actually 4 patients discharged from hospital, praise the Lord! :)

I thank God that He renewed my mind abouts my broterhs and sisters. I confessed that sometimes I really got pissed by those who said me, this and that, while they are not practising. But still, I thank god because He allowed me to see that they all came and had said it for my own good.
I repent, and shall humble myself towards all.

Thank God, really.

6As for those who seemed to be important—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance—those men added nothing to my message. 7On the contrary, they saw that I had been entrusted with the task of preaching the gospel to the Gentiles,[a] just as Peter had been to the Jews.[b] 8For God, who was at work in the ministry of Peter as an apostle to the Jews, was also at work in my ministry as an apostle to the Gentiles. 9James, Peter[c] and John, those reputed to be pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me. They agreed that we should go to the Gentiles, and they to the Jews. 10All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.
Galatians 2: 6 to 10.

What are the things that are importants in your life?
Enjoyment? Sleep? Friends? Fun? Pleasure? Relationship?

Paul, James, John, Peter, Titus and Barnabas.
What makes these few people, who is called by God and called as the Righteous and Faithful, different from those who seems to be important externally?

Who made and gave Paul the strength to boost Christ even more? Was it those who is important externally, or those who remembered the poor and work in God's ministry?
God, and those who are around that trusted Him, and had their Faith in Him.

So who are the ones who has pursued Lord faithfully?
Not those who looked externally important.

There are times that is hard, but we are here to support each other, like whenever and whatever, God is always with you, and the hearts of the brothers, including me, will be with you.
I am accepted as an apostle by others who are faithful to Him.
Pursue Him to be one, and you will be one.
those reputed to be pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me.
Heal my heart and made it clean.
Open up my eyes and to the things unseens
Show me how to love like You, Have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause.
As I walked from Earth into eternally.

It's also applied the same when you looked for a spouse. Look for a mate that can leads you towards Christ, more and more. (:

“The LORD your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your own brothers. You must listen to him.”- Deuteronomy 18:15

Jia you wor, My brothers. (:
Pray Hard. (:

2007-12-12T00:15:00.001+08:00

First fruit and Grace.
What's the connection?

I thank God for today's of an special wedding. One taught me some things about relationship, while the other cover what the first one has taught me, and taught me in SOL. They are special, they are like parents to me.

Well, today's wedding, I do see how much God is in their lives, maybe not too much, but I do really see a big part of their lives are committed to God, believe to God and trust that God is their all.
Main priority = God, in their lives.
So, whatever that is conceived from their minds and faith, first thing that came to their minds was God. That part of their lives are real testimonies for others, even for me.
Through their marriage, it makes it clear to me, during the route of marriage, everything is being tested, whether the male or the female is being tested, they are all prepared by God before they are put together, to go forth, onto a relationship, courtship and then into marriage.

EVery thoughts, feelings, problems that came out probe to them, they will put it onto the Lord.
First fruits, that came from mind and heart, they will present to God.

Why God is so pleased to have fruits that firstly bear, either by plants or animals?
Because it's a sign that we honour Him, and placing Him as the first priority.
Thank God for today, even though I lost my ezlink and my idenfication card, I thank God about what He used Terence has told me, that we should not take grace for granted. I thank God because He tells me, it's alway by God's grace that I am able to get back my wallet, my belongings at the end of the day. Why??

It's all because of Him. :)
That is why, I can get back my stuffs, every card that I have, I didnt lose it. And everytime, my belongings managed to get back to me, safely, all cards are still in one piece.

So when my thoughts about returning those lost items, well, I have to pray hard.

9As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!
Galatians 1:9

Just believe what is written on the book, simply. :)
Thank God, He told me that. :)
9/12/2007

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”- John 15:5,8

As today's sermons talked about Holy Spirit, I thanked God for that and, I confessed that I fell asleep several times, at least once.

But today's message are towards one's spiritual side, about how Holy Spirit touches us, and the next thing is, how close is your relationship with God and willingness.

I thank God that I was able to see that He is a person during that time, I know of Holy Spirit, and it brings me more understanding towards others.

I can actually see that, as I reaches towards Him with desire, one can look beyond what is on earth, understand themselves even more, and be sensitive to all other things.
Sort of ownself jump out from own body and view things in others' shoes.

Thank God for today, because I didn't got my pay and my brother, he came today.
I thank God that I didnt got my pay because, I tends to overspend my money. So well, I have to look well on my pocket.
I thank God that my brother came today, because I have been praying for his salvation. Maybe he has not rededicated his life yet, but it has actually bring him out from the most negative side towards Christ a bit more.
Thank God for that.

9As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!
Galatians 1:9.

Being FAther's son, I do have the fear and scare that I followed the world.
What does "preaching other gospel other than Christ?"
Doing things that we shouldn't be doing, and others, especially giving out the wrong message about Christ.

Be careful. Whenever you want to preach, do put across what it is and clearly to others.

Praise God. :)
And thank God for my everything, so far.

I'm following the son.
He's the Holy One, let Your Will be done,
I give it all to You.

2007-12-12T00:14:00.001+08:00

Let loose of myself towards all discipline.
That is what I have been doing for the past few months. But what's the difference this time?

I used to let myself to be controlled by my own thoughts and own reasonings. Ultimately, realised I am self satisfactory, I can't apply the things I learnt to teach others, in broader areas.

Practical faith doesnt exist, as I saw one of my friends' nickname in msn.
You are working towards something you wish to achieve and kick away. After months of trying, you seems to achieve it due to your own reasonings and subjective towards others' views. But when you reached that goal, how are you going to maintain it?
How are you going to keep on growing, without Him?
What's the difference between a prayer, who you seek Him and asked for when you are weak, and a reason that you kept yourself not to sin?

Why do I let loose of myself this time from all discipline?
Due to the past, when that time, all that I had done was just to please the eyes of the man, not to please the eyes of God. A reason for me to abstain usual bad habits. And this time, I let loose of myself from all discipline, beacuse I found out that those reasons that I used to abstain from sins and temptations, are nothing but theory. The strength dies off, as soon as you are able to meet that criteria.
But as I set myself and pray towards Christ, I do realised that I need to keep on going, and He will stand and walk with me, I lay all my weaknesses down on Him. As He shows me He is the reason that I should abstain from all temptations, that's where my real struggles in life begins.

During the time I was using reasons to abstain sins, I do expect something good back.
But this time, when I set my heart towards Christ, I do not expect anything.

My weaknesses is exposed once and again, but He is always there for me.
He will tell me," Hey son, I guess you fall again."
"But dun worry, let us try again."
"And son, you need to guard your part of that life even stronger."
Our Dear Father in Heaven, thank You for Your Love. You raised me up.

It is the same in the studies. I used to study because I like it and it's my passion. But when everything dies off, you know that you will have to just hang onto there and keep going. When you set your heart and mind towards Him, He will be your standard.

Holy, You are Holy.
All my life I give it to You,
'Cos Your Holiness is all I desire,
You're all I desire, my Lord.

Nick doesnt use any ways to change himself. All that he has done, is to just trust and believe, what is written within the Bible. And the Lord leads me to John 11: 25:
25Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

Do you actually simply first trust, and then believe? (:
Or are you let Martha, only knows Him? (:

2007-12-12T00:12:00.000+08:00

A long day of work, with babies crying and yup, other stuffs.
What really please my heart, was that God provide me a chance to bless one of my sisters, someone who I wanted to bless very long.
A special christmas gift, given by ideas from Christ, and I made the effort to walk out of the rain, tha special effort. God blessed me with food today by my friend.
What's so special?

God sees the effort that I saved money to get someone a gift, and blessed me with someone's food, that she find it too much and shared with me. May sounds like it's leftover, but it's really real lots, like the whole pack didn't eat.

Well, with that and the rest of the money I have and coming to have, I can save up more.
Thank God for the food, and the money saved.
I want to confess a lot of things.
I am an accomplice of killing a dragonfly. Thank God I didn't go and see how it was tortured by my colleagues, because if I go, I will kill it, instead of letting my friends doing it.
Still, I thank God, because my heart is changing, from doing bad feeling good, to doing bad felt guilty and bad.

Well, thank God. Because I won't like myself to do it again, and my friends to do it in front of me.
Now, repenting.
I thank God one of Justin's devotions.
MAtthew 7:12.
Do for others what you would like then to do for you.

I will like others to do lots of God to others.
“Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”- John 10:7, 9-10

10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
1 Galatians 1: 10

It was very same. At the start, should we catch the dragonfly at the start?
I do not think so. I dunno what's in my thoughts. I will just repent, because I know it was not right.
And thank God for all. (:

2007-12-05T01:37:00.001+08:00

I was there, listening to the baby's cries, as the simple child was being poked by a needle, for some special medication needs. My colleagues, especially one of my close friends, she was there, dun want to see, felt like crying and said dun feel like doing it anymore.
She was lying her forehead on my shoulder, and I said,
"let's go out."

That baby was only 22 days old. The mother heard the crying of the child, was standing outside there, with red swollen eyes and nose - presymptoms of crying. And I was asking her whether is she okay or not. Her frustration was vented on me slightly, saying "Don't ask me whether okay or not!"
I was there, saw a nures came out and asked her whether want to go and get a tissue for her. Well, she didn't say much, and I went ahead with my action, going to that mother with a tissue.

Out of expected, the mother rejected the tissue and don't care about anything, saying, " I do not need, go away."

Ahh... shucks. Of course I don't like that.
I was wondering,
Did I do anything wrong?
Why did I smile to the mother, when I was walking out of the room and that mother was waiting outisde?
And why is my heart felt that way instead of feeling the heart pain?

Holy Spirit asked me this, Don't feel heart break when you heard the sound of the crying baby?
I was asking myself, why should I felt a heartbreak?
I believe it's necessary for the baby to have that needle because, without that the baby can't recovered. Is my heart being hardened?
And the cries of the baby, this time, shaken my heart slightly. I looked into her eyes, and my heart was was there and shaken once again, saying it is necessary for her to recover.
I was smiling there, knowing that the baby will recover and hoping that my smile will not worsen the day of the mother.
Her current suffering is little in my heart, but her recovery and better state of her was my greatest joy. :)
That was my thoughts.

Sometimes, things that we are doing may seems wrong, well God make the wrongs to be right most the time. Wrong things at right timing, seems to be the best.
Another thing is, He did told us, but we didn't listen to Him.
Well, it makes things that seems to be logically right, well, is it right for the correct standard of God?

God reveals slowly to me about empathy, which I seems to miss out. I confessed and I repent.
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”- John 8:12
My God, my light, lead my heart to you. :)

6I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! 9As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned! Galatians 1: 6 to 9

Nick speaks of the simplicity of Bible. So does here.
A powerful testimony was shared. Simple, no sophisticated words. Just some simple language.
Like how Christ shared simple knowledge to the children and adults, before He shared the bread and fish of the child to feed the thousands.
Nothing is more stronger for Holy Spirit to work on weakness. (:
My weaknesses are submitted to Him, for me to go towards His standard of perfection.

11Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Corinthians 13: 11.

thank God for everything.

Edited*

Today, I need to repent on another thing, that is my disbelief.
Power in prayers come when one believes it's powerful.
Not only beliefs, but believing it will become powerful, more than what it is.

I confessed and repent.

2007-12-05T01:36:00.003+08:00

“Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.”- John 6:35

I was there struggling with my wicked anger. Sins and lots of evil thoughts, of playing humans. Lust falls in. Homosexualism also fall in. That's the very truth and deep that came from my thoughts.

I confessed and I repented. It was somehow like morning, "Oh Lord, I am weak.
Can you set me free from temptations and sinds, my Lord?"

Taking the first step to submit it to God, making Him my bread was the best thing for my day. I thank God that I was filled by Him, whether is it when I was tired or not. well, every moment today in attachment, was an impossilbe thing that He worked out for me today in my life. (:
Thank God, otherwise, I can't change much without seeing it, and sensing it by Holy Spirit, I am still the same old self.
MY weakness, will turn into a testimony, for the weak to hear.

5Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? 6And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test. 7Now we pray to God that you will not do anything wrong. Not that people will see that we have stood the test but that you will do what is right even though we may seem to have failed. 8For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth.

Was it unable overcoming temptations and fall into sins, a failing of the test?
It is, on the other hand, seek for Christ, to ask Him to stand with you. Because without Him, without Holy Spirit, it is totally impossible to fight, or overcome your sins.
Often, whenever I sinned, I choose to sin, that is not Jesus Christ but me, sinning against Him. If it's Him, He won't do that.
So, what does it means, when we sinned?
It makes us a sinner, if we dun repent. Does we continued to sin? No. For Jesus Christ does not do that. If you said He does, it's because you wanted. But at the end of the day, He didn't sin but you.

That is the Truth. He may do not anything beneficial for you, but necessary for you.

So, just trust in Him. :)
Praise God...!

2007-12-05T01:36:00.001+08:00

Today, everything was great.
Band practice, time with others like lunch, and things went the best, especially in cell, dinner and shopping!

Been a long day, and thank God for today's cell message, it sets me free about my thoughts with Our Father in Heaven.
Thank God that the guitar hit the floor, to wake me up from falling asleep.

Busying these few days with work, and next thing coming up is attachment! Going back to hospital, how it seems to be and like...

I thank God for the close relationship that I have with the younger ones in the family, and having a great fellowship with the older ones. XD.

Lots and lots. But thank God, for the coming dinner tomoro, because it will be a family gathering for my family and me. Guess tomoro will be an enjoyable day. (:

Thank God who leads me away from temptations. thought somehow yesterday I fell into the sight of lust. Confessing now and repent. (:

Thank God for cell today. Nicks speaks about his life, a pure testimony that really inspired me.
What is trust and believe, and the real gift in my life.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”- John 1:1-2, 14

The Word that I learnt from the Book written in Love(Bible), has become flesh, part of me. :)

"Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses."[a] 2I already gave you a warning when I was with you the second time. I now repeat it while absent: On my return I will not spare those who sinned earlier or any of the others, 3since you are demanding proof that Christ is speaking through me. He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you.
2 Corinthians 13: 2 to 3.

What are the things you think God speaks into your life?
Do you believe them?

IT came to me this:
"Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses"
If you are not sure, ask someone to pray with you, prophecises to you. This will certainly ensures what God really want to speak to you. Even clearer, than ever.
Do not listen to one sided story, because it may not be true, becaus humans has feelings over it, and maybe prejudiced to that person. Because it is said,"One witness is not enough to convict a man accused of any crime or offense he may have committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses."

Praise God. :)

2007-12-05T01:35:00.003+08:00

Facing the world and becoming like them, is too easy.
Stepping into any hole, which is created by Satan and fall deep into it without realised it was too easy for a man who walked blindly on way of his daily life.
Wasn't it a pity to see that man, blinded?

Well, today I did stepped onto a hole, set by Satan.

"Life is like a drama, I am part of it, and even you are acting too." My colleague told me while I was changing my shirt, making hair. I was irritated.
My friend was telling me, "our lives is like a puppet, after using, God can just cut off the strings, poof that, there goes your life..".
Of course, things may seems to be that. But my mind was, what about afterlife?
It challenged me.

I confessed and repented. My thoughts, went astray, real astray. Using the ways of the World to teach people, to have a hardened heart to deal with other things.
But God showed me something in this very colleague of mine. He may seems to be kind dumb,(sorry if I offended you), he is persevering, and he is super "mouldable". How people laugh him, scold him (even if he cries), and ya, things over and over bullying him, making him under pressure, he will just left the place and came back with a smile on the other day, with worries on yesterday, happiness and smiles on the present day.
Well, thank God, that he helped me clear the side plates that is required for the next day, and that showed something that is very different, how am I going to spike the deep him within and make full use of it in Christ?
Praying will be the best first step. His help in my life, from this moment, make a difference in my life. Well, there are thoughts for me to leave my current workplace, but he will be part of the reasons that I should not leave the place. (:

Would you believe me, would you listen if I told you that
There is a love that makes the way, it never holds you back

Who would have thought that God would give his one and only Son
Taken a stand upon the cross to show his perfect love

So would you break free, would you break free get up and dance, in His love

Chorus
His love never ends, yeah.
There's no escaping the truth, there's no mistaking its you
God forever we'll get up and dance, get up and dance and praise you
There's no escaping your love, there's no mistaking your light
Across the world we will get up and dance, get up and dance and praise you

Now is the time to take this freedom that has come our way
Offer our lives to see the glory of His name

Never all our days
We are holy Lord, holding onto all your ways
We are holding on, holding on to all you've said and you've done
We are holding on to your love
Now we will dance
Break Free - Hillsong.

Break free from the World and drown in His Love. Let us dance! (:

But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives”- 2 Peter 3:10-11

1I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. 5I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.
2 Corinthians 12: 1 to 5.

Why do Paul choose to say, boast?
To spread the news and all about Christ, and things that he has done supernatural. So, we can just tell ma, no need to boast.
Well, it's supernatural things, which is impossible happened to us. Deep within our conscience, it did happened to us, supernaturally. The way that we used to tell the others is by mouth, did not went through exaggarating words or anything. Just words, what He has done, and what we have went through.
Boast, because the world thinks that we are boasting, beacuse all things that He done is supernatural, for those who didnt know Christ, know these kind of things couldn't have happened. Certainly it's exaggarating.

Well, it's all so true, because He really is around us and work with us. (:

Praise God! :)
Thank God for today.

2007-12-05T01:35:00.001+08:00

Thank God, for what I have now.

Maybe I may seems to be an open and free man, but there's a lot of the things, haiz, I am quite slacked too, and trying to change.

I do need a soft heart, on the other hand, I need a clear heart, about the things I done and all that I need, is to listen to God.

It's not easy and it's not fun to do it too. Clear all distractions and it takes me away, free from all things.

He is the way. That's all. (:
And my families, here I am to make you success. (:

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever.”- Psalm 136:1,26

7Now we pray to God that you will not do anything wrong. Not that people will see that we have stood the test but that you will do what is right even though we may seem to have failed. 8For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. 9We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection.
2 Corinthians 12: 7 to 9
Specifically, precision and perfection.
CAn't do anything much to lead that person to Christ?
Too bad.
Can't help anything much?
Too bad.
EVerything seems to be fading away.

Prayers can stop the truth, that everything is fading away.
Prayers are perfections because they are precise,
Praying is for weaklings for us to do, like me.
A short story to share.
One waiter was actually cleaning his glasses and preparing to put them somewhere. But a slip of hand, he dropped one glass. Although this happened, he still thank God.Then when he want to put the other glasses, everything falls off. Out of 20 glasses, 7 was left. He still thank God, for a lesson about his clumsy.
He prayed for the first time, a glass was being saved.
While clearing up, he prayed, second glass was being saved.
Well thank God for this guy.Cos, at the end of the day, a lesson is learnt and God listened to your prayers, and everytime you talk to Him leh... :)
He answered my prayers on time, and He showed me another thing, He is beside me. (:
There will be no ,"if He is not beside, you."
Thank God for everything. (:

2007-12-05T01:34:00.003+08:00

God is good all the time, wasn't Him? :)

Certainly, He is. Today, though I didn't really do well in my test, or maybe I can say I am going to flunk it, and though it's hard to feel good, thank God, not because I, but Him who pushes me through and talked to me with a clear mind.
Eh, this time yes, though it's only 3 tests, my anxiety was there, and seriously, I was quite disappointed with myself that I didn't study, or maybe I did, just that I let down my guard, and not studying. Certainly there are voices asked me not to study, but at the end, I choose not to study. What can I do then?
Just prepare myself towards everything, that is possible, and thank God for all, especially moments that He speaks to me. (:
I am certainly tired, but my day hasn't ended yet. (:
More to come... :D

What taught to me daily, it's actually God's grace and how wisely God has taught me and how I can learn. He taught me slowly and know when it's the best time and opportunity to strike. All we have to do is just wait and strike on the specific spot, where one is weakened and we can either gain control of taht person or situation. Just hear careful when He said you can strike. (:
Make sure, you think what God wants you to do only, no more. (:

11I have made a fool of myself, but you drove me to it. I ought to have been commended by you, for I am not in the least inferior to the "super-apostles," even though I am nothing. 12The things that mark an apostle—signs, wonders and miracles—were done among you with great perseverance. 13How were you inferior to the other churches, except that I was never a burden to you? Forgive me this wrong!
2 Corinthians 12: 11 to 13.

I was actually thinking about this, 'except that I was never a burden to you? Forgive me this wrong!'.
I thanked God for telling me this. Was He a burden in my life?
I confessed about this. I want to listen to Him at every moment of my life, and listen to worship and how people inspired, just with songs, and reflecting abou my life... (:
I thank God it appeared to me and truthfully, yes I do feel it sometimes.
I want to jio(chase after) this girl.
Going through the church procedures, it's so stupid and long.

All and all. What strikes me and continue to serve Him, was His faithfulness, Love and all that He has, because whatever I want, it's not the best, because it's what I want.

SO yup thanks God. So much. Hees (:

2007-12-05T01:34:00.001+08:00

A long day down the road, another 5 hours of sleep for me today. Thank God today, because He woke me up with a thunderstorm, with thunder as my alarm clock.
Thank God today, though I sinned against Him, lust of flesh again.
What did I learnt?

Though sinned, I did repented. This is what God told me.
Sin, we must make sure we do look out. On the other hand, we do look for things that is good and glory to Christ. It's what that is in front of us, that is our goals, make us motivated. He told me through my dreams.
What does a guy do when they saw girls with mini skirts on the escalators? Looking at it is what usually happened.
In my dreams, a girl was sitting like with her legs up upon a glass door. What happened is that I stand at the glass there, covering up. I was astonished, by what God has showed me. The dreams came from a heart, and show what is deep within my conscience.

I thank God for that, because indeed I have changed one of my faults, my weaknesses in my life.
Thank God. I didn't done my best yet, cos I did peep in my dreams. However, I will work towards it.(:

Thank God for today's dinner, and my real daddy.
Waited for my daddy to come home and go out together with family for dinner. I believed my dad has tried his best to rush home and changed, but at the end of the day, he didn't went out with us. I do felt his disappointment and greeted him goodbye with a kiss on his cheek, asked him not to be angry. Why will he be angry?
Can be a lot of reasons. in my mind, I thought at the start, it was a mistake for him to come along. It may seems to be that case, but of course within my heart, I do have the disappointment within myself to think that way.
After all, I still thank God, because I do treasure this very Daddy of mine, and each Daddy I have, because it's them, made a difference in my life. They do it, because all for Love. (:
When I reached my bro's car(it's rented), I was telling about how my dad feels. Well maybe I am his son, that's why I understand his feeling. My tears wanted to roll down, but I held onto it.
Well if that was me, I will do the same.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.”- Colossians 3:16

6Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say. 7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12: 6 to 10.
So, in tough times, when sins and temptations come, it's actually the messenger of Satan that brought that along.
What if we are facing Satan Himself? Do you actually have the fear?
And fear, reminds me of yesterday, of how I have actually walked through dark, silent and lonely road. I bit onto my fear and called upon the name of Lord, while listening to worship, allowing god to eradicate this fear of mine in the dark road.
What is my fear?
Dark, and loneliness.

At times, when Satan visits me, I can say no about fearing him, though my heart says otherwise. But whether is it so, God is good all the time, and He is with us all the time. (:

Praise God. :)

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2007-12-05T01:33:00.004+08:00

Thank God for the great time that I spent recently.
Studies, with friends, sharing my life experience with someone else. All, cannot compared to the time I spent with Him.
Sorry about not writing devotions yesterday, because I chose to not to write and going to sleep, around 3 but sharing my life experience and a tiny bit of Christ with her, in msn. Just from yesterday, I began to see my priorities in my life. and well, I am changing my priorities slowly, adapting to the new found christ in me. (:

This time, there's a new born in Christ within myself, an new salvation for me. It began, where a part of my life, building up my basic stuffs like management, priorities in life, weighing circumstances and situations. I am trying to reaching to His standard, you see. (:

The renewing within myself begins as a slow process. Ultimately it starts off with a heart.
Today, as the sermons talked about Eternal life.
Yes, salvation is important, and it's the first step.
But remember that is the first step, and that will mean you need a lot of other steps to reach your destination.

23Someone asked him, "Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?"
He said to them,24"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. 25Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.'
"But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from.'
Luke 13: 23 to 25.

I also thank God for one thing, that is clearing all the emotions about relationships in my heart. There are a lot of unclear doubts, yet I believe most of them are lies. For He has warned me this:
13For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. 14And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. 15It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.
2 Corinthians 11: 13 to 15.
It makes so blur, and I finally understand one thing.
Sometimes, God uses songs to encourage people.
Satan like to lie.
What's the link? Do check your heart about what God wants you to do actually. He wants you to do that specific thing and you better complete it. And those things that are after His voices, like our thoughts, put it aside, because He only asked us to do one specific thing. That's all. (:
As it clears my heart from all those relationship stuffs, whether is it now or the past, my heart seems to be clearer and able to hear that bit more. I didn't choose to give up on all those relationship stuffs, but I chose to leave it to God and walk with Him, taking my time to pick my type. (:
21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
Revelations 3: 21 to 22

2 Corinthians 12: 16 to 33.
20In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or pushes himself forward or slaps you in the face. 21To my shame I admit that we were too weak for that!
In times, i do have weaknesses and others see it, well, some of course will laugh. Though so I will do one thing.
I will eventually left a grin at their back.
30If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. 31The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever, knows that I am not lying. 32In Damascus the governor under King Aretas had the city of the Damascenes guarded in order to arrest me. 33But I was lowered in a basket from a window in the wall and slipped through his hands.
In bad circumstances, maybe I am weak, yet the fact I'm protected. Things doesn't seems to be so bad, because I can learn.
The very fact that Christ hanged on the Cross, that He may seems to be weak, is to complete the task that is given. And that saves you at the end of your life. He can come down, but He doesn't want to, so that He can get the key of life from Satan.
2 Corinthians 12:9
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Show your vunerabilities to your families. So that we can guard your back with God. (:
Let us know, don't be selfish. (:

Thank God for everyday! XD

2007-12-05T01:33:00.003+08:00

Felt bad today, because I had actually forsaken God for one of the temptations that I am facing, that is relationship. I do realised that there is a dryness in me, and it's only through encouragements and the care from the people around me, and ya, thank God for them.

"Are you a full timer?"
"No, part time."
"Your service is very good."
"Thank You." *Smiles*
This customer, actually came before, and back to try something else.
The very fact that I got so delighted by an encouragement from a customer, it made me recognising the dryness within. This dryness is usually replaced by the worship songs from my mp3, but recently my mp3 ran out of battery, and I was busy rushing from my home to work. The encouragement, is also from God, who saves me everyday. (:

Secondly, it kinda makes me sad when I like pre-believer.
Well, there is my type of gal, and I kinda like her. On the other hand, she's a pre-believer. Too bad. The distance, physical wise, it seems to be near. However, in other circumstances, our distance seems to be so far away from each other.

Eh, this kind of "liking" feeling is something like a crush, which is not good. I am attracted to her because of EROS, which is like, attracted to her by physical looks, which is not even something at all, as compared to Love. And yet, when this question, "who will choose, Me or her, at the end of the day?", that God had asked me, disappointing enough, I chose to forsake God.

I confessed and I repented during the way to take bus home. I really hope that I will not become either of the basketball boys just left after God and Dad have done some good and makes me grow, and even like Peter. I want to be someone who is better, and not lacking of God, Dad and the families that I have.

Another thing came to my mind, as I reflect and read Dad's devotions
Till I read Dad's devotions, one sentence came to me.
"As much as it was my desire to see him become an officer, for all the glory and honor of it, the whole experience brought me to another question - a very important one: 'what do you want to get out from your 2 years in military?' "
Certainly this is long enough, but this is a sentence, no fullstops. (:

What do I want at the end of the time, and what is my relationship with God, and what is my relationship with God is based on and built with?
Was it something so weak, so easily to falter?
And... am I working towards what I aim for?

I want my relationship with God is good, at all times.
I want all the people to be saved at the end of the time.
But this relationship that is built with Him, is based on... I do not know how to answer this question.
5 For I consider that I am not at all inferior to the most eminent apostles. 6 Even though I am untrained in speech, yet I am not in knowledge. But we have been thoroughly manifested[b] among you in all things.
7 Did I commit sin in humbling myself that you might be exalted, because I preached the gospel of God to you free of charge? 8 I robbed other churches, taking wages from them to minister to you. 9 And when I was present with you, and in need, I was a burden to no one, for what I lacked the brethren who came from Macedonia supplied. And in everything I kept myself from being burdensome to you, and so I will keep myself. 10 As the truth of Christ is in me, no one shall stop me from this boasting in the regions of Achaia. 11 Why? Because I do not love you? God knows!
12 But what I do, I will also continue to do, that I may cut off the opportunity from those who desire an opportunity to be regarded just as we are in the things of which they boast. 13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. 14 And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.
2 Corinthians 11: 5 to 15 (NKJV)

I was looking and reflecting about these verses, and to understand the revelations that God gives Paul and what really hold Paul to be so long in ministries.
It can be a lots, but what really holds Paul in Christ, is to spead the good news. His relationship is built on His faithfulness towards Paul, especially in times, when God gave Paul grace in the earlier days.
Paul built his relationship with God based on one thing, that is Paul saw that He loves his people, providing the optimal level of godly love. Godly love is something special from us.
That will be my foundation - Godly Love. (:
I will work from there, going towards my life in reaching His people. (:

“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.”- Psalm 100:4-5

After all,
Thank God for this great revelation today. (:
and Everyday. (:

2007-12-05T01:33:00.001+08:00

Well, thank God for today. Really.

First time in my working place, I got actually split off the cup from me. Well the customers didn't go it, but the seats do. Thank God, because it's my first time. Before that, I hit my customer with a wooden tray, lightly, and twice. How careless am I!

Wait, did I say "careless"?
Thank God for that, because without that, I cannot realised how rough is my work.
I thank God for today, I faced my fear in my work, and I bit on it. I remained cool, and continued to work, but what really pissed me off is actually the one who is working with me. But still, because of him, I thank God to allow me to have the chance to learn to be faster to wipe the menus and seasoning trays.

It's also today, I begin to be super dependent on Him. It's really super.
My worry started when I was at CityLink, that I might not do well in my work for today, cos it's like, my skills just got rusty. First thing came to my mind, with a familiar soft and gentle voice, was "Just pray and believe that God will be the one who is taking control it." After praying, immediately felt the effects. Thank God for allowing me to be so sensitive towards my emotions and able to commit to Him. (:

Thank God, I bit on my fear after spill off a cup of water. I thank God because, my face did not change quite a lot, and fortunately, it pushed me to my limit. Praise Him. Able to maintain the smile in my work and everything. PRaise Him!
Thank God for today, because I went to meet my sister in my school. Yes, no doubt, it's Ngee Ann Polytechnic. I was asking myself, how can I make a difference in my life today, and it's by meeting my sister. Felt nothing much, except the joy of meeting her in school, to be able to see her and her friends in school. It's kinda special, because it seems wonderful and I was rushing all the way up, dun care about my friends even though I saw them, didnt even bother to say "hi". I am not supposed to harden my heart when I saw that group of friends, but I just dun care and run all the way up (108 or 78 steps) of stairs.
Seeing that she is having a great lunch, it just pleases my heart. (:
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”- Colossians 3:15
I just want to confess it, and repent. Though maybe one of them in that group of friends dun like me, well I still have my choice to be nice to others. I thank God to allow me to see this, otherwise, I may never ever realise and fall into the trap of the Devil. All I want, is just a soft heart, to be sensitive to Him. (:

5 For I consider that I am not at all inferior to the most eminent apostles. 6 Even though I am untrained in speech, yet I am not in knowledge. But we have been thoroughly manifested[b] among you in all things.
7 Did I commit sin in humbling myself that you might be exalted, because I preached the gospel of God to you free of charge? 8 I robbed other churches, taking wages from them to minister to you. 9 And when I was present with you, and in need, I was a burden to no one, for what I lacked the brethren who came from Macedonia supplied. And in everything I kept myself from being burdensome to you, and so I will keep myself. 10 As the truth of Christ is in me, no one shall stop me from this boasting in the regions of Achaia. 11 Why? Because I do not love you? God knows!
12 But what I do, I will also continue to do, that I may cut off the opportunity from those who desire an opportunity to be regarded just as we are in the things of which they boast. 13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into apostles of Christ. 14 And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. 15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.
2 Corinthians 11: 5 to 15. (NKJV)

Will my end be according to what I am doing?
MAybe, I dunno. I just hope and pray what I am doing is not what a false prophet is doing.
But I believe these few days, God has been trying to help me to work out things in my life. (:
-Being disciplined in workplace to be able to stand alone.
-Taking the initiative to ask people around about what is happening
-Even though I am late for class like an hour, I will still make it for my class.
-To help others and to show care and concern that is needed and required.

And lots, it's all by God's grace. EVen at where I am now. I may be facing rejections and solitary, but God is good and He is there at all times. (:
Praise God.
The next thing I need to do, is to shine His Light from me! :)
Being different, and making a significant difference, not just a difference. :D That will give the others who is having idolatry, less chance to say that they are great, and another chance to praise the Lord and giving Him the glory. :)

Wee! Tomoro no school, can work lo, because past two days I have been studying, hees. :)
Got to jia you lo, cos my common tests are next week. (:
And do give thanks everyday about everything to Him. Not just today.
Today, is Thanksgiving Day. But I believe, everyday, it is one by itself.
Let today's and coming days' thanksgiving, not to be lesser than the day previous.
And I give thanks to God that He healed my stomach, because have been experiencing pain that past few weeks.
Thank God for everything! And God is Emmanuel! :)

2007-12-05T01:32:00.001+08:00

Thank You Lord for all things in my life. Even though sometimes I felt my body is failing, Your grace, raise me up. Umpteen times I had failed You, but nevertheless, You have always provide someone to help me. Thank You Father.

Who is the one that He send?
A friend, who I just in need. I'm actually practising infant and paedetrics nursing, and I got a friend in hospital who is practising infant nursing. Wee!
Well, thank God, because until I went out with my male friend, then I got to realise that God has actually placed her beside me, to guide me in my studies. Soon, I will need her help again.
I do wonder how come God place her beside me, and I didnt realise until both of us are sharing people who are incredible, helped in our lives and making a difference. Of course, my friend shared a lot about his. :)

Sharing part of my life was quite nothing, because it's quite... plain, as I compared it with my friend. He worked in Fullerton restaurant as a Main Chef assistant, been a gangster, and lots of others. He is supposed to be a marketing manager for Coffee Club, while at the same time, he was a assistant manager in trainee. But he quitted and went for photo shoot for his portfolio, because he knew the Director of the model advertising company, and has the possibility to become a model. AHHH~ He got lots of choice, but not settling down. Certainly that is the act of Christ's Grace.
On the other hand, I was also having God's Grace, otherwise I wont even met him and other friends, speaking lots of their experiences into my life.
Of course, there are many pretties around me, and the more I must guard my life and my heart. Be good and nice to them, on the other hand, draw the boundaries.
“[Thanksgiving] I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way—in all your speaking and in all your knowledge—”- 1 Corinthians 1:4-5
Thank God. (:

1I hope you will put up with a little of my foolishness; but you are already doing that. 2I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. 3But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 4For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough. 5But I do not think I am in the least inferior to those "super-apostles." 6I may not be a trained speaker, but I do have knowledge. We have made this perfectly clear to you in every way. 2 Corinthians 11: 1 to 6

When I was typing out this devotion, thinking of the gal that God sent to help me in my studies.
God sent. Deceiving, isn't it?
Do have a clear heart about what God wants to tell you. Always checks.
Why is she in NUH earlier than me?
Why is she only until now, then I am able to talk to her and share with her?
Why is she only until now, realise I am in infant nursing?

There can be a lot of reasons, but do have a clear heart.
Where is she working? Infant ward.
EVen though cell has no one in nursing, still thank God, because He knows I need help. Hehe.

Allow my thoughts be as pure as a virgin. Though sounded quite weird, still thank God for it. (:
Dun let the "super-apostle" in you confused your mind, but know what you are seeing. (:

Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love You have loved me.
Break my heart what breaks Yours.
EVerything I am for Your Kingdom,
As I walked from Earth to eternity.

Praise Him,Praise Him, Praise Him in everything. (:

2007-12-05T01:31:00.002+08:00

Today, was kinda rebirth for me. I went out today, lie a prince, or maybe a super white guy. The shirt I am wearing, is white. My bag that I am carrying, it's white. The water bottle that I am carrying is also white. MY specs, is also white. :)
The white shirt I am wearing, drawing looks like an armour.

Well, there's a breakthrough within my thoughts. I realised what I need to do and need to continue to practise, until fruits are bearing out of me. Well, it's by God's grace certainly, otherwise I dun even have the chance to do it.

A few days ago, I was quite tempted to work today, but I made a deliberate effort to give it a miss, and go for open cell today. Thank God, because He affirmed me today again. (:

5 As King David approached Bahurim, a man from the same clan as Saul's family came out from there. His name was Shimei son of Gera, and he cursed as he came out. 6 He pelted David and all the king's officials with stones, though all the troops and the special guard were on David's right and left. 7 As he cursed, Shimei said, "Get out, get out, you man of blood, you scoundrel! 8 The LORD has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The LORD has handed the kingdom over to your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a man of blood!"
9 Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, "Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head."
10 But the king said, "What do you and I have in common, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the LORD said to him, 'Curse David,' who can ask, 'Why do you do this?' "

11 David then said to Abishai and all his officials, "My son, who is of my own flesh, is trying to take my life. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to. 12 It may be that the LORD will see my distress and repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today."

13 So David and his men continued along the road while Shimei was going along the hillside opposite him, cursing as he went and throwing stones at him and showering him with dirt. 14 The king and all the people with him arrived at their destination exhausted. And there he refreshed himself.
2 Samuel 16: 5 to 13

1O LORD, how many are my foes!
How many rise up against me!
2 Many are saying of me,
"God will not deliver him." -Selah

3 But you are a shield around me, O LORD;
you bestow glory on me and lift [b] up my head.

4 To the LORD I cry aloud,
and he answers me from his holy hill. -Selah

5 I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.

6 I will not fear the tens of thousands
drawn up against me on every side.

7 Arise, O LORD!
Deliver me, O my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
break the teeth of the wicked.

8 From the LORD comes deliverance.
May your blessing be on your people. -Selah
Psalms 3

Curses have been threw upon David, who was still a king at that time, even though Absalom, son of David, was after David. Son was chasing for the father's blood. Shimei was doing that. But still, David still trust Lord, even in throwing the curses by Shimei, he sees it as it's something from God.
David is faithful, and so God is. Thank God for David, because it's through David, we are enjoying the privilege by our forefather, David.
David, did thought about what God has done.
In David's thoughts, he is still a human and negative thoughts did came to his mind. But look at every Selah moment.
Everytime, he seems to be disappointed, but it's God in his life that sparked him off.
Well at the end of the day, his son died. This crisis, which David's son wanting to kill him, had actually sieved out all the officers, which followed David, and through this event, it has chosen the appropriate officers for David, who followed David throughout. (:

He will always give us an answer, it's also through the crisises in our lives, not grumbling to God but believing Him, show His Faithfulness to us.
Though it's kinda back to basic, doesnt it warm our hearts? (:
Thank God and Praise Him. More to come for us to trust Him, I believe. (:

2007-12-05T01:31:00.001+08:00

I come, before you Lord
Before my king
Lift my hands toward you Lord
I worship you
(I worship you)

Your love is all
My heart longs for
I thank you, I thank you
Your grace, your peace
Your faithfulness
I thank you, I thank you

I worship you, I worship you
My Jesus, my Jesus ~Thank you, Paradise Community Church.

Changes in my life, keeps on going. buidling relationships with humans, and they all become my friends. Well, thank God for everything.
Thank God for my cousin, and it's like what Dad has told me, God will provide me with all the outing clothes, because God uses my cousin to bless me with a new nice polo shirt, and indeed, a lot of people doted me. They do know my other inner character, that is a super serious face when working, but they are so good to me. (:
What really interest me the most is working on others' salvations, especially those who doted me.

Well, I have to confess that it's quite hard to resist a pre believer gal who is your type. What is my type?
Slightly wild, an eager to be better, always on the move. I can list out all. But the thing that turns me off is, are they believers?
Too bad, or pray for their salvations. (:
Well indeed there's a lot of choices, but ladies are especially beautiful when they are seriously working.
All and all, there can be a lot of things that makes this world keeps on going, our lives keeps on wasting, yet there's one thing that will always keep myself in mind that we are wasting away and the world keeps turning, that is God.
Time may seems to be endless and slow. God will make a difference. I just wanna thank God that He always keep me awake, about what I am doing in my present life, where temptations is ongoing. (:
Well another thing to thank God, that is, I got several areas around my abdomens have an onset of pain. But thank God, by His Grace, several areas' pains have went off, and some is not that painful. Going to see a doctor soon, but will believe that He works. (:
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.”- Psalm 1:1-2

12We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 13We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even to you. 14We are not going too far in our boasting, as would be the case if we had not come to you, for we did get as far as you with the gospel of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:12 to 14.
I always have this habit, that is, how many hours did you actually slept?
Well, I sleep for 6 to 7 hours by God's Grace. (:

I need to repent because often I asked most of the people around, they can sleep like 8 to 10 hours, as they can afford to, and heard them complaining tired. So I will try to show off. But I forget it's by God's Grace.
The whole chapter 10 is about the same:
By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am "timid" when face to face with you, but "bold" when away!~ 10: 1
7You are looking only on the surface of things. If anyone is confident that he belongs to Christ, he should consider again that we belong to Christ just as much as he. ~10: 7.
The spirit that I must change and repent is Pride, my Pride.
On the other hand, I gave thanks to God, also, fortunately do have God's pride in your life. That is something and stories to keep us hanging on, as each story inspire to either believer or pre believer differently.

15Neither do we go beyond our limits by boasting of work done by others.Our hope is that, as your faith continues to grow, our area of activity among you will greatly expand, 16so that we can preach the gospel in the regions beyond you. For we do not want to boast about work already done in another man's territory. 17But, "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."[c] 18For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.
2 Corinthians 10 15 to 18.
Never we should boast the efforts of God into ours. Let us alight our spirits with Paul. At the end of the day, what really fills the depth of our hearts are actually praise as worthy of confidence from Christ.

Let a new spirit to be birth off from me.

2007-11-20T01:40:00.000+08:00

Went to cell yesterday, by God's Grace and Time, A great message about being someone who is able to see himself in God and be different from anyone else, in this earth.

Went to a wake, yesterday, by God's Grace and Time, a wake service speaks about God's forgiveness and greatness into others life.

Went to Gkids, by God's Grace and His Timing, I am able to reach on time and about to reach there smoothly.

Went to young service, by God's Grace and Time, I am able to take back my phone safely by getting through and fro from Kor Kor Tan's car, and if you dunno who is it, I am referring to Uncle Terence(and that's how the kids called him.) :D

Went back to home, by God's grace I reached home safely. By His Time, I reached home, and just nice, my mum asked me what I will like to eat for dinner.

His Grace and Time is unconditional.
But the relationship with Him is conditional.
That's the one who perks me up throughout the rest of the service.

My journey in Christ is still young, 2 years.
But so far, what really bring close is a heart who want to seeks Christ. Today, during my service, I was really distracted, like not being a good host to Gabriel's girlfriend, that is really my fear.

I was wondering why I got so many worries, but at the end of the day, only by this moment, God uses Dad's words to fall into my mind. A lot of thoughts came through.
- Words onto any church is powerful
- Both churches are good neighbours

My mind was comparing the two churches, afraiding that anything bad will spoil church's reputation. This kind of thoughts, I must confess and I must repent.
Still thank God, cos I keep myself focus onto worship, though all that sinster thoughts just really kills my mood. I could have just pray! :(

But still, God told me, it's still the house of God. God is above all else. Never forget that. :)
Guess this is a good time to practise full-set forgiveness? :)

The Lord told me this.
7You are looking only on the surface of things. If anyone is confident that he belongs to Christ, he should consider again that we belong to Christ just as much as he. 8For even if I boast somewhat freely about the authority the Lord gave us for building you up rather than pulling you down, I will not be ashamed of it. 9I do not want to seem to be trying to frighten you with my letters. 10For some say, "His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing." 11Such people should realize that what we are in our letters when we are absent, we will be in our actions when we are present.
2 Corinthians 10: 7 to 11.

I need to repent as I looked upon what apostle Paul had written. As this letter of His speaks to me, I do realised I am in fault, because of my pride. Yes, I am confident because I belongs to Christ, but on the other hand, I should be asking for forgiveness because inside my pride, I do have that middle letter of "pride". Especially those sinster thoughts. That makes me looks like one of the Pharisees. And the letter seems to sort of describe my character that He moulded me into. Words that I spoke may seems no power when I am not present. But do be aware, especially when I'm around, because the power comes when I'm be in actions towards what He gives, speaks, writes and commands.
On the other hand I must also be aware what Paul has warned not only to me, but to the others too.
His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing." 11Such people should realize that what we are in our letters when we are absent, we will be in our actions when we are present.
It's also only through actions, His power came upon us and work on us, powerfully. :)
You are looking only on the surface of things.
Yes, it's good to be practical and looking at the facts, but do look beyond it, because what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal. (:

We’re gonna dance dance dance
In the freedom we know
We’re gonna dance dance dance
In the freedom we know
We’re gonna dance dance dance
In the freedom we know
Because the freedom we know is gonna last forever

Let there be freedom in what we sees. (:

“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”- John 17:17
When I was trying to reach out to a bunch of working friends, Daddy Jesus also taught me this. (:

1By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am "timid" when face to face with you, but "bold" when away! 2I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. 3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

My friends all have different types of troubles, worries, questions, doubts, and others to come before Christ. It's hard, it's pure faith, but I have to repent because I have not been praying well. Hope all this praying can bring back and mould back the relationship with Our Heavenly Father. (:
I tried so hard to talk to them and shared God's good news with them, and some actually sees it. PRaise God.
I tried so hard, also no use. The fact of salvation is supernatural, which can only be through Him.
I want to get the best of the evil, take captive of every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Guess that is the best of evil, where there is no need to think so much and still can improvise. XD (:
Yours is the Kingdom.

Forgiveness I have received as I have confessed, thank you Lord, for what You have done is All for Love. (:
Thank God and praise God for everything, especially every moment and the times spent. (:

2007-11-20T01:39:00.002+08:00

Well, it's mum's grandma's wake recently. It's so sudden. I believe, certainly there are some tears on each of the faces of the relatives, and mum's too.

I thank God for Christ's Love, because it didnt shortchange anyone of us when we are walking in this world, but retain the best and most of us, especially the kids in us.

On the other hand, I also dun wish anything can short change anyone of us in this world, but instead allowing God to work at all times, on the same time, we must be willing, like the time we received our salvations.

12This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 13Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. 14And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. 15Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

These few days, I have been talking with one who has real lots in her life.
She says she need Christ in her life, I thank God for that, but I dunno how to relate her with other gals type of friends. Soon ba. I hoped to make this service of Christ to everyone ba, just hope that everything is okay, and I wont be able to short change myself, and what God wanted to give me. :)
Lord I just want to commit this god sis that I have into Your hands. Let this simle deisre, allows you to use me almightily, whether is it in walk with You or with anyone. Like the Kid's prayer. No other thoughts, guarantee plus chop! (:
Bless You Our heavenly Father.

Thank God for everything and everyday. (:

2007-11-20T01:39:00.001+08:00

“Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.”- Psalm 119:18
Been lusting for these few weeks, on and off. Just dunno why. Temptations set in fast, but gone fast by God's grace. (: I just have to do one thing, that is to call 333. (Jeremiah 33:3) quite random though. XD
Was talking to one of my best sisters, well, she went for a photoshoot and the top is bra. The photographer has the photos as a portfolio. Well she says was it right and okay for me a christian to see, and at my perspective, whether is it okay for her to have this kind of thing. Well, thank God for her confidence and courage. Though as her brother, I may not like it, as a human, I took it as an art, because if you go beach, you will most probably see the same thing, and the effects of the light is not that good.
This young and sweet sister of mine, shared a lot of things, and found her life is rather broken. And I found out something eventually.
She had a boyfriend that is older than her by a few years, and exposed to older humans, I believe sex and night life is common for her. Backslided, and a heart that is easy to trust and believe, with quite a bad family background, that somehow explains her life.
I thank God I know her, because she is someone whose, not weak, but trust in the Lord, and through that I also see what Devil is doing in her life, screwing up her life.
The sins in her family, and all other stuffs, leads and slowly seeps into her life. I thank God fr the Laws that He sets in my heart, because only with the laws, I am able to see, that is something that Devil is doing. She wants to be special and strong, but I guess, the Devil is just make use of her. :(
Hope I can just make that difference in her life. :)
And not by my own strength. :)

6Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

When I saw this, I wanted to write what I talked with Dad.
Been working on an event with not much responsiveness, and thank God for James, telling me and seeing the things that he saw in everyone's attitudes.
Well, certainly this is an event that not much people wanted to commit into. Thank God I realised this after a few meetings. And I thank God with a heart of gratitude because, it's this, letting me to know how much God want me to know how people response, like stiff neck people, those who dun care, and not really being a someone who is having a heart that pursues after God. But still, thank God because He deposits a heart of joy inside me, even though somehow, maybe at the end of the day I might to give up the event.

There's actually a lot of advantages that benefits me if I give up this event, especially $$ and time. Well, after this event I can actually go to work even more, wee! XD And Dad says before this, if anyone is working alone, might as well stop it and do something else. Thank God everything is okay seems to be so far, that requires less people to operate. :)

Well, when it speaks of brokeness, certainly there is, and of course there is! Because the family is not working together ma. But the joy of planning for the Lord and work for Him was even greater. It's more than something I have, I learnt. I see this as a project for a family to work on, but too bad. Well, another thought came in, that is love His people wisely. My mind is, "Loving people wisely?"
Maybe giving it up can teaches them, because they dun care ma, let God teach them lo. I will just to do my responsibility, that's all. ANd the best, I dun even care for the others, wee! :D...

... But was that the right spirit?

Disappointment, certainly that is, but what comes after the disappointment is my heart for Christ. My heart for Christ has never fulfilled to so much, and now it's the final run, I just have to complete it, with those who have a heart to pursue Christ, like one of my female co-partner. :) To speak the truth, I do have the thoughts to those who give me all the reasons why they are busy, and bombarded them with my flowery language...

... But was that the right spirit?

I do have lots of projects and tests are coming, work, and studies is coming up. I felt like dun care everything and just pursue my work...

... But was that the right spirit?

One thing is, I do not want to be like the others. Priorities over priorities, which has no God in or maybe God is lesser in certain areas, and the worst thing is to walk over with them, and who is longer than me in the family.
Seriously, I hate that.
One thing is, who are you pursuing?...

... But was that the right spirit?

Well, the most important I done my part and keep myself around that area, guard my heart, and on the other hand, try to help my brothers as much as possible. I thank God for this event, because it showed me something good about Him. It's like, though the whole world may not like you, God is good all the time. (: The amount I am giving in, well, it certainly tests my heart, to give in and they are not returning, and my heart was "can I dun give this amount?" which I have to, because I need to feed the sheeps. :)

It's worth it la. (:
Despite all the disappointment, I see hope beyond all.
Never felt sad, but rejoicing. :)
That was my thoughts.

My feelings for sowing a lot, brings me to the christmas event. what am I sowing into it a lot?
Before some told me it may not turn out to be so good, I always trust in the Lord, never fails, and believing Him will be bring more people, outstanding more than what is in Project mooncake. I believe more than anyone else, well maybe because of the moeny putting in will be like water that is being splashed out.
And as the thoughts of giving up, those who has been working with me side by side appeared in my mind is Amelia, Helen and Tian Xi, and yeah, it's Tian Xi. :D Well all of them working with me all along, powerfully. Thank God for them.
I guess I sowed real lots into it. Faith, time, money and prayers I guess. That is what I have given, but together in this family, Dad and Mum have given lots also. Time, experience that I never have, prayers and others, something I have never have. Even the bonds between my two parents are closer. (:
But it's never been as much as the family has sowed in. :)

I'm captured by You holy calling
set me apart, I know Your drawing me to Yourself
lead me Lord I pray
Take me, Mould me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Hillsong - Potter's Hand.

Is it true today that when people pray
Cloudless skies will break
Kings and queens will shake
Yes it's true and I believe it
I'm living for you

Is it true today that when people pray
We'll see dead men rise
And the blind set free
Yes it's true and I believe it
I'm living for you

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again
Into your arms, into your arms again

Well it's true today that when people stand
With the fire of God, and the truth in hand
We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing
We'll see broken hearts making history
Yes it's true and I believe it
We're living for you

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again
Into your arms, into your arms again
Delirious - History Maker.

Your Love, Your Glory, Your Righteous and Your Holiness, here I come and seek earnestly. :)
Indeed, I never felt disappointment, but hope in life. :)
Thank God for everything, even the tests and the desperateness in my life. :)
No one else for me, None but Jesus. :)

2007-11-20T01:36:00.000+08:00

I was at the struggle with greatest temptation in my life this morning when I was in the toilet. Thanks be to God, and my choice in life, I choose not to sin, and the choice that I made, makes me felt that so far this point of my life, I am so sucessful, never felt so great in my life, even while doing my presentation, I felt that God is with me, even in lesson I was refreshed totally. Of course this eventually fades off after I thought of other stuffs, but still God is good all the time, hees. (:

“Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands are my delight.”- Psalm 119:143

I was distressing when I was doing the decision, and at the end, His commands become the source of energy for me throughout the rest of the day.

6Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9As it is written:
"He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever."[a]

12This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 13Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.

Sowing in righteous, in love and in God, with the right attitude.
Well, maybe talking to gal is not appropriate. I believe that is what God is telling me. Well, that is something for me to learn, to overcome obstacles and climbing over the mountains. :D
It's not going to be easy, but each moment just pass so quickly.
What it does, the pure message of all the lessons, is God's love to change into the best person.

Thank God for everyday.

2007-11-08T02:11:00.000+08:00

After a day's work, finally end with RP open cell. Thank god I managed to know more and more people. Well, really thank God for Jonathan for this chance, because on the other hand, it has also opened a slight opening to others' hearts. The next thing is to follow up.
Dry out sometimes, but one of the songs that keeps me burning.
Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy
Feels like the winds are gonna change
Beneath my feet, the earth is ready
I know its time for heaven's rain
It's gonna rain

Cos it's living water we desire
To flood our hearts with holy fire

Rain down all around the world we're singing
Rain down can you here the earth is singing
Rain down my heart is dry but still I'm singing
Rain down rain it down on me.

Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time, to dream again
I see the clouds, and yes I'm ready
To dance upon this barren land
Hope in my hands

Do not shut, Do not shut, Do not shut the heavens
But open up, open up, open up our hearts

Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my heart upon your altar
Give me strength to cross this water
Keep my feet don’t let me falter
Rain down, Delirious.
Thank God making an open door for me, and thank God for Jonathan's planning. :) Really appreciate it. This song, keep me, a tiny seed, which is growing with lots of nutrients and under God's Grace, wet and full with water supply.
That water is something special, O Lord, it's the living water, something that flows from You.
I was looking over and listening to "When You Believe", and it ministered to my heart. On the times, where most of us had expected lesser people, God gives me the maximum hope, because He is indeed the One.

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could

Chorus:
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will, (Now you will (3rd Chorus through))
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here

Everything seems to be so small, but He will make the difference, because I believe Him. (:

Holy
Nothing else compares to you
I lift my eyes to see your glory
Holy
Heaven brings you highest praise
I turn my eyes to you

You died to take my sin
You'd do it all again
And I still can't believe
That You would call me friend
That is why I sing

Holy
You are holy
All my life I give it to you
Coz your holiness
Is all I desire
You're all I desire my lord

Holy
All that I have gained, I give
I lay my life down at your feet
You are worthy
Worthy of our highest praise
I turn my eyes to you.

Holy, Paradise Community Church

There comes a need, to desire for Him and to be at the same standard as Him, the same holiness as Him.

Your grace
Ive seen it change a life
From death to hope and I
I throw my life on you
Cos I know
You died to make me whole
Your grace that covers all
Has filled up my heart

And love
Has covered me
And love has rescued me
And love has changed my life again

Over and Over
Im falling in love with Jesus
Over and Over again

My faith
I pray that it would grow
Cos they all need to know
That jesus is the one
And I pray
Let Your will be done
Let me be the one
To show them the way

the honour it is
to worship at your feet
to worship at your throne
to bless your holy name

Over & over, Paradise Community Church.

I thank God for the chance for being ministered and ministered by Him again, and never fail. Doors are opened for me, just whether I choose to go over and take ownership. Since, there's a chance, why not? :)

The Lord shown me these words.

2 Corinthians 4: 13 to 18

13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."[b]With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."

What is seen now is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

What is seen now is fixed reality. What is unseen, is hope, something that one believes in faith. (:

Thank God for today. (:

2007-11-08T02:10:00.001+08:00

Thank God for today's sermon. I believe it speaks to hearts of the parents, greatly.
Pastor taught us, how to move in a group, grace, timing and I missed one out.
I slept on the second point, but thank God for my brothers and Wendy, they woke me up. :D During the prayers with Dad, I saw the area that is in the centre, and it brought me back what Dad said before, guarding the middle ground of God.
REconcilation and guarding the middle ground of God, guess that is what we need to do, the most. :)
Who is actually my first love?

I was looking for my life at this moment of time, what I had missed out, and realised, I have lots, hunger and all others, but none can satisfy me but God. What about my emotions?

I felt nothing but when I heard what Ps Linda was saying at Gkids, I do realised how great is our god is. The bread that is crushed, it is like the Body. His Body, made of flesh and blood, crushed by the hands of man, like how we break the bread, using our hands.
I thank God I didn't took the Lord's supper during Gkids, because I did not really prepared my heart. Never shortchange myself, like what Dad has always told us, whether is it to those who are in relationship or those, and I thank God I didnt. I didnt shortchange myself for what the others doing in this world, and acting like a normal human. His Death comes with a priceless price, but was given to us free, and that is salvation.

I was looking back to my faith goals:
- to bring my parents for Parents Appreciation Dinner.
- to know 100 friends
- to work on my these friends' salvations.
- to complete Dad's 12.

It's kinda got through. I didnt managed to know much friends, but at least there is some. Salvation? I guess, I did. I am working on my brothers, my sisters and my uncles, towards Christ more and more. What I do, what I work on, a live demonstration to all, and whether they want to learn or not, it's up to them. :)

The Love that He gave, comes with a price. I was certainly amazed by how Christ love people wisely. His Love is never wasted, and whatever He does, He makes it clear for that person to understand, and one thing that all knows, that is He comes from a good and wise intention. The Love that He gives, never gone to waste, but in fact, most of the Love and grace that He gives has always been appreciated, and taught well into each of His Followers and the people around Him. :)

“He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”- 2 Corinthians 3:6

To be a competent minister, it is not that easy. You need to bless, pray and help others, and lots to do. But who is the One that can gives us these?
None but Jesus. Without Him, nothing can move.
It's a seed that is being watered in a fertile soil. About the growing part, only God can gives the grace to grow, all and the others. :)
Since Love doesnt come easy, lets us treasure just a bit more, and desire for ever more.

Thank God for everything.:)

2007-11-08T02:09:00.001+08:00

Sorry that didnt managed to post my devotions yesterday.
Came back quite yesterday because I went to have supper with Terence. Experience is certainly enjoyable with him., and on the other hand, getting to know this special uncle we have, a bit more. :)

As God uses Dad bring us back to where we are to
My first love, is indeed, Him.
Well, without Him, I dunno what is love, not about mentioning what is giving true love to someone I love.

It is indeed by Grace, I was brought back to Him, enjoying His Spirit guiding me along as I work, howevr, thank God for Dad's reminder, one of the tasks, or in fact, I should change it into a habit is to desire for Him more and more. Praying is the thing I always do back in the past, and it's quite long time. On the other hand, this greatest Father that I ever have, is someone who is super interesting, and even to the Ends of the Earth, I cant even find. Time may seems lesser, but the desire for Him is even more, beacuse I am so weak and vunerable, anything can just throw me down.:)
Time maybe limited but it's sufficient.
All after all, I still thank God, for He is always with me.

11We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.
2 Corinthians 6: 11 to 13.

Hearts seems to be heartened easily, especially the world turns a blind eye to you. Secondary schoolmates do not even bother with you, and yup, hardly anyone understand you. However, I do realised, that is the most important of our lives to make ourselves, not defensive, and in fact weak in all circumstances. we are not from the world, and Our Father in Heaven, has always asked us to have a soft heart. Open our hearts, even people hurt us.
If you don't give or open your hearts to others and even to Him, how much do you expect to let God to work in you? No pain, no gain.

14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[b]? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."[c]
17"Therefore come out from them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you."[d]
18"I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
2 Corinthians 6:14 to 18

So do not be part of them, that is what I learnt. In fact be a social hazard. It's never easy, because it's impossible for you not to gossip about people around, but on the other hand, we speak of others' goodness.
2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

The match was something special for me to know. How God is teaching His people.
Very interesting.

Loving His people wisely.
Thank God for everything. :D

2007-11-08T02:08:00.000+08:00

Missed my devotions, sorry about that because was too tired. Like every minute, I was typing, my eyes closes and keep hitting the keyboard loudly. But thank God for everything so far, aond so long for my week.

A bit more of learning and more of what I have expected for me to learn.

Thank God for all yesterday, especially one of my schoolmates who tells me more about responsibility in my work. Thank God my attitude in studies is changing. But my attitude towards project, is not. Her words are super enlightening, like God sent.

She teaches me how to be responsible to my work even more. It’s really nice of her. Well at that time, when she is going to tell me all what to do, my heart just how got provoked, and wanted to be angry. Her words are strong and firm, so I was taken aback, but my heart want to attack, but thank God, He taught me, how to learn and be calm. She’s not in fault, but I am. I thank God for her telling me that. (:

Thank God for yesterday.

Thank God for today about school, where I prayed I got it. It’s like what’s in the Bible, like David. Whenever you ask and where you are, God is there, as long as you asked and prayed. (: super cool. Today supposed to have a presentation, I was not made known to that, and I did not ask for it also, assuming that next week is going to have the presentation. Out of expected, my friends have already finished everything, and again, I thought my reputation is gone(it’s hard to build back, and guess that is one of the reason people dun like to be with me in a group.). Till now I understand how much my brothers has put their hearts and their responsibilities into their work.

Slowly, I began to think of my workplace. Well, I missed out a few good assistant managers there. A manager under training is working with us, hope everything turns out well.

As I was working today, I seems to be so free and my soul, it relaxes and flies within so high and so strong, like I can dance without the music.That's my enjoyment within work. And I believe God given me that, and I thank God I got that type of spirit. Everyone is working towards a goal, that is to serve customers to the best. How I hope we have that in the family and we have that, just not that esay to see that.

Often, I thank God I didn't go be with the world and I am different from that. Well, I thank God for where I am, and I want to even better. :)

Oh ya, I have a dream recently. It's like I am pregnant. Then the baby dropped out and borned prematurely. After somehow he die. What does that implies? I dunno. :)

“I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,”- Ephesians 1:18
I began to open my eyes towards the way of the World does things is cruel.
And fromthat, actually, we are supposed to make outselves even more different.
Lt us see what Jesus want to do through us, but ensure yourself you are open to any changes. :)

2007-11-08T02:07:00.002+08:00

A day after work, added to another day of my 4 to 5 hrs of sleep. Certainly it's worth it. I have never find so much fun in my work, especially it's for God.

As I was preparing myself to school, it's been so long that I felt so nice about listening "Running After You". by Planetshakers.
Your Word is a light unto my path
Your Love guides me through my darkest night
And even though sometimes Your ways
I cannot understand
I’ll never walk away because my future’s
In Your hands

I don’t care what people will say
I’m running after You
I won’t turn back and go their way
Coz I’m running after You
Yeah I’m running after You
I’m running after You
(I will run to You)

I don’t care what people will say
I’m running after You
I won’t turn back and go their way
Coz I’m running after You
Don’t matter what may come my way
I’m running after you
It’s You I’m following today
I’m running after You

I’m running after You
It seems to be a brand new day for me. I dunno why, I just feel it.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”- Romans 12:1

Though today I was supposed to attend lesson, somehow, the music score in my bag took my attention from long lessons. It rekindles my love towards Christ even more, because this song, is actually one of my best female friends give it to me. She ask God for that song, and she said that song suits me. Well, I dunno, but somehow I can really felt the Love from Christ.
It's very sweet, simple and clear. :)
No matter what, whether is it in the toughest time, I, Your God, will clear the way. :)

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
2 Corinthians 3: 16 to 18.
Troubles may trouble our hearts, but it will always become clear, if we fixed our eyes on Him.
It takes a clear heart to see unseen things, how much does it take to takes for a trouble heart to see unseen things? :)
For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Thank God for everyday! :)

2007-11-08T02:07:00.001+08:00

Thank God for today's sermons.
It brings me back like what I have done on 26th oct, friday, back to two days.

Waiting for Keelin to realised from work.
So ya, I realised that, in the ministry, well maybe you will feel that sometimes, we need to pick that person up and slow us down during the process of reaching our Goal, that is Christ and Our Home, Heaven.
I came to realise that, hey, yeah, maybe it slows me down but at least, I did what God wanted me to do, and if my time can actually make up the time for that person to meet Christ earlier, why not? :)

These few days, a random came to me, death. What am I supposed to do when I got 2 weeks of life?
I will be dropping out of school, and lots. There's one thing I will want to do, that is to say "I love you" to someone who is my life, well not someone but most of you all. And enjoy all my things, before I go Heaven. :)
Crying, maybe I will still have because I will miss my parents but whatever so, I still thank God. :)
Of course I can still have the choice to stay in this world, through my will.
But the best is not to. :)

1Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.
2 Corinthians 5:1.
I always thank God for me in a church, because that where I really meet Him even closer. :)

16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:16 to 19

Our Father in Heaven sees us as His sons, betwen ourelves we are brothers. If Christ can even give grace and reconciled a sinful man, I dunno what makes us stop us from getting know each other, even though we are hurt by the family, most of the time. :)

22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother[b]will be subject to judgment. Matthew 5:22

So dun be angry with your brothers, because we will also sinned against them. Praise God. :)

Thank God for everday.

2007-11-08T02:06:00.001+08:00

Preparing myself for devotions, I wasn't ready at home when I wanted to type it out, until I reached here! Ta-TA~! Terence's house.
I was actually reflecting about discipline and understanding to what parents, teachers and all other authorities have said, especially the part of what teachers and parents always put on that mouth.

I was thinking of Jesus, about 5 loaves and 2 fishes, the boy and His Wisdom.
It came to me so amazing. Discipline is not anger. Discipline is not restriction. Discipline is not about anything, but understanding, reasons and lots of God's wisdom.

Every step of building character, takes time and slowly. Takes words of God, and one fruit will actually bear within the man who teaches discipline, that is patient.
That is God's very character.
What actually attracts them?
Anything, as long as you know how to put it. :)

Actually in our daily lives, we can do a lot for our children but at the end of the day, are we actually bring the Book of Love(the Bible) into life? A book, is not only for us to read, but putting the words into life, by examples and contradicting factors in life. Thank God for the chance for me to see this, and indeed I have learnt a lot, just today simply. :)

Daily work and exchange of sentences with people are the start of teaching people. Just how we phrase and and how much we believe Christ to work.
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”- Hebrews 4:12
Putting words into life, like Christ.
Pastor Linda was elaborating it, and thank God, I was there, to see how actually and how awesome, Our Father in Heaven works.

2 Corinthians 4: 13a
13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."
Words to kids are amazing. These children are like our spiritual children. I thank God for whatever I do now, I do have an advance chance to practise what is taught. :)

What happens today, seems to be an recovering lesson for me. :)
Thank and Praise God for today and everything! :)

2007-10-22T23:31:00.005+08:00

Today, thank God for God, Church and everything today.
Managed to do some activities with the kids, and found out that, they have strong fighting spirit, great creativity and defending themselves. Well, at the end of the day, they are still able to memorise this verse,
Genesis 15:1b
Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.”

What did they built?
A newspaper tower, without any stapler and anything that sticks things together. It was indeed an great sight to see how the kids work together, happily, and I guess it's I am so happy to burn a hole in my pocket to get them some things. :)
While playing with them, I had a feeling of being father to them, and enjoy what a father had felt while playing with them. It's a sense of fulfillment, and it's really lots, though it's little. It makes life a bit more better. :)
I thank God for today's worship.
Yours is the Kingdom, Always and forever, Emmanuel and Holy Holy is the Lord.
First is Reassurance, and then telling me He will be coming soon. It is such a great peace within my heart, though it's not nice for me to say this, still I slept most of the time in service. A great peace and comfort is in my heart. Sweet and relaxing.
Still thank God, because it's a revelation for me today. He woke me up in times, like An example of my excellency, and a minister in the marketplace, and another thing is, overtime worker(slogger).
First two sounds alright, but am I really a slogger?

Endless work, and insufficient of sleep, thanks to be God, that I am still awake now, though tired. Rather than saying tired, which is only my eyes, I felt refreshed in spirit, because of the service. :) Really thank God, because that builds me up.

I felt quite frustrated when I thought about how my friend sent me a last minute work, while I got so much things and wanted to grumble so much, still thank God because that makes me see my character, and areas that I need to improve. Oh well oh well.
Lots of frustration because work should be passed me yesterday, but it's passed to me on sunday, and expect me to complete as there's a presentation the next day.
I can only say, all things are possible, suddenly all things pop out, like a lesson for me to learn.
And towards my fatigue, I got a choice, is either I continued to think of fatigue and just say this, " the Lord has refreshed me." And of course I will choose the latter one. So yup. Thank God.

Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. 5Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.
2 Corinthians 3: 4b to 5.

Let us go back to God. I maybe good at this, I maybe good at that, but still, it's the Lord who has done it through in me. Because I may have watered the plant, but without Him, it has never started growing. This competence is not from me, but from Christ and the people that He has used to guide me along. :)

Just commit everything onto Your Hands, O Lord.
Glory to God. :)
Praise and thank God.

2007-10-22T23:31:00.003+08:00

Family, I seems to be struggling to be with all of them, and realised how Dad feels, helpless but on the other hand, hopes, like today's meeting, where none, except Annabel came.
Frustration there is certainly.

Struggles, and pains in the family, makes joy something that I really treasure more and more. Well, maybe pain is something that makes us feels alive. Well, like now.
While I am writing my devotions, my younger sister is complaining to me, how come her boyfriend is not saying encouraging things to her. Well, on my side, most probably she doesn't know that her boyfriend is trying his best to provide her the ebst way in studies, maybe a bit too practical but I do see the heart of his boyfriend, always wanting the best for the gal he loves. :)
Well, she was crying after I explained to her. On the other hand, I will do the same if I am the guy. Well, my gal didn't tell me what she wants though I need to be sensitive.

It, more or less, hurts me, but I believe, she has to work it out something, especially times when she feels moody, like just a moment.
The joy of the family gathering together is important, and I am committed to the family, not letting it break by anyone, otherwise, I will target that person to practise my tongue skills. Like what Dad has always said, never let gossips spreads in the family, even though they are indeed what they are. Rather, pray hard, and do you need to do as a brother, as a christian. Best, help to correct her, because if you did use a serious tone, sure he will listen, because after all, we are still siblins.

A family is like music, a band. One musical instrument, doesnt make a great difference. One musical instrument sounds lonely. It can make difference but it still face its physical limits. It will be different if they are together.
A group of instruments makes life. A group of instruments doesn't only enhance the music, it also enhance any individual instrument, just by working it out. It's like a family.
On the other hand, it must always be harmonised, so make things smooth, and makes music, worth listening. :)

As I was looking for something to teach the kids tomorrow, the chapter of "Tent of meeting" comes to me. God is using the tent to talk to me eventually every sunday. The kids, and of course there are something for me to repent. REally, thank God for this time. It certainly enlightening what to teach them for tomorrow. :)
The Tent of meeting refers to lots of thing, like Fear of the Lord and Moses's holy and righteousness. Every sunday I realised I am talking to God, whether is in Gkids or during service, really thanks God.

14But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. 2 Corinthians 14.
I have always ask myself this question, have I worked on my salvation to see the Glory of Christ?
15Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. 16But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect[a] the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
Feel the freedom that He has given to you, because there is true freedom. The Tent of Meeting Him is always everywhere we are going. That salvation that I have been working and running after, has given me the freedom in this world by Him, as we're working to be like Him, let this Tent of Meeting brought into the place of my home and those who are around me. :)

There is power in His Name!
After all, all the frustrations and struggles is worth it. :)

Thank God and PRaise God. :)

2007-10-22T23:31:00.001+08:00

The Lord has prepared me the past few days, and prepared me for today.
It's like within my heart there are some frustration. These are all actually rejections.
I was actually not chosen into a group and, yup I didnt know. So I went around and asked, and a group accepted me, after the teacher asked. Still, thank God for it, because it helps me to build relationship with others.

Yeah, I do feel sad when I heard such a response from my classmates, especially there's one who asked my friends not to join them. I need to repent, because I did said that she is petty. Did I offend her? Maybe I did. And I said sorry. But I guess she is out to make my days worse. Still, I want to thank God for her. It breaks my heart, but it builds me on the other hand.

One thing is, even though some of them may not like me, but I still must maintain a positive attitude and I believe God for placing where I am. And all of my cares, I will just make it a point that I commit it onto the Lord, because I know, if I carried it along, seriously I will get a mental breakdown sooner or later. My heart will start to harden, and I choose not to let that happened.

Every door that slammed onto my face, I will offer up in prayers. :)

It's easy to do what they do to me. But I will not do what they do to me. :)
I can't take Christ to compare with me, but I can used Him to encourage me. :)
Because I am His son! :D

7Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, fading though it was, 8will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? 9If the ministry that condemns men is glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! 10For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. 11And if what was fading away came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!
2 Corinthians 3:7 to 11

The ministry that bring out the righteous from His Laws.
How was that supposed that to happen?
For each of us is a ministry by itself. So what can we do to bring out the ministry to bring the everlasting glory?:
It started from us, when we guarded ourselves from defouling Jesus's Commands. Then from there, the righteous shall shine, but how? Guarding our words, our actions, especially gossiping about others, and thus everlasting glory will come.
I am trying my best, My Lord. :)
“Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”- Psalm 27:14

For the Glory of the Lord, Amen
Praise Him and Thank You Lord. :)

2007-10-22T23:30:00.001+08:00

Been through quite a long day, thank God for one song that perks me up through out the day.
He Never Sleeps, by Don Moen

REally thank God, because He blessed me with His Spirit, and at night, well, He even blessed me to do things smoothly. I didn't do much mistakes today, I had done 1 or 2 mistakes, but really by God's Grace.
The worst thing is, I didn't make an order for my customers and he had been waited so long. Well, luckily he didn't complain and my manager didn't know too. So I was pretty worried, as it will affect my performance. However, on the way home, something changed my thoughts.

Yours is the Kingdom.
Everything I am doing, is for Him, and in fact a training for me. So whatever comes I will take it as a learning journey and I did repent for my mistakes. Will I turn into a Jesus Freak?
Maybe...? Who knows? But thank God, really got a lot of times it is indeed by the grace of God. Like the number of customers today, I was like, "God, allow there to have more customers today."
So ya, indeed, around half an hour later, a rush of crowds came in, until 9:30pm the crowd cease, and only left a few. At least today's sales is better than yesterday, but all and all, it's really by God's Grace.
Thank God also, learnt quite a lot of new things. :)
Indeed, He is an Awesome God. :)

8None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"[b]— 10but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.
1 Corinthians 2: 8 to 10.

Are you in touch with God? :)

“The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare.”- Psalm 25:14-15

Though life may be busy, like me (8am to 12mn), dun worry, I know you did feared Him that He will to anything to you, but it's okay. Fear Him, and He will tell you how much He love you, through your little fear you have in Him. :)

What a great day!
Praise GOd. :)

2007-10-22T23:29:00.000+08:00

Today, may seems tob e a bad start of the day. Well, I woke up around 7:30am, and reached school around 9:30am, and yeah, I missed one of my class. But thank God, at least, I know what to do for next.

Thank God for tonight's work, and even today.
Tonight's work, there seems to be quite a lot of mistakes, and I made 2 mistakes.
One thing is, it's not about what mistake that I had made, but taking the ownership of where I am. It's more than anything that I have. That section of area is given to me, others may think it's not that "I done", but I realised that, hey I have the responsibility about what is place on my hands.
Like what God has put into my mouth, I didn't take up the responsibility because I am at fault while dealing with customers, but rather, I take up the responsibility because, that place belongs to me. :)

That is what God put into my mouth indeed. Why did I say so?
12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." Exodus 4:12
It happens when I was trying to work out something for Gkids.
I saw that sentence was very affirming, especially tonight.
Indeed He is the Lord of Ages.

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”- Psalm 19:14

Thank God, though it's a short while with Him.
Praise God. :)

It may seems to be a bad day, but guess the laughters with my colleagues and jokes from TV enought for me.:)

Thank and Praise God, because He has taught me lots.

2007-10-22T23:28:00.002+08:00

Serving Gkids yesterday, and listening to their voices as they worshipped, was indeed an blessings for me. That's something to push me on towards Gkids, wanting to serve God more than anything.
Their voices, God wants it.

As the sermons speaks about Law and Grace, I began to see God's grace upon me when I was younger, like 9 to 10 years old. A young child after sunday school, joined the assembly with the adults and run towards the altar. Blessed by a pastor and left like a kid.
How would an adult see it?

A child who is running towards Christ, has more qualitfications than anyone who is around or even after my age to see Him. They didnt do anything much wrong, and they didnt do anything much either.

It also brought me back to the time, when I was actually just kneeling at the steps, waiting for pastor to touch my forehead. The feeling of whole body goosebump was not good, but the touch within my heart is good, like a sense of relief, and that's God. There's a lot of times that pastor blessed me, and touched my head. But how many times that God wanted to tell us, "Son, I just want you to know Me."

So near, yet so far. That's the feeling.
I just wanna thank God so much, with the bottom of my heart, and yup, love God, Dad, Mum and all my siblings, and all around me, lots! :)
Thank God for His Grace. :)

5If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. 6The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. 7Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 9The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 10If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
2 Corinthians 2:5 to 11.
As the Devil tries to deceive me what is forgiveness, I begin to look for what is true Grace and Mercy from Christ.
The true mercy of Christ is, you may have failed, or done something wrong. But again, you will be given the chance to do thing what you want to, as much as you have repented and said "sorry".
The one who gives forgiveness, may have stripped someone who is in position, but on the other hand, that doesnt mean we dun care about that person. That is a matter that I am dealing within my heart. Whether did that person did this or that, when we come to that person, we must handle each matter individually.

“How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears.”- 2 Samuel 7:22

No matter what we do, and every matter is an thing, but every human is a being.
It is different from a thing. :)

Thank God for everything, and forever. :)

2007-10-22T23:28:00.001+08:00

Well, I thank God for today's sermon.
It shows me what should I be doing, especially towards one of my brothers.
I asked my dad, and I asked my brother's dad. At the end of the day, I realised that, I should have listen to what my uncle has said, because somehow my uncle, somehow know my brother better.

As today's sermons spoke about Grace and Law, I do realised that it's because most of the time, we cannot make it up when we tried, that's when Grace came in.

Law gives sin death, and Grace makes the Spirit alive.

Towards some things in Christ, I realised there are some parts of life, especially in Him, there are something that we must hold firm and it will come to a point where we are tested, in faith and willingness to change.

I just realised that, what that I had written for yesterday devotions was supposed to be something that the Lord has prepared for me.
So today, I was thinking my thoughts and my actions for the event and the committee.
Wanted to do lots of things, but I came to a conclusion.
What humans think I dunno.
What God think I also dunno.

So just follow the Spirit lo. :)

Law cannot be replaced by Grace.
As I went for altar call today, I just want to be touched by Lord, and He did.

Thank God and told me somethings in life.
Need to repent that didnt focus much on while writing. :)

But still thank God for today. :)

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”- Romans 12:2

I will commit him onto Your hands, O Lord.

I had confidence in all of you, that you would all share my joy. 4For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you. 2 Corinthians 2:3b to 4.

Whether the next step I do, is it a mistake or anything, I will give thanks to God, because all that I do, I trust in Him. :)
Just make me assuredly yours.

Thank God for everything. :)

2007-10-12T02:26:00.001+08:00

Today, well thank God for lots of things, and I was led by God and thank God in all things.
I didn't really like the start of the day, that is like waking up around 8am, to help my mum, till 11am. Thank God, I just asked God to change my mindset and true, I was trying all myself to change my mindset, God sees it and yeah, I was like making myself happy throughout there.

So God comes during my break during my work and ministered to me. Scrolling down my phone just to listen to a worship song softly, and saw this, "Perfect Day" by Planetshakers.

Looking back over my life
I can see some changes
That You alone have brought

Everything became so clear
At the moment
That You came in my life

It was as if I'd seen for the first time
And suddenly I felt like I could breathe

What a perfect day
What a perfect day
What a perfect day when You came into my life

While listening to it, I was reflecting upon my day, especially that start of my day and felt quite bad after I left my mum and my thoughts. Well, everything may seems to be bad to me, but after all, God planned these days, and yeah I just thanked God, filled with joy that God has planned these days for me, you know, it's an honour leh! hees.

Working at night, welcoming the one of the female part timers, who went through the training with me at the same time, and ya, I was being asked to this question by my supervisor, "does she has the chance to become your girlfriend?" and "yeah", that is what I answered. She is a non-christian and has a boyfriend, a high chance there is a possibility because all things are possible.

But as I talked it out, I also realised one thing, that is, God is also able to help me out. Eh, I got the best thing, or maybe, supernatural, to help me, and why not? I admit I am a human, and I am weak, that makes God even more want to help me, hees. :)

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. 2 Corinthians 1: 9 to 11.

Wasn't the day in your life is just simply perfect, asyou know it's Him who planned it and depend on Him, as it may not be perfect the way you seems to be? :)
It doesnt take 7 to show it, but Him to show us. :)

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.”- Psalm 62:1

2007-10-12T02:25:00.001+08:00

Well thank God for allowing me to work in Waraku, because I have learnt one thing, that is to let out temper and be specific in areas of lives.

A lesson is being learnt, but a great price is being paid. Disorganisation. But I must think of an idea to do the best solution. Uphold certain qualities in our lives is certainly something that I hold to see, as a leader. But I thank God for what I am and where I am.

Well, I do realised one thing. Our spouse, or our partners in our future is like us, they are eventually the opposite gender of us.
Whatever that is, I thank God for everything.
Thank God that I am able to pull one of my friends who are affected by her friends, and bring Words of Life into her life.
Often, may of times, words of encouragement may help, but it doesnt really helped much. Actions do. This kind of actions, is different. It needs people who has an issue needs to be resolved, and that person beside him will encourage with him. Thank God for that. :)

“It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.”- Deuteronomy 13:4
For all of us here work for the Lord, and everyone is being equal in front of Him, let it be whatever be from Him. So what do we really work for?
Thank God for affirming one thing.

19The churches in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla[a] greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the church that meets at their house. 20All the brothers here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.
21I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand.
22If anyone does not love the Lord—a curse be on him. Come, O Lord!

23The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you.

2007-10-12T02:24:00.001+08:00

As I was working tonight, though quite a long day down the road, I thank God that I have the favours of men around me. Thank God for my brother too, Keelin, as he works there as a full timer. In some areas of his life, maybe he may not be as good as the others, but still he still have his power in life, that is given to him by God's Grace, and also, I thank God. I was given a super thick skin, to mix around and the willingness and desire to learn more. It's more than a working place by itself, as it seems to be.

Well, Chris is going to quit soon, because he said this doesnt suits him. But deep within my heart, if deep within your heart, you cry out the most inner desperation in your life, to pursue music with all you can, whatever that comes onto your life, you will never say "no" and "die", but being pushed to a greater height where you have never reached before.

Am I working with my heart?
Certainly, with my heart to people who are there. I do treasure them and yup, I can treat them like my brothers and sisters, because thank God for them, I am where I am.
Oh well, I dun have the power to confront the human souls, but thank God, He has deposited some in me. It's all and all, everything, by God's grace, and to serve my best to my boss, treat them like Jesus! :)
All things happened around me made me more experienced in dealing and handling things, but what really making my spirit, is God. And I really thank God. :)

1 Corinthians 16: 5 to 9.

What are your personal requests in your life?
Is one of your request, to spend time with God?
Why do Paul went so far to another place, just to spend some time with the others?

It takes the same heart within the brothers and the siblings in this Christ's relationship.
It's indeed by that small act on the same day of Pentecost, makes everything all possible by a heart like Christ.
How does these personal requests become possible?
When you believe, not you but Christ is doing the work.

Thank God.:)

2007-10-12T02:23:00.001+08:00

Well, it's so encouraging for me to see Amelia, doing so much things, and mee, what am I doing?

Have and great talk with Dad today, and thank God for Dad and Amelia, so blessed tonight, to hear things from Dad and able to talk out most of the stuffs., though I shouldnt have vented my frustration on Dad... :X oops.
When I was at the prayer meeting, I thank God that I went, and I went to the the right place, it's just the right time for me to sort out thee heart matters and to seek Lord with a clear heart. Certainly I am tired and Dad also, and really thank Gdo with that talk, I was so sensitive to Holy Spirit.

Two things happened while I was on the way home. XD
I was able to estimate the time when I was going to reached m stop.
When my mind was like humming a love and breakup song from Elva Hsiao, I saw a couple was quarrelling on the road.
And I was "WOW.".

On the other hand, as I didnt want to do devotions because I am tired, I still did it in the end, and I was looking at my bible on a super comfy bus seat sleeping, I found a verse seems attractive to meXD.

5What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. 9For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.
1 Corinthians 3:5-9

IT applies to this very event that we all are working out.
We have planted a seed and each of us is watering it. Those who controlled their watering carefully and delicate, God saw the effort and the heart, and He will make them grow.

One thing is, who was the one making it growing?
As we are busying with our stuffs, who are able to identify, who is actually disrupting this beautiful plans?
Not anyone of us here, but the Devil, deceiving us.
An internal confusion is occurring but, are we clear about of feelings?
And what are we actually working for?

My objective for all, is to work as a family. Got issue, resolve it.
And one last thing, all we have done, It's to honour Him. :)
Let us mark our first step.
LEt us buy the seeds and sow them, believing God can help throughout the process. :)

Praise God. :)

2007-10-12T02:18:00.000+08:00

2007-10-12T02:17:00.000+08:00

For the first time, life is so rich in me. I am doing things more than usually, especually today. Went out around 7:30 am and then reached home around 12mn, not bad, and Praise God, my strength didnt really burn out and quite sad, one of my assistant managers didn't really feel good, and thank God for my body i am in. :)

Everytime finish work, it's like finishing as workout, I didnt really sweat,, but burn away some fats, cos it requires us to walk at least for a few hours and walked briskly.

Well, the reward of the day is ice cream!

Something scary lurks around my heart today, but thank God. It was the time, when I was with Terence in the car, and a sudden curiosity and voice came to me.
It's like talking about homosexuality. I was praying hard during that time, maybe curosity is there, but God's values is even stronger in my mind. So, thank God for it la.

I believe that evil spirit picks on my curiosity, but thanks be to God, because I can see what I am doing, what the evil spirit trying to convince my mind, lots. So I prayed, and everything ends. Thanks be to God.

Sorry to all though I am not able to be there for the meeting, cos I got rush to work. well, it's not nice, and recently I am still trying out something in life, especially time management. Thank God, for allowing me to take control of my time. I always thank God for Daddy Chris, because he is someone who I can live as and believe, as a role model, like Christ. To be come like Chirst, first become your leadeers, or be like thm, then slowly reached for the impossible.

Well, what Dad has now, it's more than what he has been working, and yeah, as I was trying to go through what he titries to, though it's can never happened, I am able to feel how God is able to within him so powerfully, and the number of sons he has, means how Dad Chris has been so broken before, faithful and even becoming more powerful than before, all by God?

An offering of my soul to the power of body, why not? :)

1Now about the collection for God's people: Do what I told the Galatian churches to do. 2On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made. 3Then, when I arrive, I will give letters of introduction to the men you approve and send them with your gift to Jerusalem. 4If it seems advisable for me to go also, they will accompany me.
As we offered up our offerings, what are we actually offering?
Our hearts, our souls and our thoughts.
We offered up a token of what we have, tell God how much He can used this little part of us, to help the others. On the other hands, it also helped us, because others and we, even ourselves can used this money to expand the kingdom of God, just simply by using that amount of money, to find people who are able to afford the trips and fares to other places, and the very mindset of saving the best to the last for His people.

It may seems like, God doesnt provide, but God do. It may seems to be tough for people to save up that time, but throughout the process, God hope to find the hearts that is alighted with Him, and trainings, one heart to go through, to see perseverance and light.

Thank God for the sermons today, it brings me closer what God wants to say. :) Praise God! :)
So, an offering is more than what itself is :)

Praise God. :)

2007-10-02T19:44:00.004+08:00

I was real burn out on sunday, all I can say, I am "steamed out" or, "totaled"!
Thank God for the dinner and the day that He has provided me with strength.

Thank God for Mum, for she gives everyone that is in the celebration meeting a heart, a goal, and ask them to think of a theme to work on. It's a wakeup call, as when everyone looks for a theme, I hope they will find an ownershipin this celebration. :)

Thank God for Sunday's sermons, managed to practise it on my family yesterday. I confessed, I didn't take the sermons carefully, keep falling asleep. Haiz. Oh well.. :/
It happened on yesterday, where I am sort of quarrelling over my teeth. Yes, my tooth on back of my right side, it aches around 1 or 2 months ago, it's not sensitive, but more of like, just simply drinking cold water will affect the left side of my teeth, like symptoms of decaying. So, I quarrelled with them that I did asked my mum, since long ago, for a small amount to have a dental checkup, and she had forgotton about it somehow, keep forgetting it. Well, since she keeps fprgetting it, so ya, I gave up taking up the subject to talk about until yesterday.
While my mum telling me about how toothaches affects one's mood, I told her I wasn't like her. I guess she knows what I mean.
My dad came in, and he said, "why are you still eating sweet stuffs?", which I know I shouldn't, but do not have the wrong perception. You can have sweet stuffs even though you have tooth, not teeth decay, just that after eating, remember to rinse your mouth.
And he said, it's because of not enough sleep, or sleeping late. Traditional Chinese Medication, may have that indication, but to a certain extent, I dun believe it, though science has proved TCM did have some medication effects, as my brother told me that, and it's a fact, which I reluctant accepted it.

I went to bath, and my soul began to calm down. Lord told me some stuffs, through yesterday's sermons. At the end of the day, I did said sorry to them at the end of the day, because God showed me I am wrong, and of course I did feel it that way. I guess my dad was angry with me, cos he will normally chat with me, oh well. Thank God that the toothache is slowly disppearing, I guess the pain is related to the issue also, and lesser and lesser.
Most importantly, thank God, I am still able to take out some of the important points and ya, everything was fine today, and I gave my dad a kiss, as he helps me out to find how to go Novena from my school. Thank God that able to know to say sorry and feel guilty.

Thank God, I also managed to find a permanent part time job.
Guess it can reduce the amount of my mum's expense somehow, and ya, finally can have the chance to save even more money up! :)
It's same as where Keelin is working, or rather, I should said I am working at the pasta restaurant, that place we ate on sunday, Paste de Waraku! :)
Sweet, it's a great chance to have Keelin guiding me in my work! Wee!
Luckily I told the manager that I am only able to work like 3 days, otherwise he sure burn off my sundays and saturdays, haha. :D

Sunday was a great day, it's like a vision was input into me.
It brings me back to this verse,
"Awake, awake, O Zion."~ 1 Isaiah 52.
It reminds very clearly, because as I am maybe doing a lot of things currently, I must know what the Lord wants me to do, and what He has made a way, and providing for me.
And, a pair of hands was getting close to the eyes and rubbing it, and it reminds me of that verse, "Awake, awake, O Zion". Knowing what I am doing, why I am doing, and one thing is I must enjoy it. :)
It may seems like I got plentiful of stuffs to work on, but am I really do not to neglect all those?
No, but in fact, within all those of so much that He has prepared in front, there are something for me to enjoy, now it's up to me, whether am I willing to be used by Him, and out of all times, like what Dad Chris does, when he is simply tired, just continue to walk with Christ though I need time to regain my stamina, and to continue to try to run and finish the race, withh all I have, and I can.
Like what He has always told me, "I will provide all things that you need, as long as you seek and ask, but dun neglects things that is happening around."
You can hasten your steps, but please slow down your speed in life.
Life can be fast, but slow down to the things you see. :)

WEll that pair of eyes that I saw seems to be familiar too, dunno where seen before. :)

It's really by Him that I can walked so supernaturally. :)
58Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.~ 1 Corinthians 15: 58.

As He showed in my life, clearing all the distractions, and I thank God for all these work that is not going to be in vain, because He is building my little and simple faith and trust of a little child. :)

Thank God for everything.

2007-10-02T19:44:00.002+08:00

Thank God for the dinner at pasta de WARAKU.
It's such a fun thing to see each of us snatching for the food that we wanted to eat, though I am not full, hehe. :)

While on the way home, I was thinking the things I done before and doing now, like the event and others. Well, wanted to talk to someone but sad thing is, whenever I wanted to talk to someone or something, the work is always put onto my mouth. Otherwise, I dunno how to connect with the others. Oh well, maybe missed out some real lots of stuffs with the others, though everyone seems to be so free, and it came to a thought. CAnt help to think I am alone, while walking towards the bus stop. I often try to find what's the difference between me and the others, and well, most probably I dunno their hobbies or interests. Oh well. =)

It's certainly not something good for me to think about, and Devil tries to attack me?
Well, the thing with my mind is, how to change it, when I seems to be living by myself?

And so, I must live with others. But how?
Concern about others.
Very typical answer, but that's the fact. O.O
So what others doesnt seem to care about me?
Dun care lo! I will just do what I need to do. :)
It's rewarding for me today, I thank God that I am able to go for today's re-encounter and though kinda sad because I didnt go for cell today.
I thank God that He always tell me that He is always with me, asking me to persevere through some things in life, especially sins.
I thank God that I went today, otherwise I still dunno how to fight with the sin of lust in me, and how to overcome it and repenting in God's way.
Learnt a lot, especially the part where treasuring the relationship with the one we prayed before, and lots.
Ah, today as we practising how to prophecise, I managed to get a Word from Christ. It's so cool!

But overall, didnt feel quite happy at the end of the day though.
Maybe that stupid moment that S.A.tan talked deceived me zzz.
But really thank God for His presence.
Time for me to grow, I shall not grumble like a kid, anymore. :)
Sometimes, felt it's real hard to trust the people around me, but well well, I will not to doubt, because they are all human like me, but in God's image. If they are there, God will use them and we are there together to build family! :)

Thank God, that I am able to commit my feelings onto His Hands when my feelings went into conflicts, like I am supposed to behave like a child, but I have become an adult, thoughts wnt in and out of my mind, hard to be myself. If I don't communicate much, people thought I'm anti-social. If I talked too much, people thought I am hyper.
Hmm, so hard to be a human. WAnted to dun care everything and just walk away, but can't because I belongs to the family.
Somemore most of the people around me, doesnt know what am I talking, but thank God the people in CRuSH, do! Thank God thank God, that Leo offered me his help, and asked when there's a need. Wee, not scared of not enough people to help out lo, only scare not enough place for people to sit lo! Did talked to Leo about one of my weakness today, and well, he has applied what in his life into my life, and it's certainly enlightening. HAHa! Thank God and thank you, Uncle Leo! =)

Often, I have this thought that is to run up and to be under a pastor's 12. It's not impossible but neither is it good,because since I am born in this family, I guess God placed me there, beause the family needs me, and moreover if there's really a need, I dun need to think about it, and God will just ask me to go for it, or maybe being selected to go over.
Well, if being selected to go over, Dad will certainly agreed, but he will be more or less, heart broken, because I will become his ex-son, or once-before his son. I will be quite sad, but after all, I will just give thanks to God and Dad. :)
Because, indeed, he has raised a son, but dunno successful or not la. :)

1 Corinthians 15: 35-58.
I was reading on what's about the dead and the ones.
In the end, it summaries whatever does do, it will all come to a point, where the love of Christ is spreaded around the whole world, overflowing together with His power and glory, and the dead shall rises up.
All creation shall sing.
In the end, there are no more death, for death is overcome by the Love of Christ.

What are the perishables?
We, humans and things that makes us perish, sins.
What are the imperishables?
Righteousness, Holiness, His Love and His Blood, if we have them, we are considered dead to our old self. As we are clothed with that, we will not die, for all the sins have left us as we died within flesh, but not the spirit.
"Death has been swallowed up in victory."
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?" 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

No longer there is death but life, for Death is gone.
58Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

So what do Christ want to tell us?
He loves us very much, and it's All for Love. :)
Let us prepare for the second coming of Christ!
If not yet, just plant a seed into Holy Spirit, and ask a gift from Him. =)
Thank God for today. :)

2007-10-02T19:44:00.001+08:00

got lots to share today. Maybe a bit long winded, but will still try to keep it short.

Thank God for the meeting yesterday with Samuel.
Thank You Lord for the time I spent with Julian, edwin and samuel. It's been sometimes where the brothers come together and play lan. It's hard, aand Ithank God for thatchance.
I thank God that eh, I sinned on thursday,He's with me. the darkest moment of that time, often Devil tries to cheat me, lie to me and ya.
It doesnt matter how much we can fight, or whatever we does. It just whether are we capable of saying sorry, willing to repent in all circumstances, when the Spirit told you. It's also whether we can lay it down all and all, agreeing with Him that we are weak, and He is strong. WE don't fight that hard, and if can't handle, pass to the next best player, that is Jesus Christ, Our Father in Heaven. =)
I thank God for such a brother like Edwin, who is not scared of any embarrassment(I am not saying he is thickskinned) then dare to speak out everything. I was such a tense-up guy until I saw Edwin and appreciate the way taht he is so open up. Often, we try to guard each others' hearts and minds, which we are responsible and should be sensitive to others mind, I really thank God that it's been quite sometime, I did not have a chat like that free, enjoyed it. =)

Another thing is, everytime I saw her, she sort of leads me towards Christ more and more. Miracloously, so far she's the second woman in my life so far, just by looking onto her, God spoke to me. Well, for it has written,"the seed is the word of wisdom". And maybe she is the word of Wisdom, from Christ onto me. I thank God for her, and those who are around my life.

As I went out and brainstorming some of the ideas about some of things, it brought me back to Christ, which simple is still the best. Simple can refer to lots of things, like patient, and lots. Back to basic of being a faithful believer.
As I was preparing myself to talk to Lord here and to share with you guys, I was finding a song, that He put a promise in my heart, and I gave thanks to it. =)

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it’s hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls

To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I’m two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I’m stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign.

’cause maybe there’s another plan
One I still can’t see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see
~Corrinne May, Everytime has its time.

We are all have been working towards that goal, like what Samuel says, our lives are like paper, fragile and easily tore off. The fibres in the paper, are like connective tissues in us, connecting us together. It's a piece of blank paper, nothing special from others. It did become different, when you allowed people, who are worldly or those who are believe in Lord deeply, to draw on you. But did you realised one thing?

The paper can be re-made again. Beating it into a pulp after adding water, and put it on a big container with other portions of pulp, and add in some purification substance, and take some up with the sieve. Paper pulp rests on the sieve, waiting to dry, waiting to be used.
Often God take us through some process of purification, for my case, it's like seeing her reflects in my life, clearing up the bad thoughts and persevere through with Holy Spirit, I am new again, and in fact, I am being broken down everyday, into paper pulp. To apologise to the things I done wrongly, whether is to human or, ultimately to God.
It brought me even further back to where He started the walk with me in my life.
Everything has its time. (:
Breaking us down totally, with memories to learn because everything has its time to do its stuffs,
because maybe there’s another plan one I still can’t see. A little surprise, like the love that going to happen in our lives, it becomes funny how time changes how we see, like dreams do that we pursuing does change too. :)
Come, come and relax your soul in His Arms, others, let Him to do it. Just seek Him with all your heart. :)

2007-10-02T19:44:00.000+08:00

As I was being led to temptation and even sinned against the lust of flesh, I thank You Lord, that I have read about what DAd has wroted for his devotions.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~ 2 Cor 12:9-10

I thank You Lord, that I am able to find the most tiniest hope within God, that touch of Your hand. Oh Lord, is my heart unable to save? or was it too hard for you to touch, if that is, I will be going to change by You. Hope that this dying of myself can be the new salvation in me Thank You Lord.

What is the most pleasing thing? That is to follow Christ, and find the most beautiful place, that is Heaven.
I will try to fight. The most beautiful place for You is my heart, that is Your home.
What shows my weakest? How powerful can You do it? I dunno, let it be You my Lord.
31I die every day—I mean that, brothers—just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. 32If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus for merely human reasons, what have I gained? If the dead are not raised,
"Let us eat and drink,
for tomorrow we die."[d] 33Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 34Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.

Thank You Lord for Your Word.

36How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. 37When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. 38But God gives it a body as he has determined, and to each kind of seed he gives its own body. 39All flesh is not the same: Men have one kind of flesh, animals have another, birds another and fish another. 40There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another. 41The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor.
1 Corinthians 15 : 36 to 41

It speaks to me. I may have a body that its most powerful sin in its life is lust, how am I to keep this spirit pure? It came from the thoughts, my mind which doesnt seems to be functioning today, and certainly I give in to my emotions.
I repented.

31I die every day—I mean that, brothers—just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord. 32If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus for merely human reasons, what have I gained? If the dead are not raised,
"Let us eat and drink,
for tomorrow we die."[d] 33Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 34Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.
So I should have run towards You. Thank You Lord for Your Grace. =)
I thank You Lord for the Grace and Mercy that has rained down on me.

2007-10-02T18:56:00.000+08:00

Thank Lord for today, making my heart to go towards You, that I am able to make my way and held onto the perseverance and visit my patient, though my heart doesnt want it much.
Though I felt like giving up Lord, I thank Lord, for making the journey smooth and sweet. Smooth, for the journey itself has a lots of obstacles for me to cross over. Sweet, because the journey was harsh but the presence with Him was sweet. =)
Time waiting for the buss, made an appointment to have lunch with CRuSH's staff, temptations within my heart comes along, but I thank God for helping me to overcome it. It's a powerful visit for me, even though I didnt managed to pray for him.
I thank God that it rains when I was rushing there. The traffic light and the tree that I was hiding under from the rain, and even for that moment that He reduced the rain slightly, I thank God for it.
I thank God that I didnt fall sick, was treated nicely by the family and seeing my patient sitting there with peace, watching television.
All and all, there's too much to give thanks. I thank Lord for giving me a guideline for this coming event. Maybe not a lot will come, but will commit it to You, thank you Lord for being my Advisor.
LOts and lots of ideas came into my mind. Sorry Lord for me not able to give You a place to seek You, forgive me O Lord. =(

Now I am giving a chance and a choice for me to do the thing or not. I will try my best Lord, hope I do not disappoint You, O Lord. =)

I thank God, for bringing me back to where I am and I supposed to be.
A Road with lots of hands coming out. Certainly it has its obstacles to finish and that builds us up. These hands are a process to strengthen us, and giving us the choice to grow faster. These hands, maybe slowing us down, and in fact, I thank God for that.
It brings reflections into our lives.
There are times, that He ask us to slow down, because He cant catch up with us... but was it really He that can't catch up with us? Or we can't catch up ourselves, leaving all the mess for You to clear? And are we really that fast? Oh Lord, are You just simply hinting us to slow down as we have You as our main attention and priority in our lives?
How much of us do understand the great heart of Yours?
Let there be less speed, more haste.

I pray that let there be more of You to be in my life, it's not that I dun care, but He has a better idea how to walk in this life than me. =)
Thank God for He is walking with me through my life. =)
Thank God for the temptations that makes my heart to fight and run away and hide in You whenever I am weak, and heal my body, O Lord. Thank you Father, Hope I can shine the Light of Yours, so brightly. =)

The Resurrection of Christ, 1 Corinthians 15: 1 to 10.
He told me the rise of Christ, but it's more than what it is. It's something else on the other hand. Our sins, our spirits and our lives that has been changed by the power of Christ. As I raised up by You and reborn in Spirit, I was also reborned in my life, for the sins and lies have been taken away by God, and it's God who changed my life.
There's something more that is being rised in me, that's the Love that Christ had given to me, otherwise, there won't be the resurrection of Christ.
7Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles, 8and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born.
I thank God for my full birth in Christ as I considered myself as one of the abnormals, which is being called back by His Grace as I was working part time and searching for things that last forever in my life, which is Him
I was called back by the promise that made with You, that I have made before I left the church. I have never forget the promise that I made to You.
I will come back to church when my polytechnic terms starts. My promise to You.
I guess that is something I never miss out.

10But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 11Whether, then, it was I or they, this is what we preach, and this is what you believed.
I thank You Lord for the Grace that You have put and work harder in me. I may have put some effort, but certainly He has put more effort into my life than me.
Maybe I can't speak too much to anyone else, but allow my prayers to work almightily.
I believe that You are Christ.=)
Thank You Lord. =)

+the moment I was struggling with sins in my life+

2007-09-19T14:01:00.001+08:00

Willingness, are we willing to use by God?

Another thing is, do we actually see that every chance that we are given to live, there's an chance for anything allow God to work?
I thank God that I managed to talk to Chris(not Dad) at CRuSH and together with him, met Robyn for dinner.
But well, at night I do realised something that I am lacking of, something within me, and it seems to be clear after discussing with Dad about Justin, whether should I put Justin into an event.
The ownership, and not forsaking the chance that Christ had given to me.
Thank God for the chance to allow me to see my flaw, and allowing me to repent.
Thank God for today.
Thank God that Dad has blessed my family and me with something today, hees! =)

Well, Chris did told me something about yesterday. Though I didnt go yesterday, and he felt a bit sad, thank God I am still able to afford to treat him lunch. It seems nothing to others, but it's reallly something special for me and, probably for him too, because I am not him, though I can ask, hees. =)
It actually gives me a chance and making myself to put an effort to bless him. It's an chance, which everytime I can do it, if I am rich la. =) Thank God for that chance. =)

I do realised something else. It's not only me that I should have that sense of ownership, but within others, I must make the sense of ownership to arise from others within themselves. I dun have to scold, but rather making themsevles to realise. Who can teach me the best?
It's actually from anointed leaders, like Daddy! And of course, all from God. =)

Also, thank God for allowing me to be co-leader with Terence. Finally, hees. =)
A life to serve Christ, a leader building in process! =)

Today's verse was actually given by Justin, one of my dear brothers in the family!
Let's see what's within. =)

6 With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
8 He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:6 to 8.

Do you know and understand what do Lord wanted to put what's in front of your life, between your life and at the end of your life?
And what do Lord wanted the most?
We do not understand why do God want to put things that break our hearts and make things worse into our lives. And what do we need to do?

Just to trust Him and, To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

He wanted your life the most, for there's nothing for you to offer to satisfy His desire to Love you eternity, and He wanted to acknowledge you as one of His Children that is lost within the World. He missed you. But why, is it you?
Because you are special. =) Since He will give you the best, what should we do just to appreciate what He done?
Shouldn't we share this Love? =)
You may offer anything, though nothing will satisfy Him except you, Our Heavenly Father will just simply appreciate it. =)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”- Philippians 2:3-4

2007-09-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

Morning before I sleep, I guess I have an spiritual attack. Lust images and all sort of flowery things. A very strong temptation of lust.
My mouth was open, and my muscles don't want to move. Dun be mistaken, just that I am tired, my body relaxed. =D Well it's hard to bring my mind back on guard once again, and praying, even though I am sort of half asleep.
I finally understood, even at during sleep times, I must be on guard every moment of my heart and my mind.
Thank God, I was emptying my mind and praying hard.

At the most vunerable moment of our lives, such as sleeping when we cant even protect ourselves, I thank God because He has always protected me. Well, maybe other animations or manga shows how powerful a man can be, but after all, I guess I am a very good example of a human being, where sometimes I can't even control my mouth from drooling. LOL =D
Weak in all circumstances and in lives, I just now felt quite sad, because I cant really go and have dinner with Chris. No it's not our Dad, but someone else under Leo. =)

Felt quite sad because actually I ask him and watnde to go with him very much, but well, Ididnt really carry much cash and I dun really have that much cash, so yup. However, thank God for Robyn and Chris, and ultimately God because the birthday boy(yes, it's Chris) says it's okay, andRobyn was there consoling me, and God told me, how much I can took an extraordinary step out and treat him some day, like tomorrow.
Well, how come I treasure this brother who is in the extended family so much?
This brother of mine, who I went through encounter weekend first time with. =) He was one of those who has dark spirits that trapped in him, and thank God it's all removed. Interestingly, he also asked one gal, who I used to like and maybe to the extent of loving her, to be her girlfriend, and of course, his offer is being declined.
That gal did told me, I was shocked but not jealous because she doesnt belongs to mine at all.
Well, thank God for letting me to know and see him again, an figure in my life. Well, not only him, others in the family do have the amount of space in my heart, the space within heart is boundless and I thank God for it, because He will always make my heart to expand for more space whenever it seems to be less, and from he start, my heart has most least space. And this brother of mine is in the family. (:

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children”- Ephesians 5:1
How much that our parents and our spiritual parents love us?
I thank God for giving me the chance to call Chris, Daddy and Joy, Mummy(though not most of the time, hehe=X) Dad has given up most of the things. So let us think back.
How much that our parents has given up for our sake?
Whenever we are down, they never forsake us. When we are lost, they tried to find us.
That was how much God love us, and what do God have within this verse?

Love His people.
Each and everyday, little by little, people are getting nearer to gospel because the Gospel was being shared around, parables, and examples.
Kids maybe smarter, but somehow, I still thank God for I am kinda dumb, maybe not smart but towards bright.
My mum told me that actually I can hidden my purpose and my stay for my part-time work like saying this," well, I will try my best to adapt with environment and work harder, however if I really cant cope, I will tell you."
I thank God, because it certainly showed how honest, straight and simple we are.
Naive? hmm, no no.
We may not be smart, if you define smart as clever, and has a own set of methods in doing things.
We may not be intelligent, if you define it together with knowledge.
But we are bright. Bright towards thing that we learn, able to see the things and each and every reason behind all the actions on the front.
It just only take time for us to learn, and of course, we are willing to learn because it makes us curious. Though there is danger, it will be the best experience with what our parents has taught us, wasnt it?
15I speak to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. 1 Corinthians 10:15
So is His people. They are bright, maybe sometimes too smart in their own ways. They just need guidance and lots of TLC. =)

1 Corinthians 11: 2 to 16.
Man doesn't need woman .
Woman doesn't need man.
But the heading is, Propriety in Worship.
I do not know what is propriety but I guess I can understand some of what Paul is trying to say.
Paul may have Jews' kind of worship while the Gentiles may have it other way, however, we shouldn't be criticising about how other do, for the Lord will deal with them if they did anything wrong. All has the same purpose, for the Glory of God. So whatever we does in good, it's for is Glory.
Why don't allow our every actions to be the Glory of God?
Let it starts from our mouth, for it's the very basic human body of how we praise God.

Praise God. =)

2007-09-19T13:59:00.004+08:00

Like most of us - we do not want to see ourselves losing to others. Even when we are running in a marathon, our mind kept on telling us to be at least better than the average. If we were to see deeper in ourselves, we have yet died in self. If we have died in self, we wouldn't be having such thoughts. When running in the marathon, remember to look back to see how many people are still behind you. All the people are struggling to complete the race. Some of them starting to give up. Look back again and decide what to do next. Is it really important to run to complete the race in a certain time range you have set for yourself or is it giving up your priorities and lend a giving hands to people who needs it? The heart of giving stays in the receiver memories forever.

This is a small part from one of my dear sisters. =) Just managed to read this. It speak so much of myself, how I wanted to work so much for Christ. And being practical for myself in order to grow better and more fruitful, it's hard especially this time, when I was being refined by Christ, where everything in my life becomes more specific.

Yes, I did wanted to work more for Christ, maybe much more than my body can handle? I do not know, I just want more, like how others such as Ps Khong and Ps Kong can do in others' lives, and deeply in love with Christ. My heart, till this very day, is like I wanted to do more things, to show how much I loved Christ and I am much better than anyone in the family.
After I saw her devotions, well, I repented.
What's the point of working better and better, and comparing yourself with others, especially God makes us individually unique from each other?
Instead of making myself to compare with them, I will make them my inspirational figures in my life.

Everytime I heard of a parable about the farmers who came at different timing and have the same pays at the end of the day, I detected there's something within my spirit similar with those farmers who worked earlier to the end of the day, received the same wages of those who just came in at the very last hour.
It's actually the spirit of comparing, which we dun have to. One thing, yes we are unique. But what really makes one stand out different is how we see actually the inspirational figures in Christ made this all these things possible. Their acts are not for us to compare ourselves with them and to make ourselves to reach as a target or goal, but to give thanks together with them, because their actions had actually bring out the very desire from us to serve God, to the very best. Eventually, God just want us to enjoy the process, because that build us up.
Sometimes, how often, as time goes, we somehow had forgotton them, but still thank God as He never fail to place someone around us to help us. =)

I thank God for this opportunity to work with the family as a group, and some of them, to build the bond even better.

As Pastor was speaking and when he said,
"Ask and you shall be given.
Seek and you shall find."
It caught my attention.

And I begin to analyse the words, breaking them.
A simple explanation will be this.
You will ask from God and He will answer your prayers. So you will trust in Him more and more, and you will begin to seek Him.
There will be a deep desire within you to seek God for more and more, you will find Him slowly, through prayers and ministry.

But a sophiscated explanation will be this.
When the desperate you is seeking God and praying desperately, He answered your prayers and gave you the best answer. The desperate dun believe, so you prayed again. He showed the same thing again. After you followed the answered that He has given to you, you are enlightened by His words that He has given to you when He was answering your prayers.
A curiosity burns within your inner heart and you begin to look into the things of His. Miracles and miracles upon He done and answered through your prayers, the curiosity of a child turns to a desire to know Him more and better. You began to find Him, lots and lots more, and whenever you feels the fulfillment and satisfaction in your life, you know you have found Him. =)

Praise God. =)

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”- James 3:13

It leads me back to one day, when James ask Dad that whether is there really good life when one knows about Christ. Dad said yes.
Christians may seems to be having tough days, but it will be different if you take it in the Way of Christ. It takes one to understand what and why is he doing that, why God wants to put it that way.
The weakness that you shown to others make other feel that you are eager to helps and need helps, and that makes one stand out from others, because if one really have to make his road smooth, one will have to bend and break according to situation, and that requires the wisdom from God to do it. =)

3Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:3

It may make like God sounds very ego, but on the other hand, God is telling you, loves each other like Christ, like God because we all bear the blood of Christ. Equality is among us. =)

Praise God and thank God for today.

2007-09-19T13:59:00.003+08:00

Today, though did much, went through with God much. =)

Having cell today and spent sometimes with brothers, just imagine doing that in Heaven, a luxury to have. But God's presence will be the best. Jesus Christ, Our Father in Heaven, talking to you and telling some parables. It's so wonderful. =)

Thank God that Dad shared something important with us, for this cell.
Give thanks and give thanks, what's the purpose of giving thanks?
Personally, my thought at first was, either we submit, or we know what Our Heavenly Father is doing, giving thanks, is like an acknowlegdment and trust Him like a child about His work. Our Heavenly Father, He simply appreciates it with His soft, heart I can say. =)
Well, today I learnt it's more than that.
Just a sentence, a praise that can bring power to break strongholds, concepts, and bring forth a new spiritual reborn within one, and lots!
Won't it be powerful?

Lots of things for me to do, and decisions to be performed, objectives.
It's tough and challenging but thank God because I can learn, and I will make full use of my broken pride to lend all that I can learn. The desire to be like Him, won't it just burn without your heart, when you know you can serve Him? =)

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”- 1 John 4:16
I have this chain, it's given by a girl I like, or maybe love. Before or later, I do not know, but I give thanks to God for this Chain, because it's this chain holds a secret that leads me to all solutions whenever I don't want to listen to Him, that is Love.
Her likeness for me, appreciate her heart for me to go after Christ, leads to a super strong growth within myself towards Christ. Thank God that they sent Dad Christ beside to guide me along, and my brothers too. =)

31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— 33even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.
1 Corinthians 10: 31-33

As I was talking to Dad, he had shown me how important this family is, whether is it physically or spiritual. I realised that everything I do, will affect the family. I am led to a situation that I need to protect myself, my heart and my family.
We are all fighting for a dream, to fight for Him.
Guard our hearts, to protect our biological and spiritual families.
Ask our leaders for what is appropriate and not appropriate for us.
If the informative words come to you seems to be confusing for you to accept, then seek for a leader to guide you along, whether those words are appropriate or not. =)

2007-09-19T13:56:00.000+08:00

I thank God for today, because it's by His Grace and Love, I didnt fell sick, because my attachment is going to end at 2 days time! Faster clear it then I will have more time to do other stuffs, though there seems to be isnt much. Still praise Lord that I didnt managed to fall to a fever, because I am having sore throat and slightly blocked nose. Of course, I must keep good hand hygiene otherwise it will affect my patients. So it's like after procedure, touching stuffs, wash hands with washing foam, or hand rub.

It's an indeed a great day, because I managed to practise some things that are really hard to come by. Well more of it, I thank God for one thing. That is he is going back to his old church.
He received Christ when he was secondary school, and backslided due to work and personal stuffs. I thank God for my answered prayer. Recently, he broke up with her girlfriend, like 2 weeks ago, because her girlfriend didnt love him anymore, and he told one thing that someone once told him, "only those who are under Lord's covenant will then be together long." It did came through, praise God, though he is really missing out something in his life for the past weeks. Thank God, because God has made him changed his idea of thinking. He thought he can convert his girlfriend after marriage, but doesn't seems to be that way now. MY mum was worried during that time, though I felt kinda fine with it, because Lord has assured me much, on the other hand, I dun really care much because it's still a regaining-from-past-hurts period. So yup, my heart is like after 1 week then say. He is better now, really thank God. Going back to church is even better! REALLY REALLY THANK GOD! =)

I confess that I told someone a lie today.
I guess I doesnt feel that right to tell him ba. =/

There's another thing I dunno whether I want to thank God or not, because it kinda confuses me. I dun like my attachment much, but on the other hand, it teaches me a lot. So guess I should thank God, it may makes me dislike it, but whenever I overcome, I doesnt have the sense of satisfaction, instead a deeper hunger was created within me. I guess God is making me hunger for more and more of His work, and sense of fulfillment. But I will never forget what He has told us at the start of the year, 'when we are doing His work, do not miss out His Spirit.' It applies to me, and I believe it applies to others too. =) Every thing that happens I give thanks to God, because it's all planned out.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”- Philippians 4:4
I should be happy, and indeed I am, for all He has done. =)

27If some unbeliever invites you to a meal and you want to go, eat whatever is put before you without raising questions of conscience. 28But if anyone says to you, "This has been offered in sacrifice," then do not eat it, both for the sake of the man who told you and for conscience' sake[d]— 29the other man's conscience, I mean, not yours. For why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience? 30If I take part in the meal with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for?
31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— 33even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.
1 Corinthians 10: 27-32

I begin to realise there's actually a freedom for us, to choose lots of things in our lives. But what God hopes to see from is that, we are able to put others' salvations in front of ourselves.Whatever we does in life, we may give glory to God, and under the freedom of choices we have, we shall not choose what is not right in His Eyes. Not for ourselves, but for our friends and those who are around us. =)

Praise GOd. =)

2007-09-06T21:25:00.002+08:00

Thank God today, setting such a beautiful day.
I thank God for one thing, that is at one of my lowest moment in my life so far, I managed to hold my feets on, by His grace, His Love and the Words that is spoke through His people. Today, I was actually looking at my friends' attitude towards me, especially one particular friend, somemore same secondary school with me. Sometimes I said, "bye", no one cares. I said "hi", no one cares. Or the best, just turn their faces away after they saw me. Maybe my cold and lame jokes can really cool one down, but was thatt the attitude I should be facing? I dunno, but I know one thing.
In the days of the future, I will face more and more of these. What can I expect from them?

Simply, nothing at all.
The main thing is, I must constant keep my attitude right and cheerful. Then "Five Loaves and Two Fishes" and "Beautiful Seed" were running in my head. =) Then next moment, I was giving thanks to God. =) I told God, "just use me, I am giving my all."
I am at a oncology ward, the spirit of cancer, depression and especially death(because got another patient passed away) are there. Most importantly, I am the flagbearer to stand still, holding His Flag to protect the people from all spirits, while on the other hand, welcoming Holy Spirit. =)
Today, while I was serving one of most irritating patients in my life, so far (and I shalll call him Bed 4), he's actually having sort of diarrhea. I guess I have forgotton something in my life. Well, we have changed his diapers like 3 to 4 times, due to something which he took before a procedure.
So ya, I need to confess that, I actually dislike the patient, and I was thinking in my mind, "wah this kind of people, who has a family which is christians, wants everything to be good, but cant do the same". But at the end of the day, I repented. He said something that has actually touched my heart and bring me back to the Cross. He said something sort of like, I am his best partner, and without me, he guess he wont be there.
Well, my tears wanted to drop as I smiled and shared it with my friends, but it didn't, and turned me back to Christ. I thank God for my heart is soft, and for his heart, that is appreciative. =)

Was it a Karma?
No it wasn't. It's also a Word from Christ too. Like how He thanks us to walk together with Him. Maybe there's one thing I had forgotton, I need to keep giving to Christ, but I forget that Christ is also giving me, and appreciating everything that we have worked out. After His death on the Cross, it doesnt end yet. He still continues to draw Himself to us, as we draw ourselves to Him more.

How about my attitude towards my friends?
Well, it's the minority who is treating me this way.
What happens if all treat me like this?
I can't say that wouldn't happened, but whatever so, I will still give the same amount of concern to my friends. He who gives grace to me, who others deserve lesser grace than that? =) What makes me different from another is, Love. Christ chose Love to talk to me and speak to my heart, and my heart will be coated and filled with love, ready to be broken again, and through me, I will shine His deeds to His people.
Treating people with same and constantly good attitude trains one, because you chose to be used and built by Him again and again. You may be broken but He will mend you, and told you even greater stories of what He does. =) Don't you want to be like Him? =)
I also want to thank Dad taught me that. =)
These "scars" in life, is deeper and gone into the bones and heart. But bone that are broken, forms a stronger bond between cells, and I have stronger bones. The Spirit is my bones, the emotions are my flesh. =) It's actually these Scars makes me stronger in life. Not in hardening my heart, but form the SPirit in me, and be dependent on Him more and more. =)

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
1 Corinthians 9:24 to 27
What's the qualitifications of running the race?
How to make ourselves to be qualitfy to join the race?
Lots and lots. YOu may do all things.
Time, goal, training. But what takes and overcomes all these discipline to make yourself to work, it's the Heart, how much you desire, how much you wish it to God, and how much did you want to let God to control everything in your life?
An appreciative heart is more than any gift in this earth, because no gift is too small. =)
It speaks of how much Paul wanted to do:
*making his body as a slave from Christ.
*running towards God, for He is the Prize in Paul's Life.
*Glory that you believe it's from Him, belongs to you too. =)
*making Paul himself clean from sins and everything, so that God will look at Paul.

Do you want to work in Christ?
Do you want to finish the race and get the prize?
No gift is too small, because an appreciative heart is more than any gift in this earth.
It's all started just with a simple step, that is, read His Word and reflect with all your heart, just for that time. =)
It may means nothing to anyone here, but I can tell you this secretly... God loves it, especially you do it wholeheartedly, hees. =)

Dreams are what we make them to be.

There is hope in every heartbeat.
Tiny as it seems. You're a beautiful seed.
Every hope, every power,
lies in the heart of a seed that flowers.
Intertwined all across the land.
We're all seeds in the maker's hand.

A bible is like 5 loaves and 2 fishes.
And here, there's five loaves and two fishes in your hands. What will you do?
Thank God for everyone who is reading this, appreciate it. =)
Thank God for Dad and everyone and everything! Hees! =)

2007-09-06T21:25:00.001+08:00

I was saying sorry to Dad about some stuffs and some doubts in my life while in his Camry. I know I need to repent.
I want to thank God for one song. =)
I thank God that I am able to talk to Hui Mun. It's been some while that we seen him previously and thank God, it's yesterday I thought of changing churches, and I asked God to speak to me, as I listened to this beautiful song. =)

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned into night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox, at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus, the kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out with the trust of a child, he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as You will
I surrender
Take my fears, my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
To feed them all."

I often think about that boy when i'm feeling small
And i worry that the work i do means nothing at all
But every single tear i cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, i will offer up in prayer
So i'll give You every breath that i have
Oh Lord, You can work miracles
All You need is my "Amen"

So, take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as You will
I surrender
Take my fears, my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in You, i trust in You

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as You will
I surrender
Take my fears, my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

~Corrinne May, Five loaves and two fishes.

A very strong and powerful song.
I was so touched.=)
It's enlightening, and refreshing. It brings out a point of view, a young child who knows nothing, looking at the crowd, aroused by the talks that is in simplicity, which kids can understand. Wasn't that we are being aroused at first?

Who does what caught my attention?
Who's that always guard my heart, and always giving me a soft heart?
Who's that always looks after my back?
Who's the one guide me and comfort me, when I was a young crybaby?
Who's the one always try to make me felt stable in life, when I am lost?
Who's the one who lead me to a powerful and lots of faith parent in my life?

I guess, none can take each other place. Another thing is, I guess that's why I always gambled, and lost a lot. =D But really thank God, because He showed me, how I was a child and no matter how I behave, I am always a child in His Eyes. I have won, actually lots as compared anyone. He equipped me with wisdom and knowlegde, and use them wisely.
Thank God for everything. =)

Often I think I am small, but I realised something. I maybe holding just like the boy, only 5 loaves and 2 fishes, a normal child lunchbox, I cant do anything much, but hand my lunchbox to Jesus and let Him to do it. The keys are God, and the lunchbox and my willingness. Anything that concern about satisfying the hunger, He will do it and split the food nicely, and made it sufficient to feed the thousands.
That makes me suddenly realised like, I hold the keys for the church and His Kingdom to expand.
I need to repent, because I thought of plotting against the leaders that is in front of us. Within my spirit, I guess I wanted to fight and win lots of souls into Christ. On the other hand, improve the ways and the faults that most spiritual parents made, and if can, perfecting my children and others into powerful leaders and parents of each other's lives. At the same time, I must commit them to God, because only through Him things can work out, and all things become possible. =)
When I simply trust Him, and done my part, in this scenerio, handing my lunchbox to Him.
A trust in Him, like a child, with no doubts. =)

It spoke of His Love to us.
He never fails to fill us up and more, don't He? =)
So, just surrender to Him, your all and all.
No gift is too small, just give Him whatever you have. =)
Let your sacrifice of praise be given to Him. Even if it is smaller than mustard seed. =)

Be obedient? Be humble?
True, you need that. But all after all, you must have the willingness to choose to be close to Him. After you choose to connect with Him, He will be near you. Choose a person to connect to, and He will make the way. Then thank God for all these, work on maintaining the connection between both, allowing God to be in control, and putting effort in following up and teach the other, how to fish. BE humble, be straight and may all be come from goodwill.

So what do I hear from God after I listened to that song?
Grace, and if I want any changes, I must work towards that!
Complain no use, actions do.
It will starts as long I got a son, and slowly guide him. Certainly I will change my teachings from the past generations, with the guidance of God, Dad and other elders, and goes with His teachings.
Thank God for Helen's prayer for me. =)

Well guess what?
Morning as I woke up, I seems like I am being put to a test, lust of the flesh. Yes, my mind is corrupted with those thoughts, but luckily I asked God to pull me back into His Arms, otherwise, guess I am going to sin against the flesh again. =)

Thank God today, yesterday, the rest of the days that is to come, and the song. =)

10Surely he says this for us, doesn't he? Yes, this was written for us, because when the plowman plows and the thresher threshes, they ought to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest. 11If we have sown spiritual seed among you, is it too much if we reap a material harvest from you? 12If others have this right of support from you, shouldn't we have it all the more?

1 Corinthians 9:10-12.
It brings me back that about working alone in Christ. I thought of working by myself, since things cant be done on time sometimes, when we asked others. Consolidating someone, and planning to make him to stay in the church, and ask someone to further consolidate. Somehow he is being brought to other churches by someone. It used to agitate me that others bring the one I have been consolidating so long into other churches.

Lord told me this, Surely he says this for us?
Used to be agitated, but no longer now. Acknowlegding that we are Body of Christ, we are supposed to help each of us. Whether is it winning souls or growing in Christ, we are supposed to share each harvest. It's not the idea of Communism, but rather sharing the joy to others.

Winning souls are an effort working together, Where one is born, whether in which house of God, they can bring forth a revelation towards that House of God. =) He feeds us all to full, not only one. =)

Thank God for everything!

2007-09-06T21:19:00.000+08:00

I want to give thanks to God, who always reply to my questions and requests. =)
While I was crossing the road to the other side, I wanted to take a bus, 195, home. So God told me a 195 bus is coming after the red man appears.
When the red man appeared, I stopped and saw a bus 195 to go pass me, and with less traffic. I know I can actually make it before the red man appeared previously and of course I didnt, causing the bus to pass me by. And so, I wanted to take 186 while waiting for the green man to appear, and guess what, bus 186 really appeared but it's coming soon, so I took the risk to jaywalk. Quickly I ran towards the bus stop. I wanna thank God, because He also helped me to stop the bus by the appearing of the green man, because after I jaywalked, the green man appeared and the bus stop, making time for me to run to the bus stop.
Maybe there's are really some things that are meant to break my heart and make me whole once again, and when there's a second chance, I will then strive my best. I thank God for building me. =)
Today, actually wanted to meet Helen and her friends for a run but I had something on at night, and ended up, I went late for it and everything ended. But thank God, I still make a point to go, with a happy heart, though it's over.
He answered my prayers. I wanted to have a dinner with a female friend, but on the other hand, trying to make it like a group dinner, I asked Wayne(Under Uncle Ee Jay) and Chris (under Uncle Leo) for dinner. My heart says, dun like, but I wil still do it. Cynthia was there, talking to her.

A wrong perception about another person will always come out from my heart, and there is always a doubt. But somehow, I know I have to repent because it's okay for me, but it's not right for me to think of that way, because the Truth is not like this. So I was looking in my heart, am I wanting too much physical contacts, and my female friend, tell me another thing, that is whenever man touches a lady, it's like a screw into his head. Who's head? My Father in Heaven's head and my head.
Immediately I can have an imagination of feeling towards it, because it thrills one man. On the other hand, I was like, acting like "Frankestein", like a joke to go with the verse.
A touch from a man to a lady is a screw into his head, and I think of it, it's a suffering as well, and a vicious cycle.
A vicious cycle because it will makes one hooked on doing that. Some will be blinded by that touch, because they thought only through this way, can make the relationship last longer, which is not, after some reflection upon what Dad has told me and I realised, as I ask God. =)
It's actually just the presence of that person that we really enjoyed and his very being. Whether where she or he is, just think of it and you will just smile, just because of it and you will like, "ahh!!! Thank God that he/she is here...". This and that. =) well, I really thank God about her appearance in my life, everyone who is around me and my families. =)

I wanna thank God for another thing, that is, He sent me a $30 cheque just in time because just then, my hi card just need to top up, hees. Thank God. =)

“What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.”- 2 Timothy 1:13-14

I see some of the people walk with very weak strength in themselves, but really inspires me is that, they are always so dependent on Christ and always believing in Him. That's something that makes them very strong, a heart that He will never despise. =) They are weak in guarding their heart, so they always let God to protect them and what's within them strongly. =)

19Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
1 Corinthians 9:19 to 23.
I do realised I do not like a lot of things in this world(neither one of us here), but I am supposed to make peace with people around and hold on what He has set, that is the Ten Commandments, for us. It doesnt meant to be easy, but as I began to get in touch with a lot of people, a lot of needs in their lives also surfaced, and challenges are up for us to take. It doesnt take much to take the challenges, because they are all objectives. The greatest challenge is the constant changes in their hearts. Are you be able to ask god to show you the way they are walking? and are you courageous enough to walk and find that person to understand him/her better?
All christians love God, because none knows us better than Him, but the point is, are we able to take out the step and work things out? And do you really feel His heartbeat? =)

You can fill the darkness with just one flash of light
Break the silence with just one word
One defiance starts a revolution
One life can save the world

On the steps of Washington, spriked like confetti
Thousands of people sing, ‘We shall overcome’
The preacher shouts: ‘Let freedom ring’
He gave his life for what he bellowed

You can be a witness, You can be a prophet, You can make the whole world believe
Break the strongest fortress, Change the way the world thinks
You can build a bridge where foes can meet
Hope for the future, Shout it don’t whisper
Dreams are what we make them to be
There is hope in every heartbeat, Tiny as it seems, You are a beautiful seed

Dreams are what we make them to be.
There is hope in every heartbeat.
Tiny as it seems. You're a beautiful seed.
Every hope, every power,
lies in the heart of a seed that flowers.
Intertwined all across the land.
We're all seeds in the maker's hand.

You, me, all and all are like seeds, no form, but with a heartbeat within ourselves, we will win all, especially the weak. Praise God. =)

2007-08-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

What do I want?
I want the others who doesnt know God to be with Him. All I wanted is that seeing Him and escort me to Heaven, and His Love to known and calling others to His work and enjoying the very presenc of Him.
What do I have to do in order to complete that?

I will have to follow up and do lots of stuffs. Doing His Work, on the other hand, enjoying His presence. =) Like today's movie outing, went out with Tammy, and my friend, and my friend's friend, and my friend's friend's 7 other friends. We watched the Secret. Haha, well well, God told me a lot of secrets too. Hees, secrets to my friends to salvations and lots of tests ahead for people to went through. When people doesnt believe it, I guess my belief in Christ will be a breakthrough in others' lives.

It may seems to be sadistic, but I thank God that I am glad that He told me about these things, and opened my eyes to these things that can be seen through. I give thanks to God today, really.
This attachment, is actually a breakthrough for me. I guess I am in my comfort zone for too long, that's why comes this attachment. It's a very anointed attachment. =D

Nurses dont care much, only the Clinician Instructor guiding us. One of the staff told me, the nurses dun feed us. Maybe the-need-to-be-probe is too much. Guess it's time we must learn how to fly like eagles. Asking around what can we do to help. They are not too fierce and they are there to guide only. They won't scold us, and we must be thickskinned to let them scold.=) We might not know what to do, but I believe the very initiative and motivation is very needed for this time's attachment. The equipping with God's knowlegde is great this time, and moving with the Spirit is perfectly came in time. I guess Holy Spirit is always in move, just that we dunno how to act. =) The nurses there seems to have attitude problems, but the very problem is do we really catch the opportunities? =)
Luckily is 3 weeks. And wasted it's 3 weeks, just for this attachment. =)
As a nurse, we must learn to be able to independent before we could actually join our thoughts and experience, united as one, to work and to fight as one body. It's actually the Body of Christ. =) And I need to repent and confess that I have actually misunderstood what the nurses wanted to input. =)
Everything that has a limit has never been too short, but just sufficient for us. =)
Won't it be nice? =)

Managed to talk with my sister about her boyfriend. A very nice, sensible and gentle man. =) As I talked to my sister how she has treated her boyfriend, that is she can be quite ridiculous sometimes and pride. After all, it's what God and Dad and others has taught me. Humble enough to say sorry, knowing our tempers and knowing how to be ourselves, child-like(not childish) whenever we need to. Growing deep with each other, in love, in trust and knowing each other better. If that someone you love, is willing to fight with you, he/she is certainly worth your love. =) One of the best example, is God.
He never fails to be with you. =) Walking through life and death, through different stages in life. =) He can be your soulmate, and you have to find someone like Him. =)

“Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”- John 6:29
An answer from Christ worth more than whatever in this world.
I need to repent that, I shouldnt have judged the Catholics. =/

What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

1 Corinthians 7: 29 to 31
Out of all, what God want to say? Do all the things in the whole world, like you have never done before in your life, faced each similar or even same situations like each and every different events in life, like you have not deal with it before, so that you can be mould into a very special person. It's like facing the Lord, always feeling so fresh when you prayed or talking with Him. =) Or have you lost the touch of it? =)

Humans are very conformed to the things of these world. Yeah, you may seems to be dealing with yourself, but somehow you do not how to deal with the people around, or maybe dunno how to be practical ba. =) But lead by the Spirit and use what He has taught you, and ask Him to guide you, feel His heart and you will be doing the God way. =)

32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7: 32 to 35
Our God, wanted us to be free from concerns but well, He knows our needs. He knows how to bend and stretch us. =) He sees our needs. Marriage may cause more needs in our lives and real mess in our lives. But that's how it builds us even more. Maybe some will lose their focus in their lives in Christ. An unmarried man can do more because he dun have those.
What's the focus in these verses?
He wanted us that, no matter what happened in our lives, dun lose the focus of Him in our lives. Come to Him first, and you will have His promise. =) Others may seems to be different from you, even your spouse. But God will be the same always and forever for you. =)
Job is a very good example. =)

2007-08-29T21:19:00.000+08:00

What about you? Who do you say I am.

To me, maybe sometimes He's with me.
Sometimes, He is totally me.
Sometimes, He's not with me.

He's part of my life, maybe at least 50% to 80%, most.
Part of my life. How to make Him totally of my life? That comes the willingness within me.
He's the Lord of All, when I am whole heartedly surrendered to Him. That needs time, to allow God to show me, that when I am available, He is able. =)

Today actually made an effort to go out with friends, guildmates in Maplestory and had promised them, but in the end all cant make it, but still managed to see some of them around, and mixing well with them. I thank God that I still made it in the end to attend the conference. It's led by the Spirit indeed. Well, thank God for the Holy Spirit, it's through Him, that we are able to proclaim, Jesus is Lord. =)

The time spent today was totally splendid. Though I wasn't in afternoon blessings actions, God taught me a very important lesson, about prodical son ( I hope that I had spelt the word correctly.) I have learnt whatever mistake I may have done, God has shown me(it's in the nurses' rules and regulations too), taking up responsibility and support all the way. The Lord has blessed me lots, just today.

My sister has a boyfriend, most people knows that. Home rules, not supposed to bring her bf into the house, but I did allowed, because her bf and her just sitting there using computer. Okay. I supported her to the relationship, at the same time, I want her to be accountable about her relationship to me, I will support her all the way.
I did talked to her bf, he is clear about what is his priorities, and sometimes quite troubled. I thank God for that time when her bf shares with me.

I didnt like relationship during that period of time, especially O levels. On the other hand, what her bf says is true, that even if his mum dun like and she knows, his mum doesnt say it much, because they have the heart for their child, and know that it will affect him and his studies, with a mixed feeling.
A very personally heart from God. If you walked the inappropriate way, He will still help you and support you. As long as you have the thoughts of coming back, you are welcomed at all times.
During that time, when I was actually allowed my sis's bf to come in, I am actually planting seeds into them. I got a feeling that her bf is going to join my church after this year. So, haha. Dunno, depends. =)

A talk with UNCLE Nyklus, has actually enlightened me lots in my life.
It brings me back where I have started, yes it's important to know the Truth, but what's more important about the Heart of God. =) I may have done lots in my life and Ps YC has shared lots today, however, there are actually secondary and primary things that Satan wanted Jesus to do.

Satan is using the secondary purpose like speaks word to make stones into breads, and the primary motive was to test whether Jesus is Christ. It makes a double questions, with an answer. So Jesus replied in perfect answer."Every man shall not leave by bread, but every words breathed by God." =)

Satan is testing Jesus to say his identity, which is nothing to Christ at all.
A name is just a name. What makes the difference is the heart that allowing Him to work and pursuing His Words.

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:10 to 11.
Why is this so important? What does it have effects on others?
Out of everything for us, so far I have learnt, marriage is actually a covenant built with God between two persons, sealed with a vow.
Yet Lord wants us to repent and to realise how much both hav done for each other. A lot of things to learn, like forgiveness and trust. Walking through with each other, a challenge to all couples, but a perfect breakthrough and empowerment to the covenant and relationship. =)

Lots more to learn, like the flexibility of Christ also. =) Everything in Christ may seems to have a clear cut, and work with Him, you may found great wonders with all those lives. Others may say this, or other may says that, rules and principles, yes it's important because it protects us and guide us.

Praise God. =)

2007-08-12T01:56:00.000+08:00

Today I almost mised out the opportunity to come out with Shawn and his freind, Ming Hui. It's Minghui's birthday tomorrow,12/8, though I sent my email out late. But thanks be to God, who always reminded me about one thing, "He is able if you are available." I add on another sentence, "He will mould you more, when you desire about Him for more."

Today it may seems kinda, like a task to ask Shawn out to study together even though movies plan with Shawn and Ming Hui and another friend were cancelled, still must thank God because God knows I have no $$! Haha, and I wanted to go to Hougnag Mal very much to see how Wendy works, haha. (because she works around there as part time, there's sonce she saw us at there, but we didnt, that's why=D) I didnt really managed to catch up much with Shawn, and guess what, I didnt know his exams coming up, kinda disappointed with myself, because he is my brother leh (somemore plus cell buddy, haiz), must care even more la, otherwise how to care for my children in the future...? I believe every step we take now, is something that we dun like a lot, it leads us to the future, every step is a brick, and God uses that opportunity to mould us, into like Him, before going deeper, into refining our characteristic, and to become almost as perfect as Christ. =)

GOD LIKE! =D

Praise GOd, that I made an effort to go out with Shawn and studied. Even though we are studying different subjects, I still thank God, because it's so little I know of my brothers, especially all of us. I felt like that is a spiritual warfare in each of us, even Dad, also experiencing it. Guess Dad needs a lot of support.

He felt his helplessness, but who is there for him?
*Our Uncles are busy. Not a good excuse though.
*Granddaddy is also busy.

Who can he turn to? His Colleagues?
I just it's just a simple touch from us. =) He is a HUMAN after all. And Dad is now holding God very tight. He is very dried up and broken. I thank God for that still, because God is still breaking him and empowering him. Interestingly, as much as he asked us to send sms to other brothers especially to the army guys, he needs it too, becaue he too felt that same feelings. =)
Does means that we must missed out brothers out too?
I dun think so, and no 'but'.
Jia you Shawn didi, I am covering your back wor, and I am poud of you.

Dad, I am proud of you too. You may not have someone standing beside you and affirming you, but still I thank God that you are still holding Him tightly. You know He's beside you, Jia you wor Daddy! =)

I thank God that I saw this verse.
“I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches.”- Psalm 119:14
I was thinking how poor our souls are, and indeed those who are richest and may be most intelligent person, pursuing the things in this world, have a common thing, they are poor. They are poor in their lives, and most importantly, they have or felt poor in their souls. In their hearts, it's like a bottomless pit, so they searched for lots of things like...

*relationship for love to fill the emptiness in hearts
*work to numb their hearts and be ignorant to all things
* thinking that friends is the best, making up for friends when they felt they have done wrong, which they did not.
*some may choose to have materials in this world to fill their insatisfaction, while some look for "fun"(not Dad) at night or ONS.

When seeking the Lord these few days, I felt kinda rejuvenated, somehow not enough... and yup, I asked for more. God-addict, I guess haha. =D I felt kinda fullest in my life, never lack of anything, unless God wants me to go into love love love! =D
Relationship, is something very interesting, yet accountability to our leaders are very important, because they can guide us into a state that we can even progress in a faster way. Haha! =)

Divisions in the Church
10I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. 11My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. 12What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas[a]"; still another, "I follow Christ."

13Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into[b] the name of Paul? 14I am thankful that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15so no one can say that you were baptized into my name. 16(Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I don't remember if I baptized anyone else.) 17For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with words of human wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

1 Corinthians 1:10 to 17

Everyone has their hearts and their mindset, it's different from one another that is what Christ has created us. Yes, as each of own individuals has a different mindsets and ideals, what would that means? Do we really should stand away from one another and pursue what is within our mind, and going towards our goals, becoming self-centred, looking upon ourselves, and not united in seeking God?

Is Christ divided? Are we baptised in different names?

It's like what Paul has said, it's not him who is crucified on the Cross but Christ. Yes, we may not be perfect in our ways, yet, we are bodies of Christ to form together as one. YOu may think we can be connected to work hand in hand, and given an instruction by a leader. Yes that is true, but what thoughts can be perfect if it didnt come out from Christ? Human's instruction wasnt quite perfect, it has its consequences. But when one who seeks God with all his heart, his thoughts and mindset will be like Christ, and if everyone becomes like that, the thoughts of the people will be united as one. We do not work hand in hand towards instruction, but towards mind to mind, that makes us supernatural, because we know what each christian want to do.

It's doesnt mean much when we re working for same thing, but it meant something when our hearts are all for one thing. It's like 100k blessings.
You can choose to say this,"hi, my church is holding a 100k event, will you like to take part?"
People can reject that when they heard it's from church, if they are kinda skeptical.
It will be different if you put it this way,"hi, with this coming of celebrating of this special national day, together with this special event, our church has come out with a special event, that is to bless people around us, so will you mind to take part of it?"
Diverting their attention onto other things, then bring them and infused the knowledge of Christ slowly.

There are attractive things like people and events attracting other people, and making them stay in a church. Slowly and regularly, infuse the knowledge of Christ into them effectively, and follow up, and God will mould them and change their targets in life from other things into Christ, something that can make stay forever in Christ. That's simply great. =)
Too bad in us, we missed out something. =/

It also talks about when minds are connected with God, ideas can be very complex and creative to deal with all sorts of people, yet to the end for same, very purpose, that is to preach the gospel to the others. =)
Doesnt it seems longer?
Of course it does, and it takes time, but God has given you life, and now you have the time of the whole world. Yet, it's worth it, because at the very end, you managed to hold that person in Christ most of the time. =)

Thanks be to God who shows me all these. =)

2007-08-10T22:28:00.000+08:00

Been feeling down the whole day, after sinning against my body. But thank God, I still went out with Samuel and his friends, great too! =)

I went to see "Secret" (不能说的秘密)today.

I guess it's by God's grace today that I went to watch Secret, because Samuel wanted to watch Rush Hour 3, which has a remarks from Samuel's cousins. =)
In the end, out of my expectation, from the sms I received from Samuel, it's "Secret" that we went to watch.

It's a kinda funny, romantic and great show. The director, Jay Chou, had experienced in directing Music Video, this time His directing for this movie was great. Sorry if I dunno how to say how to say whether the director is good or not. But I think, what he has done is very good already. Everything is not too messy. =) It has its meaning inside. You can go and watch it. REally recommended! =)

Every romance that one went through has a song, such as for this time Secret, it has "不能说的秘密" by Jay this time. I guess for mine, even though it's kinda weird, I have been encountering a song called, 恋爱达人. The best thing is, one day can encounter 3 times, it seems like this song is really finding me. =D Maybe I can be good at attracting gals and talk to them =D, but well, I still can only one in the end.

I thank God, I know whatever I have done cannot bring cover my sins, yet He who dies for me, gives me grace and mercy for these few days. He brings me back once again, the reconcilation of our relationship between Our Heavenly Father and me. I was asking Him, what can I do to fill me the loss of Him? It's to desire and come back to Him, asking for His Presence more and more, always seeking Him, like how King David's heart. =)

I realised that I am fighting the battle sometimes, alone and there's a limit, like Achillies. He is indeed great. I was listening to one song, that says,

"Because all I want is more of you.."
~ All my days, Paradise Band.

God didn't say much, He just left me with this phrase. More of Christ and even best, all of Christ. =) I dunno whether I can give him a bit more or a bit lesser, but I will try my best to give my all to Him. Just that phrase of lyrics, it leads to me to my answer, and certainly that is God's answer to me too. =) Thank God for that answer. =) And I guess, Dad, no need to reply my email le about Sins de. =) But Dad, you still have to pray for me hor! =)

I was reading a chapter and only fasted from food till halfway. God speaked to me when I was reading the chapter. I broke and confessed my fast, before I drink nice grass jelly milk. Because inside got grass jelly, if it's milk tea, that will be a different case. But whether is it or not, it's done so yup, I am going to extend my fast, wahaha! Just to be discipline and correct myself ba, especially every monday, where Shawn didi and Justin will go round and pray for the school. Starts from 12. =) Join us along if you can. =)

The book I am reading is Every Day with Jesus, the free sample from FOP, yet a very nice book=).

Continued from the chapter, about "the Shape of Soul", it talks about what actually our souls are actually made for God's Word. It seems like "you are what you eat" but that doesnt means that you eat nuts, you are nuts. =D

On the other hand, we do not really function that properly in our daily lives, not to sins and running from other sins, because all we take is the words from men like it's okay to do certain things to your body (like sex) because it's health. But to us it's one of the most sacred thing, because it signifies the unification of the two different genders bodies. Often the views from the world and most of the time, they holds critical view onto this world and to His people. The shape of our souls should be mould by Him. It's not by the words from others or anything, but believe in His Word in everything. Be sensitive, but not too critical to His Words upon on you. you will receive more than what you wanted, and usually, things that are really unexpected, maybe something that is lost long ago, and it's coming back to you again.=)

You will never know. To some, it's relationships that they can went back to the past and amend it. but whatever actions we do, it adds onto more consequences, just that maybe the outcomes have more or less side effects, and whether we dare to bear it or not. =)

My friend said I am very holy, haha, but I dun think so and I need to improve on that. =) It's like things on the earth. No one, nothing is actually able to be good in this world like weapons. It can be used to protect or kill people.
It doesnt matter what is its purpose, but it does matter when it comes to handling of the things and what is the true purpose in your heart and outcome of a topic when you are handling it.

Just follow His Words. =)

Another thing is, knowing our limits. It's very important to know our limits before we pushes our limits to highest level. I didn't really know my limits well, and went to see pornography and end up sinning against my body, my families, and ultimately, God. Feeling remorsed is nothing, but knowing what to do and repent and pray, was what I need to do for the moment after I knew I am sinned.
My relationship with God is needed so much that whatever I do, He will be there for me and I must prevent myself from sinning again. =)

=The Chain can never be lost by God's grace,in fact, it's always staying beside me.=

2007-08-08T10:43:00.000+08:00

Been studying?
Nope.

Been playing and slacking?
Yes.

Haiz. I looked at myself everyday, I wonder what I can do inside me. I seems to be kinda big responsibility. I guess the path that I choose to walk was real, that is choose Christ and accept Him into my life. Otherwise my life is a mess now. Sure got lots of sinful desires and got lots of ex-galfriends, hurting each of them.
thank God that I am in Christ. =)

Great resposibilities in my life... why?
No one seems to really care in the family. Everyone is working their best for their work. Tiring. So that time I choose to walk with God and Dad was so right. And I guess, in fact friends are better than those who are in church. Seriously, maybe someday I will be like Hui Mun, dropping out.

But somehow, another thought came to my mind. All of us in the cell is stubborn, including me. haha. So what must I do?

Pick a few potential people within the tribe and rise up. There is surely a few, especially the gals' side. It will not be easy because our age group is very wide (16 to 27) all in different areas working. But thank be to God, because He allows me to see that yes, there is a great chance that all of us will have children and Dad will have a great time managing us. Our age gap has actually become a net for us, for us to be able to outreach to people. Dad didnt really say much but surely, in his heart since he knows he cant do much, so yup, he lets us to explore. =)

Dad have not chosen his 12 yet.
Insecurity that I wont be under his 12. I think certainly there is, but whatever the outcome goes, I will be the flagbearer of the family, of the Isaiah tribe.

Lots of time, I asked for God's healing for my families. But wonder this, was our family really that weak?

SO yup, it's all so much. Unanswered questions. So much insecurity.
Yet, thanks be to God who always lead us in trimuphant process. =)

EDITED: That very day, I guess I am at the lowest.=/