there's a breakthrough in life today... really glad. =)
my heart and my tears flows as words spoke out of my mouth, asking for repentance, and thus repentance is given...even writing this tears are also preparing from my eyes. my heart now is like the song "heart of worship"...

Devil: you can never be that righteous in front of Him, though i am trying, and we can never do, because He is too holy.
Holy Spirit: remember what Jesus has done? what is His purpose on the Cross?

a new "myself", what can i bring to the world?
dunno.
am i a hinderance?
yes, like to disturb others training,
what should i do?
okay, not my field, and i shall go away, submit to what my authories that asked me too. of course i understand the reason.

Life is hard to get by nowdays, either i am super free or super busy. sian, i just hope something in my life will pop out... like my nanny!

past few days i saw my nanny. age is catching her, and no longer that fit. but can see that she still misses us and loves both my younger sister and me. of course we did miss her but maybe not as much as her ba. she is a very kind and strict lady. because she taught me well when i was young, otherwise you can see i am walking with my anterior half of my soles, like a demon lol. asked her to miss us when she's free, she is still that sweet. =) and yuppy! today saw her again! yeah! =)

yesterday i have a family dinner at my residential area. after that while everyone went to buy something else, except leaving my father and me, i wanted to hold his hand, like when i was young, but you know what he says? he said people will think that we are gay lol. alright dun hold nevermind. =) it was a nice catch up with all my "life-builders" in my life.

every moment is so sweet. =)

i began to realise that hey, maybe the relationship between our family is still there, but what really changes them and their views?
love
what make people trust each other?
love.
what will make us want to change their bad habits?
love

it's all out of love.
certainly that's something the world lack of. wherever people goes, they will still find ome the best, because love is in it, no matter what is it form or from.

and how can they felt it?
simply when a whole family go out for meal, you can just initial to take something and place it on their bowls or plates, of course take something they like, and they will feel your sincerity.
it's a type of respect.
it's a type of serving and honouring them.
it's an act of love.

i heard that before people who are being served, that person must be very helpless or "weak" in certain ways. but to my point of view, i think it's a type of humility, even a leader for the nation will also have to serve their parents. i dare to challenge that type of thinking. no matter is there any religion values, and my question is that,
not even our parents deserve this type of serving and respect?
who are them?

of course i dislike that sentence to a very much extent.

my feelings are back, and i seems like i know myself. it will take a super long time, but i will continue my journey to know who i am, what i am in His plan. being rational is something i dun like, but i know i must do it.

Praise Lord for everything,
and give thanks in all circumstances!
Hallelujah! =)

~Leaders are special people who do things that people do not understand~