What do I want?
I want the others who doesnt know God to be with Him. All I wanted is that seeing Him and escort me to Heaven, and His Love to known and calling others to His work and enjoying the very presenc of Him.
What do I have to do in order to complete that?

I will have to follow up and do lots of stuffs. Doing His Work, on the other hand, enjoying His presence. =) Like today's movie outing, went out with Tammy, and my friend, and my friend's friend, and my friend's friend's 7 other friends. We watched the Secret. Haha, well well, God told me a lot of secrets too. Hees, secrets to my friends to salvations and lots of tests ahead for people to went through. When people doesnt believe it, I guess my belief in Christ will be a breakthrough in others' lives.

It may seems to be sadistic, but I thank God that I am glad that He told me about these things, and opened my eyes to these things that can be seen through. I give thanks to God today, really.
This attachment, is actually a breakthrough for me. I guess I am in my comfort zone for too long, that's why comes this attachment. It's a very anointed attachment. =D

Nurses dont care much, only the Clinician Instructor guiding us. One of the staff told me, the nurses dun feed us. Maybe the-need-to-be-probe is too much. Guess it's time we must learn how to fly like eagles. Asking around what can we do to help. They are not too fierce and they are there to guide only. They won't scold us, and we must be thickskinned to let them scold.=) We might not know what to do, but I believe the very initiative and motivation is very needed for this time's attachment. The equipping with God's knowlegde is great this time, and moving with the Spirit is perfectly came in time. I guess Holy Spirit is always in move, just that we dunno how to act. =) The nurses there seems to have attitude problems, but the very problem is do we really catch the opportunities? =)
Luckily is 3 weeks. And wasted it's 3 weeks, just for this attachment. =)
As a nurse, we must learn to be able to independent before we could actually join our thoughts and experience, united as one, to work and to fight as one body. It's actually the Body of Christ. =) And I need to repent and confess that I have actually misunderstood what the nurses wanted to input. =)
Everything that has a limit has never been too short, but just sufficient for us. =)
Won't it be nice? =)

Managed to talk with my sister about her boyfriend. A very nice, sensible and gentle man. =) As I talked to my sister how she has treated her boyfriend, that is she can be quite ridiculous sometimes and pride. After all, it's what God and Dad and others has taught me. Humble enough to say sorry, knowing our tempers and knowing how to be ourselves, child-like(not childish) whenever we need to. Growing deep with each other, in love, in trust and knowing each other better. If that someone you love, is willing to fight with you, he/she is certainly worth your love. =) One of the best example, is God.
He never fails to be with you. =) Walking through life and death, through different stages in life. =) He can be your soulmate, and you have to find someone like Him. =)

“Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”- John 6:29
An answer from Christ worth more than whatever in this world.
I need to repent that, I shouldnt have judged the Catholics. =/

What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

1 Corinthians 7: 29 to 31
Out of all, what God want to say? Do all the things in the whole world, like you have never done before in your life, faced each similar or even same situations like each and every different events in life, like you have not deal with it before, so that you can be mould into a very special person. It's like facing the Lord, always feeling so fresh when you prayed or talking with Him. =) Or have you lost the touch of it? =)

Humans are very conformed to the things of these world. Yeah, you may seems to be dealing with yourself, but somehow you do not how to deal with the people around, or maybe dunno how to be practical ba. =) But lead by the Spirit and use what He has taught you, and ask Him to guide you, feel His heart and you will be doing the God way. =)

32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7: 32 to 35
Our God, wanted us to be free from concerns but well, He knows our needs. He knows how to bend and stretch us. =) He sees our needs. Marriage may cause more needs in our lives and real mess in our lives. But that's how it builds us even more. Maybe some will lose their focus in their lives in Christ. An unmarried man can do more because he dun have those.
What's the focus in these verses?
He wanted us that, no matter what happened in our lives, dun lose the focus of Him in our lives. Come to Him first, and you will have His promise. =) Others may seems to be different from you, even your spouse. But God will be the same always and forever for you. =)
Job is a very good example. =)

What about you? Who do you say I am.

To me, maybe sometimes He's with me.
Sometimes, He is totally me.
Sometimes, He's not with me.

He's part of my life, maybe at least 50% to 80%, most.
Part of my life. How to make Him totally of my life? That comes the willingness within me.
He's the Lord of All, when I am whole heartedly surrendered to Him. That needs time, to allow God to show me, that when I am available, He is able. =)

Today actually made an effort to go out with friends, guildmates in Maplestory and had promised them, but in the end all cant make it, but still managed to see some of them around, and mixing well with them. I thank God that I still made it in the end to attend the conference. It's led by the Spirit indeed. Well, thank God for the Holy Spirit, it's through Him, that we are able to proclaim, Jesus is Lord. =)

The time spent today was totally splendid. Though I wasn't in afternoon blessings actions, God taught me a very important lesson, about prodical son ( I hope that I had spelt the word correctly.) I have learnt whatever mistake I may have done, God has shown me(it's in the nurses' rules and regulations too), taking up responsibility and support all the way. The Lord has blessed me lots, just today.

My sister has a boyfriend, most people knows that. Home rules, not supposed to bring her bf into the house, but I did allowed, because her bf and her just sitting there using computer. Okay. I supported her to the relationship, at the same time, I want her to be accountable about her relationship to me, I will support her all the way.
I did talked to her bf, he is clear about what is his priorities, and sometimes quite troubled. I thank God for that time when her bf shares with me.

I didnt like relationship during that period of time, especially O levels. On the other hand, what her bf says is true, that even if his mum dun like and she knows, his mum doesnt say it much, because they have the heart for their child, and know that it will affect him and his studies, with a mixed feeling.
A very personally heart from God. If you walked the inappropriate way, He will still help you and support you. As long as you have the thoughts of coming back, you are welcomed at all times.
During that time, when I was actually allowed my sis's bf to come in, I am actually planting seeds into them. I got a feeling that her bf is going to join my church after this year. So, haha. Dunno, depends. =)

A talk with UNCLE Nyklus, has actually enlightened me lots in my life.
It brings me back where I have started, yes it's important to know the Truth, but what's more important about the Heart of God. =) I may have done lots in my life and Ps YC has shared lots today, however, there are actually secondary and primary things that Satan wanted Jesus to do.

Satan is using the secondary purpose like speaks word to make stones into breads, and the primary motive was to test whether Jesus is Christ. It makes a double questions, with an answer. So Jesus replied in perfect answer."Every man shall not leave by bread, but every words breathed by God." =)

Satan is testing Jesus to say his identity, which is nothing to Christ at all.
A name is just a name. What makes the difference is the heart that allowing Him to work and pursuing His Words.

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:10 to 11.
Why is this so important? What does it have effects on others?
Out of everything for us, so far I have learnt, marriage is actually a covenant built with God between two persons, sealed with a vow.
Yet Lord wants us to repent and to realise how much both hav done for each other. A lot of things to learn, like forgiveness and trust. Walking through with each other, a challenge to all couples, but a perfect breakthrough and empowerment to the covenant and relationship. =)

Lots more to learn, like the flexibility of Christ also. =) Everything in Christ may seems to have a clear cut, and work with Him, you may found great wonders with all those lives. Others may say this, or other may says that, rules and principles, yes it's important because it protects us and guide us.

Praise God. =)

Today I almost mised out the opportunity to come out with Shawn and his freind, Ming Hui. It's Minghui's birthday tomorrow,12/8, though I sent my email out late. But thanks be to God, who always reminded me about one thing, "He is able if you are available." I add on another sentence, "He will mould you more, when you desire about Him for more."

Today it may seems kinda, like a task to ask Shawn out to study together even though movies plan with Shawn and Ming Hui and another friend were cancelled, still must thank God because God knows I have no $$! Haha, and I wanted to go to Hougnag Mal very much to see how Wendy works, haha. (because she works around there as part time, there's sonce she saw us at there, but we didnt, that's why=D) I didnt really managed to catch up much with Shawn, and guess what, I didnt know his exams coming up, kinda disappointed with myself, because he is my brother leh (somemore plus cell buddy, haiz), must care even more la, otherwise how to care for my children in the future...? I believe every step we take now, is something that we dun like a lot, it leads us to the future, every step is a brick, and God uses that opportunity to mould us, into like Him, before going deeper, into refining our characteristic, and to become almost as perfect as Christ. =)

GOD LIKE! =D

Praise GOd, that I made an effort to go out with Shawn and studied. Even though we are studying different subjects, I still thank God, because it's so little I know of my brothers, especially all of us. I felt like that is a spiritual warfare in each of us, even Dad, also experiencing it. Guess Dad needs a lot of support.

He felt his helplessness, but who is there for him?
*Our Uncles are busy. Not a good excuse though.
*Granddaddy is also busy.

Who can he turn to? His Colleagues?
I just it's just a simple touch from us. =) He is a HUMAN after all. And Dad is now holding God very tight. He is very dried up and broken. I thank God for that still, because God is still breaking him and empowering him. Interestingly, as much as he asked us to send sms to other brothers especially to the army guys, he needs it too, becaue he too felt that same feelings. =)
Does means that we must missed out brothers out too?
I dun think so, and no 'but'.
Jia you Shawn didi, I am covering your back wor, and I am poud of you.

Dad, I am proud of you too. You may not have someone standing beside you and affirming you, but still I thank God that you are still holding Him tightly. You know He's beside you, Jia you wor Daddy! =)

I thank God that I saw this verse.
“I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches.”- Psalm 119:14
I was thinking how poor our souls are, and indeed those who are richest and may be most intelligent person, pursuing the things in this world, have a common thing, they are poor. They are poor in their lives, and most importantly, they have or felt poor in their souls. In their hearts, it's like a bottomless pit, so they searched for lots of things like...

*relationship for love to fill the emptiness in hearts
*work to numb their hearts and be ignorant to all things
* thinking that friends is the best, making up for friends when they felt they have done wrong, which they did not.
*some may choose to have materials in this world to fill their insatisfaction, while some look for "fun"(not Dad) at night or ONS.

When seeking the Lord these few days, I felt kinda rejuvenated, somehow not enough... and yup, I asked for more. God-addict, I guess haha. =D I felt kinda fullest in my life, never lack of anything, unless God wants me to go into love love love! =D
Relationship, is something very interesting, yet accountability to our leaders are very important, because they can guide us into a state that we can even progress in a faster way. Haha! =)

Divisions in the Church
10I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. 11My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. 12What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas[a]"; still another, "I follow Christ."

13Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into[b] the name of Paul? 14I am thankful that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15so no one can say that you were baptized into my name. 16(Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I don't remember if I baptized anyone else.) 17For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with words of human wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.


1 Corinthians 1:10 to 17

Everyone has their hearts and their mindset, it's different from one another that is what Christ has created us. Yes, as each of own individuals has a different mindsets and ideals, what would that means? Do we really should stand away from one another and pursue what is within our mind, and going towards our goals, becoming self-centred, looking upon ourselves, and not united in seeking God?

Is Christ divided? Are we baptised in different names?

It's like what Paul has said, it's not him who is crucified on the Cross but Christ. Yes, we may not be perfect in our ways, yet, we are bodies of Christ to form together as one. YOu may think we can be connected to work hand in hand, and given an instruction by a leader. Yes that is true, but what thoughts can be perfect if it didnt come out from Christ? Human's instruction wasnt quite perfect, it has its consequences. But when one who seeks God with all his heart, his thoughts and mindset will be like Christ, and if everyone becomes like that, the thoughts of the people will be united as one. We do not work hand in hand towards instruction, but towards mind to mind, that makes us supernatural, because we know what each christian want to do.

It's doesnt mean much when we re working for same thing, but it meant something when our hearts are all for one thing. It's like 100k blessings.
You can choose to say this,"hi, my church is holding a 100k event, will you like to take part?"
People can reject that when they heard it's from church, if they are kinda skeptical.
It will be different if you put it this way,"hi, with this coming of celebrating of this special national day, together with this special event, our church has come out with a special event, that is to bless people around us, so will you mind to take part of it?"
Diverting their attention onto other things, then bring them and infused the knowledge of Christ slowly.

There are attractive things like people and events attracting other people, and making them stay in a church. Slowly and regularly, infuse the knowledge of Christ into them effectively, and follow up, and God will mould them and change their targets in life from other things into Christ, something that can make stay forever in Christ. That's simply great. =)
Too bad in us, we missed out something. =/

It also talks about when minds are connected with God, ideas can be very complex and creative to deal with all sorts of people, yet to the end for same, very purpose, that is to preach the gospel to the others. =)
Doesnt it seems longer?
Of course it does, and it takes time, but God has given you life, and now you have the time of the whole world. Yet, it's worth it, because at the very end, you managed to hold that person in Christ most of the time. =)

Thanks be to God who shows me all these. =)

Been feeling down the whole day, after sinning against my body. But thank God, I still went out with Samuel and his friends, great too! =)

I went to see "Secret" (不能说的秘密)today.

I guess it's by God's grace today that I went to watch Secret, because Samuel wanted to watch Rush Hour 3, which has a remarks from Samuel's cousins. =)
In the end, out of my expectation, from the sms I received from Samuel, it's "Secret" that we went to watch.

It's a kinda funny, romantic and great show. The director, Jay Chou, had experienced in directing Music Video, this time His directing for this movie was great. Sorry if I dunno how to say how to say whether the director is good or not. But I think, what he has done is very good already. Everything is not too messy. =) It has its meaning inside. You can go and watch it. REally recommended! =)



Every romance that one went through has a song, such as for this time Secret, it has "不能说的秘密" by Jay this time. I guess for mine, even though it's kinda weird, I have been encountering a song called, 恋爱达人. The best thing is, one day can encounter 3 times, it seems like this song is really finding me. =D Maybe I can be good at attracting gals and talk to them =D, but well, I still can only one in the end.



I thank God, I know whatever I have done cannot bring cover my sins, yet He who dies for me, gives me grace and mercy for these few days. He brings me back once again, the reconcilation of our relationship between Our Heavenly Father and me. I was asking Him, what can I do to fill me the loss of Him? It's to desire and come back to Him, asking for His Presence more and more, always seeking Him, like how King David's heart. =)

I realised that I am fighting the battle sometimes, alone and there's a limit, like Achillies. He is indeed great. I was listening to one song, that says,

"Because all I want is more of you.."
~ All my days, Paradise Band.

God didn't say much, He just left me with this phrase. More of Christ and even best, all of Christ. =) I dunno whether I can give him a bit more or a bit lesser, but I will try my best to give my all to Him. Just that phrase of lyrics, it leads to me to my answer, and certainly that is God's answer to me too. =) Thank God for that answer. =) And I guess, Dad, no need to reply my email le about Sins de. =) But Dad, you still have to pray for me hor! =)

I was reading a chapter and only fasted from food till halfway. God speaked to me when I was reading the chapter. I broke and confessed my fast, before I drink nice grass jelly milk. Because inside got grass jelly, if it's milk tea, that will be a different case. But whether is it or not, it's done so yup, I am going to extend my fast, wahaha! Just to be discipline and correct myself ba, especially every monday, where Shawn didi and Justin will go round and pray for the school. Starts from 12. =) Join us along if you can. =)

The book I am reading is Every Day with Jesus, the free sample from FOP, yet a very nice book=).

Continued from the chapter, about "the Shape of Soul", it talks about what actually our souls are actually made for God's Word. It seems like "you are what you eat" but that doesnt means that you eat nuts, you are nuts. =D

On the other hand, we do not really function that properly in our daily lives, not to sins and running from other sins, because all we take is the words from men like it's okay to do certain things to your body (like sex) because it's health. But to us it's one of the most sacred thing, because it signifies the unification of the two different genders bodies. Often the views from the world and most of the time, they holds critical view onto this world and to His people. The shape of our souls should be mould by Him. It's not by the words from others or anything, but believe in His Word in everything. Be sensitive, but not too critical to His Words upon on you. you will receive more than what you wanted, and usually, things that are really unexpected, maybe something that is lost long ago, and it's coming back to you again.=)

You will never know. To some, it's relationships that they can went back to the past and amend it. but whatever actions we do, it adds onto more consequences, just that maybe the outcomes have more or less side effects, and whether we dare to bear it or not. =)

My friend said I am very holy, haha, but I dun think so and I need to improve on that. =) It's like things on the earth. No one, nothing is actually able to be good in this world like weapons. It can be used to protect or kill people.
It doesnt matter what is its purpose, but it does matter when it comes to handling of the things and what is the true purpose in your heart and outcome of a topic when you are handling it.

Just follow His Words. =)

Another thing is, knowing our limits. It's very important to know our limits before we pushes our limits to highest level. I didn't really know my limits well, and went to see pornography and end up sinning against my body, my families, and ultimately, God. Feeling remorsed is nothing, but knowing what to do and repent and pray, was what I need to do for the moment after I knew I am sinned.
My relationship with God is needed so much that whatever I do, He will be there for me and I must prevent myself from sinning again. =)

=The Chain can never be lost by God's grace,in fact, it's always staying beside me.=

Been studying?
Nope.

Been playing and slacking?
Yes.

Haiz. I looked at myself everyday, I wonder what I can do inside me. I seems to be kinda big responsibility. I guess the path that I choose to walk was real, that is choose Christ and accept Him into my life. Otherwise my life is a mess now. Sure got lots of sinful desires and got lots of ex-galfriends, hurting each of them.
thank God that I am in Christ. =)

Great resposibilities in my life... why?
No one seems to really care in the family. Everyone is working their best for their work. Tiring. So that time I choose to walk with God and Dad was so right. And I guess, in fact friends are better than those who are in church. Seriously, maybe someday I will be like Hui Mun, dropping out.

But somehow, another thought came to my mind. All of us in the cell is stubborn, including me. haha. So what must I do?

Pick a few potential people within the tribe and rise up. There is surely a few, especially the gals' side. It will not be easy because our age group is very wide (16 to 27) all in different areas working. But thank be to God, because He allows me to see that yes, there is a great chance that all of us will have children and Dad will have a great time managing us. Our age gap has actually become a net for us, for us to be able to outreach to people. Dad didnt really say much but surely, in his heart since he knows he cant do much, so yup, he lets us to explore. =)

Dad have not chosen his 12 yet.
Insecurity that I wont be under his 12. I think certainly there is, but whatever the outcome goes, I will be the flagbearer of the family, of the Isaiah tribe.

Lots of time, I asked for God's healing for my families. But wonder this, was our family really that weak?

SO yup, it's all so much. Unanswered questions. So much insecurity.
Yet, thanks be to God who always lead us in trimuphant process. =)


EDITED: That very day, I guess I am at the lowest.=/