Been studying?
Nope.

Been playing and slacking?
Yes.

Haiz. I looked at myself everyday, I wonder what I can do inside me. I seems to be kinda big responsibility. I guess the path that I choose to walk was real, that is choose Christ and accept Him into my life. Otherwise my life is a mess now. Sure got lots of sinful desires and got lots of ex-galfriends, hurting each of them.
thank God that I am in Christ. =)

Great resposibilities in my life... why?
No one seems to really care in the family. Everyone is working their best for their work. Tiring. So that time I choose to walk with God and Dad was so right. And I guess, in fact friends are better than those who are in church. Seriously, maybe someday I will be like Hui Mun, dropping out.

But somehow, another thought came to my mind. All of us in the cell is stubborn, including me. haha. So what must I do?

Pick a few potential people within the tribe and rise up. There is surely a few, especially the gals' side. It will not be easy because our age group is very wide (16 to 27) all in different areas working. But thank be to God, because He allows me to see that yes, there is a great chance that all of us will have children and Dad will have a great time managing us. Our age gap has actually become a net for us, for us to be able to outreach to people. Dad didnt really say much but surely, in his heart since he knows he cant do much, so yup, he lets us to explore. =)

Dad have not chosen his 12 yet.
Insecurity that I wont be under his 12. I think certainly there is, but whatever the outcome goes, I will be the flagbearer of the family, of the Isaiah tribe.

Lots of time, I asked for God's healing for my families. But wonder this, was our family really that weak?

SO yup, it's all so much. Unanswered questions. So much insecurity.
Yet, thanks be to God who always lead us in trimuphant process. =)


EDITED: That very day, I guess I am at the lowest.=/