I was upset today.
upset, because there is such a great miscommunication between both of us.
thank God for Ziyang, who went out with me in the end.
He seems like a subsitute to her, lol. but too bad, he is not her.
thank God for Ziyang, who went out with me,
I got a new pair of pants, Ziyang got lost his wallet. lol.
haiz, my poor buddy. (:

today, I really wanted to go out with her- I dunno whether is it the selfish me, or unsecured me or the busy me, I just wanted to go out with her badly.
and today, she reinforced to me - ah my profession habit!
REINFORCED: a word that I will used to instruct patient to do something, and to tell them again. especially to do something that is real hard and make sure they can repeat what I do.

but guess, today is a wake up day for me.
She reinforced to me, as she said today she wanted to go out with her friend.
too bad then, and let it be.
thank God, and as much as I wanted to cry to God - oh well, just gonna control my emotions.
It just make me too upset through out the day. Guess I have to keep prayering,
to keep my soul and my mind, the Holy Spirit to alive and burn even wilder.
it is good that she went out today and, also I wanted to go out with her after I received her sms.
It seems like I can't.

so no point keep upsetting. so....keep my upset mood! wooot!
muahahah!


well guess she wanted a relationship to be free and not demanding.
let it be - hope she dun complain i dun hav time for her lol.
let it be - see what she can do lol.

let it....

aiya, whatever la!
she didnt ask me to be upset anyway. hah!
because in this relationship is meant to bless each other.
roar!
I am still slightly upset. :(
let my tears roll over my face when I am asleep...!


Thank God for today.
thank God for Ziyang! (:
wee! :D

I was once reminded about the simple faith.
God told me about it.
TO keep it, it's so hard...

... and it is the only way to God.
it comes with faith, love and hope.
I was constantly reminded about what God told me through you;
I am sometimes childish and do that childish actions. lol. yeah true.
and that's so true. (:

So, I changed because I need to, I want to, and I believe I have to.
That childishness, I changed - I need to keep the child in me,
on the other hand, to grow and guard things, and develop my character. (:

A year, getting it through with God, and breaking through my life, sorting out issues in my life.
Thanks giving there are lot, it's quite a waste not to share, but none the lest. I think i shall share it here.

thanksgivings:
lots to cry about,
lots to be sad about.
lots to believe about,
lots of it is to dream about.

Getting intimacy with God, at times when I am lost - is the main point.
when I was quite helpless,
getting screwed by people around me,
correcting my character,
losing GOd's wisdom in my life,
my attachments,
not getting enough rest,
fighting for opportunities,
lots...

leads me to a dream.
TO soar like a eagle,
to roar like a lion,
and to dream,

because I am a dream. (:
To forget,
to love,
to forgo,
to forgive,
to learn,
to seek,
to knock,
to gather,
to dream,
to teach and to preach.

God told me very much about my spiritual walk.
MY salvation,
what God told me a bout love.
A lot of things in life, I still ahve to be clear about myself,
where am I standing,
why do i want to seek,
what are the things that I place deeply in my heart?
and,
what is long term,
what is eternal, that stand through true fire and storms. (:

Praise God, for what I am. (: