finished my last attachment on last last tuesday.
thursday they celebrated ward sister's birthday - it was a belated birthday.
her actual birthday was 13 Feb, which is the valentine day's eve.

a mixture of feelings.
I have been thinking my future career and life.
to be a nurse or not to.


it was a nice experience to work in AH. facilities may not be as much other hospitals, but it is still very efficient and it provides patient care very much.
it is so much in an extent where maybe other hospital may need extra manpower to provide.
it is a very nice and good place to work, just that it has very little exposure to other disease and management.

I felt like, i was working there. Caring patients - pouring what we have is what an nurse will do, whether is it a staff nurse or an assistant nurse.
I love to communicate to my patients, providing support to them.
and my passion is to save lives.
but apparently, that is very little what nurses can do - as i worked through my PRCP.
I can handle up to 6 patients so far. night shift, with continuous antibiotics - 9 patients.
3 admissions were done by my preceptor.
Thank God for all my preceptors, without them and without SSN Tong's teaching, I dun think Jimmy will be able to reorganise his work.
thanks Murnie for helping to boost my confidence level - because she's the one who said I am ready to be a nurse.
thanks Tong, because she has great patience to teach me, and bless with meals - because everytime, I am so busy until I got no time to eat.
Not because I dunno how to manage my work, it just that I will like to participant in most of my nursing care to patient.
To turn them,
to clean diapers,
to change bedsheet,
to bring them to bath -something i did the least. :x
to do all the changes.

doing so much, giving what I can provide the best nursing care:
that is not saving lives - a nurse helps them to regain to their optimal level of independence upon recovery.

must i be a nurse then I can save lives?
specialised skills to take care of patients, to bring hope to their lives?
are all that my job as a nurse?
For one thing I am sure, I want to be like Paul.
7 days a week - he works for 5 days, and the rest he used it to preach, to teach and to fellowship.
I got a choice. (:

Being through the nursing course taught me a lot in life.
even in a smaller scale hospital, i thank God because I learnt to prioritise, to manage and to control whatever I need to do.
It is a stepping stone for me.
To begin with, in my life. (:




I was asking Christ, what do He want me to do: He asked me to wait, to be still.
I believe Him, because He taught me a lot of things about Him and He loves me. (:
I will seek for Him, for my future. (:
I believe there is something more He wants to give me. (:

Praise God. (:

I was thinking about the relationship.
Found myself to be quite upset about how it ended.


Somehow, I thank Christ for today, that I managed to went for service.
It renewed the relationship between Christ and me, as I was sitting there and pray.
Chris, my spiritual leader-daddy, helped me to pray and hug me - my tears flowed.
On the other hand, as I begin to think about the things that has passed,
well if I managed to see her again, whether things are doing fine or not, I think as long as I can see her smile, I will be smiling too.



so as i prayed today,
a sense of calmness came into me, the warmth - and no doubt, that's love.



a love that Christ wanted to give me.
Thank You Lord.
it just marks the first step in my life. (:

it's over, for this loving relationship between her and me.
over valentine.

well, our friendship has not over yet.
something I wont rather care much. Lol. :D

And thank God, it happened during this time - oh man.
I learnt a lot.
To love one unconditionally,
to embrace through everything,
to think appropriately,
to learn the right way,
and to obey God's laws.

Thank God.
and God is real, so real.
Did I made the wrong choice?

I dun think so.
I think, it's been a wonderful relationship, though we dated each other twice only, within 2 months.


Praise God. (:
and thank you. (: