Been through OCS - it's tough nonetheless.
Used to looking forward about book out and going home - no longer now,
Used to believe LLL : long lasting love - hardly now,

I'm stuck in loneliness, submerged halfway.
Hardly anyone knows...

My heart was tearing about the promises in my life and the people i used to like, when I was watching "The Promise" at Channel U.
Friends, are just being chucked to one side after somewhile. even those who are close to you?
I was very sad, about the promises people made and never fulfill it, and i felt depressed yesterday.

I am pretty lost - about the things in the world.
I really dun like how i am living now, everything seems to be so fake.
everyone wants to be at the receiving end, and no one wants to give it..
I felt tired.. how much can i continue to move on, with God?
how much can i hold on?

Nonetheless, I really want to thank God for this opportunity to be in OCS.
to be where I am, for God really loves me whoever I am.
For this period of time, He is going to drill me more on discipline to be a disciple,
and that's what i want to be, but I am not doing anything.
He's not going to be angry, He is gonna loves me more and more, because i really want to seek Him. I hardly can trust anyone on this land, this world.

How sweet it will be for Him to sing "This I Promise You".
maybe this my part of loneliess, that God gonna build me up to be a strong person.
In life, He has always provide any opportunity for me to strive.

For this season, there's a lot for me to reflect.
Christmas, I do not really feel much about it, though I wanted to.
I just feel so indifferent..
maybe my heart has hardened, or maybe i have changed.
but no one can change my direction towards God..

Praise God. :)
and thank you Lord, for everything in my life! :)
For You have came for me.. :)