Been through OCS - it's tough nonetheless.
Used to looking forward about book out and going home - no longer now,
Used to believe LLL : long lasting love - hardly now,

I'm stuck in loneliness, submerged halfway.
Hardly anyone knows...

My heart was tearing about the promises in my life and the people i used to like, when I was watching "The Promise" at Channel U.
Friends, are just being chucked to one side after somewhile. even those who are close to you?
I was very sad, about the promises people made and never fulfill it, and i felt depressed yesterday.

I am pretty lost - about the things in the world.
I really dun like how i am living now, everything seems to be so fake.
everyone wants to be at the receiving end, and no one wants to give it..
I felt tired.. how much can i continue to move on, with God?
how much can i hold on?

Nonetheless, I really want to thank God for this opportunity to be in OCS.
to be where I am, for God really loves me whoever I am.
For this period of time, He is going to drill me more on discipline to be a disciple,
and that's what i want to be, but I am not doing anything.
He's not going to be angry, He is gonna loves me more and more, because i really want to seek Him. I hardly can trust anyone on this land, this world.

How sweet it will be for Him to sing "This I Promise You".
maybe this my part of loneliess, that God gonna build me up to be a strong person.
In life, He has always provide any opportunity for me to strive.

For this season, there's a lot for me to reflect.
Christmas, I do not really feel much about it, though I wanted to.
I just feel so indifferent..
maybe my heart has hardened, or maybe i have changed.
but no one can change my direction towards God..

Praise God. :)
and thank you Lord, for everything in my life! :)
For You have came for me.. :)

It is the 5th week book out, going back tomorrow, sunday 1450 hours.
Pretty bad timing, but i guess it's necessary.


things are happening at home -
parents are going to be separated for 3 years;
I am in the middle of crossroads and i asked my brother about it. He spoke very much about his journey upon choosing engineering path. It is really tough for him because he started from ITE to NTU. Thank God for him, cos i guess without him, i think i wont be able to thinking through my decision and my actions.
My strengths, my future, my weaknesses, areas that I know I can strive and get used with, what I really wanted at the end of the day, and what i can give with my strength, and whatever God has provided.

In the midst of army, it is all revolving, and it just keeps on coming.
Today, I woke up with a broken heart, with her in my dreams.
It is a sweet dream to have her, but it is a cruel fact to find that she is no longer by my side - and my tears flowed out as I went to wash out.
Maybe things have been different now, if i am with her; or maybe not.
I guess though it has been sometime, it still leave a big hole in the small and weak me.

Thank You Lord, for always been with me.
And hey,
thank God for you, Jo-lin, for making the effort to keep in touch.
well your smses perks me up, to reality.

Thanks for all the prayers - they are important and dear to me, really. (:
thank God for everything. (:

a little bit of this and that, guess that pretty make up life.

Thank God that I have came so far in my life.
now, it is the time for this..

Army.
pretty soon, i will be enlisting.
pretty soon, i will be gone.
pretty soon, i will be missed.
pretty soon, i will be 'botak'...

whatever that was done for, i will be doing for the others.
I guess, life isnt that bad,
because there are so much things to thank God for.
Pretty much, i guess i have screwed up my life, my own self. (:

I thank God for God.
I thank God for my families, cell families.
I thank God for people around me, in school and AH.
I thank God for people who taught me, good and bad.
I thank God for all the prayers.

I thank Jesus - He taught me pretty much in life.
Asking from Christ, about questions in life, in skyway.
Making my decision with Christ and with Chris, those who looked over me.

I always have this admiration and adorations upon all the couples.
Everyone has their tough, yet beautiful and loving story behind every relationship.
Persevering through and through all difficulties.
If I have these thoughts, i guess, at least 1 percent of the people in this world will have it too.
seeking and trying to find the ways in romance.
I just thank Jesus for telling me all these - it just make me realise that,
I do have this special story in my heart. maybe, it may seems like it has passed, but the very fact i hope everything can be refresh, from the bottom of my heart.

but i do have another special story to tell, currently on going: how Christ has loved me, show me the different aspects - beautiful and positive aspects in life. Believing Him is tough, but rejecting the things that He has done, and always been doing is even tougher.
It is a loving story to tell.
In fact it gives hope, love and faith, to those who are weak, poor and lost.

Blessed are those who hears Him, and asks Him.
“Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.”- 1 Chronicles 29:11

I was passing-by my house around, while rushing off to pickup Zero and Nelson.
I came by this blangadesh, who is having quite a hard time pushing the heavy thingy.


I was thinking, should i help or not?
it is dirty.
i am kinda rushing for time.
he can do it by himself.

I was struggling to help him, or not.
SO IN THE END....



i didn't, i rushed off to pick them up.
i feel that, i need to pick them up as soon as possible.
but i prayed within myself: Dear Lord, if i will be coming up with this matter again, i will help him, or whoever it is.

And i asked both of them.
and they said yes.


i realised, if all these can add up to every little good thing in the world,
i guess, this world will be more beautiful, little by little.
and a lot of things added to this beautiful world: human beings.
so nice! :D

I just had my graduation yesterday. it was kinda fun.
and i went for NJD training after that.

my reluctancy about this graduation was pretty much. I didn't really do well.
a GPA of 2.30 after 3 years - something i am not really proud of.
kinda condemnation by my classmates - the understanding and hard learning process for me.
waste of time, may eat into training time = sians.

but i went still, after hearing what Chris said.
Like what Chris said, to celebrate this graduation with Jesus.
a process that Jesus, He himeself, walked beside me.
Thank You Lord. (:
I thank God, for all these in my life. If it is without Jesus comforting me, I guess, Jimmy wont be here, and graduated.

while walking towards the Director of Health Science for an empty red scroll, I felt the pride on walking. the breeze came to my face as i was walking. it is cooling, and memorable.
it was just all over, the 3 years in poly.
welcome to the new start.


I thank God, I was looking at my transcript, do i really suit my nursing career?
which apparently not. I did quite well with all my nursing practical.
and the others, not that good, other than those management and issues in the world.
oh well, what can i find for myself, a job which consist of all these?
I am looking forward that the Way God has planned. (:

deep within myself, I am feeling pretty dry and down.
I miss her. everytime, I search for her, in church, and in hall 9.
Just to see her well being, and i always caught her in my eyes.
but she didn't, which is pretty fine.

though i just want say a hi to her.
God just blessed me with this,
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:”- Proverbs 31:10, 27-28

who can find? only Christ. (:
I just love the way that God affirms me. (:

Lin Jun Jie has came up with a new song: 表达爱
发现爱 - 期待爱 - 表达爱,
it pretty has much of its description about love.
Discovering, waiting, and showing about love, is what God does in our lives.
we found God's love. while we pray and wait, He shows His love silently around us.
And He shows us more of He loving us as we read more about Him.

Thank You, My Father in Heaven. (:
泪水流过才明白
爱不爱原来心里早已存在
幸福不在千里外让
我勇敢表达爱...

I wont fight, I will cry.


I guess that is pretty much for a human.
for them, to love and to believe.
I want to be that kind of people, very weak in all manners.
broken, and contrite.


why is it so?
I realised, God love me, because i am weak.
the strong will, and the child in me.
putting away my childish side. yeah.
and my intelligence, insight, and specificity.

guess, that's much in my life.
others, may view me as a lower being, and maybe rejected me.
i will cry and i will change.

hey, welcome to life. (:
thank God and thank you Lord. (:

living in anticipation, praise God.


every fear that I faced, I thank God for all the grace, chances and love that He has put into my life. I didnt really suffer much, I guess.
but I hope I can let others see the faith taht I am working towards too,
for that's God's love for all.

Good friday isnt just a good friday.
It is for me to reflect what really pin my dear heavenly Daddy onto the Cross.
it speaks of great love and grace from God.
my attitude, my characters, simply everything in my life.

i do have her in my heart,
but i surrender my heart, my mind to Christ, for I know I adore, love Him, and He loves me.
let me not to forget the rest around me,
and her, who i really loved, and love - but just wanna commit to You, Father.
Lead me back to you. (:

Praise God for all the things in my life. yeah (:

thank God for today.

went to clarice's house today.
thank God her parents, and her grand-daddy were fine.
so glad to hear that.
both of her parents are very nice.

oh, today managed to pray at the coffin - it was indeed a blessing.
I always have this fear, even though sometimes, the one lying in the coffin
I was praying hard that grandmother will arise from the dead.
and now, i just to pray for the well being of the family.

may the peace and God's love, fall into the home and family. (:

lol, I guess i am really blessed today.
went to help out pastor to give out flyers for coming easter sunday.
then they tell me, there is a prayer meet later.
thank God, for that. otherwise I have wasted it.
nonetheless thank God for today, and everything.

prayer meet, is perfectly wonderful with God. (:
Praise the Lord! :)